Stream Entry

[Alless]

oooh look at this, this is so fun

I feel something here. Now tell me Nicholas.
Is the "quality" of experience" for want of a better phrase, any different to what is was 12 months ago?

And... guess what? the mind did its thing and created a nice answer, just for fun I'm gonna share it with you

That's quite an image! Thank you !!
And I see your having fun with this too.
Isn't this all supposed to be serious ?!?!?




Is there a "lightness" in experience compared to 12 months ago or am I reading too much into that?

what really happens in my experience is that after asking one of these questions I just "fall" into experience, and observe all of those (senses + thoughts), without getting caught.

Lovely !!

How do I consistently manage to fall into it deeper and deeper? some sessions just aren't... don't seem to progress.

This is par for the course so to speak. Life is never linear. There is always ebb and flow. Rather than me talk about what happens here.....
And going back to your comment about "I just "fall" into experience"
What is it that is it that gets in the way of the falling? (going "deeper")

Now here's the contradiction: I don't have to wait for the answer because that's exactly the answer (it's right in front of my face), yet if you ask me the "final questions" we will both clearly see I haven't "crossed the gate" yet.

What is "crossing the gate"?





What is telling you that you haven't crossed the gate?





How do you honestly know that you haven't crossed the gate?




Hug

[Nicholas]

(still working on these answers)

[Alless]

😊😊😊

[Nicholas]

oooh look at this, this is so fun

I feel something here. Now tell me Nicholas.
Is the "quality" of experience" for want of a better phrase, any different to what is was 12 months ago?

Probably, maybe more aware of the power of the mind and its narrative. And how it is able to conceptualize EVERYTHING in order to "solve" this and make "me" "forget about it".

And... guess what? the mind did its thing and created a nice answer, just for fun I'm gonna share it with you

That's quite an image! Thank you !!
And I see your having fun with this too.
Isn't this all supposed to be serious ?!?!?

Hehe "serious" is just another quality, another thought

Is there a "lightness" in experience compared to 12 months ago or am I reading too much into that?

It's possible... it's possible. Yeah, life kinda feels a bit lighter sometimes huh? kinda "what exactly am I so worried about?". A bit of... childhood feeling/color.

Mhm! I think... I'm starting to see why they compare this work with "seeing like a kid again".

What is it that is it that gets in the way of the falling? (going "deeper")

I'm not sure! I'm not even sure if falling is the appropiate term or procedure.

What is "crossing the gate"?

seeing that there is no self.

What is telling you that you haven't crossed the gate?

the self :) (or my-self)

How do you honestly know that you haven't crossed the gate?

still experiencing the world as a "self"


---

It's the stories in the mind... that's what I have to watch for and look over and over...

It's also the "looking" which makes me "look" with the eyes (outside) and I guess that's what helps me look the stories in the mind and not being untangled by them

I think that's the "secret" to this process. Just "looking" at those stories and not being swept up by them.

Ok... let's see what happens now...

HUG

[Alless]

What is telling you that you haven't crossed the gate?

the self :) (or my-self)

That's a conceptual answer Nicholas.
Please LOOK and tell me what is telling you that you haven't crossed the gate?

I think that's the "secret" to this process. Just "looking" at those stories and not being swept up by them.

Yes indeed !

Remember way back we pointed to this.......

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So what is this Direct or Actual Experiencing? For practical purposes we can identify 6 aspects of experiencing. It is PURE

Seeing
Hearing
Feeling (Sensation, not emotion. Emotion is Sensation plus made-up thoughts & labels)
Tasting
Smelling
Thoughts Arising (but not their content)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thoughts ABOUT seeing, thoughts ABOUT hearing, thoughts ABOUT feeling, thoughts ABOUT taste, thoughts ABOUT smell, thoughts ABOUT thoughts - in other words stories - and believing them create this sense of "me" which is but a thought embedded in the stories.

As you are aware, and it bears repeating, when we are unconsciously hypnotized by thoughts, by the stories, then we are in illusion. Seeing what takes you out of direct experience is what we are about in this investigation.

You say ......

Ok... let's see what happens now...

Let's do that and tell me what happens




Hug

[Nicholas]

(still working on this!!!)

[Alless]

I appreciate the heads up Nicholas. Thank you 😊😊😊

[Nicholas]

still working on this, and it's beautiful. I'm trying to work as much as I can without stressing myself. but dedicating time whenever I can instead of just "sitting down".

Also, it's very interesting to do this work when going to bed and falling asleep, it's like the mind... some stuff hits deeper.

will answer the pending questions either tomorrow or next day :)

hug

[Nicholas]

Now I understand why you (LU) repeat to LOOK. Just look. that's it. nothing else needs to be done. look and look and keep looking.

Look at visuals, at sounds and sensations.
Look at thoughts.

Oh, waiting for something? waiting for "the answer"? Doesn't matter! also looking at that "sensation/thought".

And keep looking.

Got distracted? keep looking.
what is it that got distracted? look.

Oh, resistance appears? body/mind say "ok, enough of this, stop it"... look at that!
OH! tears? strong emotions? also look at them!

Yeah, the mind starts activating defenses.

So I'm on the right track.

There really is nothing left to do: just look and see where this leads.

Will keep reporting...

Hug

[Alless]

Just keep looking as you say Nicholas. 😊😊😊

Yes, clear seeing is all that's needed.

When you're ready let me know what you discover in the looking.



,

[Nicholas]

+ looking at the fatigue/resistance that sometimes sets in, instead of giving up. it later dissolves
+ looking at distractions, at the mechanism of distraction. from what am I being distracted? and where? and WHAT is getting distracted? looking at that
+ looking at the "looking" process too, seems like some kind of a zoom-in into experience
+ also realizing that, a lot of time where I'm thinking about stuff, stuff that really doesn't make sense to think about, that just stresses me or feeds my anxiety patterns... it's better dedicated to this work, so slowly transitioning into that too

will continue looking

hug

[Alless]

Good work Nicholas.

I won't add anything so as not to distract from your 'Inner wisdom" that continues to show "the way"

Hugs




.

[Nicholas]

+ I guess I had another insight. I tend to split my attention between inside, outside.
inside = mind
outside = senses

also, this false dichotomy where looking at senses is "good" but looking at mind is "bad" because I'm getting lost into it.

but I think... the right mindset is to actually embrace everything in one look, I don't know how to explain it.
Like I just... should look ALL at the same time.

+ which matches previous "insight" of paying attention to all stimulus at the same time

+ ohhh nono, wait a second. it is not a zoom in! it is a ZOOM OUT! it is a "step back" and look at everything that arises without focusing on anything particular (I realized this falling asleep, it's some kind of a "relaxing" of the focus and just let all phenomena arise without "tensing" on anything)

(basically the same insight in 3 different iterations)

ALSO, it seems that doing this while falling asleep... mmmh, I don't know, but I think it gives me very interesting insight and progress!

hug

[Alless]

Hello Nicholas

I tend to split my attention between inside, outside

Is there really an inside and an outside?
Do this Nicholas
Let your attention rest on a thought. Then move your attention to an object in the room, say a chair. Move your attention back to a thought or a visual image. Then to another object. Move your attention back and forth a few times.
Does your attention actually cross ANY boundaries that would designate an "inside" and an "outside"?




Do you actually split your attention or is that just a thought that you do?

some kind of a "relaxing" of the focus and just let all phenomena arise without "tensing" on anything

What is actually experienced when this happens? What differences do you experience compared to "normal" day to day activity?


Hug

[Nicholas]

OOOH! now I know exactly where to look! now I get it!

"What's here without the stories? I'm always inside a story so, what am I when there are no stories?"

That's what I'm working on right now!

It's not thoughts per se, because there can be thoughts but there's still some kind of a story going on.
So it's not about shutting them down, and it's not about the absence of them. It's the stories! it is always about the stories in the mind!
Underneath all of this there seems to be a major story, the story of "me". I can SENSE it, even without thoughts.
There's a clinging to it, and to stories in general. That's why they distract me. I cling to them. And it's hard to detach from them, to avoid being absorbed. I feel naked, empty without them. I'm afraid to lose them.

I think this is the whole deal right?

I guess the only thing I can do is to look at them when they arise and then let them go, not pushing off or eliminating.
There seems to be a compulsion with thinking/stories, a familiarity, a shelter. An attaching to them for protection. A not wanting to lose my identity.

Oh and by the way... the music in my head? That's another story. It's a story that says "I'm not safe, so I'm going to keep this stimulation going to calm myself", but of course it doesn't work, because it's anxious energy.

Your questions...

I tend to split my attention between inside, outside

Is there really an inside and an outside?
Do this Nicholas
Let your attention rest on a thought. Then move your attention to an object in the room, say a chair. Move your attention back to a thought or a visual image. Then to another object. Move your attention back and forth a few times.
Does your attention actually cross ANY boundaries that would designate an "inside" and an "outside"?

Object in the room and then an imagined object... one seems fake (less vivid), the other seems real.

Do you actually split your attention or is that just a thought that you do?

Attention can't be split right? it just moves from one object to another...

some kind of a "relaxing" of the focus and just let all phenomena arise without "tensing" on anything

What is actually experienced when this happens? What differences do you experience compared to "normal" day to day activity?

wait... a... second.... is it possible that...

there are no objects at all?
there is not even a thing called attention?
just... THIS?

(more confused than ever, where do I look now?
what's underneath the stories?
OR
THIS?)

hug