"it also seems that maybe I am not seeing certain other things as clearly"
Of course!!!
Lather, rinse, repeat.
There's no perfect enlightenment. That's a MYTH.
Yes it's the Way of Life. It seems we will continue learning and acting as Life unfolds and inspires us. We will continue brushing our teeth everyday. There is no secret or magic about it. I can see this. I've "got" this especially in the past weeks.
....
Well, a few questions to myself: have I happily accepted Life then? Is there a feeling of inner fredom?
Well no. The inner freedom or joy is not there, living still feels quite heavy and burdensome, yet I have at least "understood" how Life works (The Way of Life), and this is a huge development for me.
You will be finding things to question & clean up for the rest of your life.
Yes, as long as life continues, it seems... I realize that living is experiencing life as it is. That Life is Mundane. The proof of (Immediate) Reality is (Immediate) Reality.
I see that there is nothing that Reality can be checked against or compared to. It is only the Mind that has a “comparing interface” in its “pseudo-Relation” to reality, while Reality is practically the only “Ground” of Reality.
I think I am in the process of understanding Reality more directly and in an "impersonal" way nowadays.
This is just killing me. You've got it & you don't know you've got it.
Hey! What is killing you my dear friend?:) I just try to make it clear that there are still things (in relation to noself) that haven’t fallen into place yet. This is the current situation here: in daily life I still feel highly concerned, heavy, anxious, fearful, self-critical, and "not feel liberated at all" yet... however despite all these, in my view too, it is evident that “something critical, possibly groundbreaking" has happened here.
I acknowledge that till the past few weeks if the percentage of “being Free from the Mind” in my case was let’s say 20%, now it is at least 60-65%. That’s how I feel. Why not 90% or 100%? Because I don’t feel light at all, my mind and heart still feel quite burdened and heavy.
Although I feel "relatively" more peaceful nowadays, this feeling is ambivalent and it seems that it possibly depends on relatively more positive “external” conditions of the past weeks.
....
As a result, I can say concern and fear still dominate my life, I do not feel an inner freedom or enthusiasm for life, so I assume that I haven’t
"seen" the
“main portion of it” yet.
It's a process for sure, so I will continue doing my best...