The Gate

Hi ZOC,

Let's look at If what I really am is nothing, then great!

What is the "I" in this sentence pointing to? What ideas are behind that "I" in the sentence? Write what comes up immediately.

experience. i don't really know. the one that is 'stuck' in this experience of being identified with thoughts and emotions.

Spot on. See that frame and notice the frame showing up in a wider space/awareness. Just as the things in the room show up in a wider space/awareness. And the sense of self shows up in a wider space/awareness.

Immerse yourself in this wider space/awareness. Just for a minute.

Are you nothing? Maybe "nothing" is not what you thought it was?

Best wishes,
John

will do this throughout the day.

Spot on. See that frame and notice the frame showing up in a wider space/awareness. Just as the things in the room show up in a wider space/awareness. And the sense of self shows up in a wider space/awareness.

Immerse yourself in this wider space/awareness. Just for a minute.

Are you nothing? Maybe "nothing" is not what you thought it was?

Best wishes,
John

will do this throughout the day.

the experience over the last day: spent some time during the working day opening up to the 'headless' view. At times it could be seen how everything rises up into that space - thoughts, feelings, choices, decisions, worries, me-ing. it was remembered that everything takes place in awareness and everything that is associated with the character is simply conditioned human thought the riseth and passeth away-eth. so what was "i"? the space in which it was happening, yet nothing there. literally nothing.

Hi John,

havent heard from you in a while. Hope everything is ok.

I'll keep looking in the meantime. :-)

Hi ZOC,

the experience over the last day: spent some time during the working day opening up to the 'headless' view. At times it could be seen how everything rises up into that space - thoughts, feelings, choices, decisions, worries, me-ing. it was remembered that everything takes place in awareness and everything that is associated with the character is simply conditioned human thought the riseth and passeth away-eth. so what was "i"? the space in which it was happening, yet nothing there. literally nothing.

I haven't been getting the email prompts for some reason. Sorry about that.

Nice! :) You see that the "I" really is an idea. Cool. And seeing that, and knowing that, its still noticed that this conditioned story continues to run, why wouldn't it. And at times, you fall into it (i-dentification) and at times, its seen to be happening, and not who you are. Its like a pulse and its all ok.

The name "zen of chaos" is interesting :) - it's rather like seeing the beauty without any explanation.

For me, its enjoyable to see the wide vista in which life appears and the human-ness of everyday life, chopping wood, making tea, watching the Mags sail up the league. :)

Please do continue to share the experience of the appearances coming and going, including the appearance of ZOC coming and going, and the noticing of THAT in which they seem to appear.

With best wishes and a Happy Christmas! :D
John

Hi ZOC,

I haven't been getting the email prompts for some reason. Sorry about that.

You stopped replying right after that 3-0 loss a few weeks back. I thought the ego had got the better of you! :D

Nice! :) You see that the "I" really is an idea. Cool. And seeing that, and knowing that, its still noticed that this conditioned story continues to run, why wouldn't it. And at times, you fall into it (i-dentification) and at times, its seen to be happening, and not who you are. Its like a pulse and its all ok.

So for a long time I think a big sticking point is the 'individual experience'. I ran through Ilona's 7 steps again and it's mainly that that sticks and causes doubt. It can be seen that the body-mind moves by itself. no need to coordinate walking or breathing. Thoughts arise out of nowhere without control. Yet there are two things that linger;

1. all these things are happening without and doer but the 'superego' as I call it is sittting up there thinking he's the CEO of Body-mind corporation. He thinks that all this is happening within him. I am not thinking, I am not doing, I am not managing. Who/what is this I that does not manage anything, who claims ownership over the not doing?!

2. Probably related to point 1, and maybe it is the same thing actually, is the perception of individual experience that makes it feel personal. It is like being the container of this individual experience. It’s a familiar suit, this fixed position, where life is experienced and sensed. Whatever ‘me’ is it feels like there is something that is bound to this body-mind. There are often things I don’t like such as nasty emotions or cynical thoughts. So it feels like there is a me that is subject to conditioning and ways of thinking that ‘I’ am bound to. I am the container of subjective and objective experience. I don’t know what that ‘thing’ is, but I am alive and aware and bound to this body-mind, and so it feels like whatever that thing is that is behind it all is thing the thing that I am. It's what makes the experience feel separate rather than all one life flowing freely.

The name "zen of chaos" is interesting :) - it's rather like seeing the beauty without any explanation.

I wanted to find the peace amidst the chaos of human experience :)

For me, its enjoyable to see the wide vista in which life appears and the human-ness of everyday life, chopping wood, making tea, watching the Mags sail up the league. :)

Please do continue to share the experience of the appearances coming and going, including the appearance of ZOC coming and going, and the noticing of THAT in which they seem to appear.

With best wishes and a Happy Christmas! :D
John

The toon seem to be doing well at the moment. It really is open this year, only 6 points separate the top 7. I'll be in Newcastle over xmas but I won't get to the stoke game.

Nice to see you back. Have a great christmas.

Hi ZOC,

1. all these things are happening without and doer but the 'superego' as I call it is sittting up there thinking he's the CEO of Body-mind corporation. He thinks that all this is happening within him. I am not thinking, I am not doing, I am not managing. Who/what is this I that does not manage anything, who claims ownership over the not doing?!

2. Probably related to point 1, and maybe it is the same thing actually, is the perception of individual experience that makes it feel personal. It is like being the container of this individual experience. It’s a familiar suit, this fixed position, where life is experienced and sensed. Whatever ‘me’ is it feels like there is something that is bound to this body-mind. There are often things I don’t like such as nasty emotions or cynical thoughts. So it feels like there is a me that is subject to conditioning and ways of thinking that ‘I’ am bound to. I am the container of subjective and objective experience. I don’t know what that ‘thing’ is, but I am alive and aware and bound to this body-mind, and so it feels like whatever that thing is that is behind it all is thing the thing that I am. It's what makes the experience feel separate rather than all one life flowing freely.

Habit. That's all. No biggie. Just let it fall.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9m99IX6kns

I wanted to find the peace amidst the chaos of human experience :)

Peace and chaos are both judgements/interpretations on top of the rolling mystery outside any category.

With best wishes and a Happy Christmas! :D
John

Have fun!
John

Ive found since I've started this ive resonated with a lot of what adyashanti described of the awakening process. That is, pretty much failing at everything to try and awaken. What is the typical process after liberation with the people who go through the gate here? I ask because I wonder if the inquiry here is aimed at accelerating that process or getting to the starting line.

Hi ZOC,

Ive found since I've started this ive resonated with a lot of what adyashanti described of the awakening process. That is, pretty much failing at everything to try and awaken. What is the typical process after liberation with the people who go through the gate here? I ask because I wonder if the inquiry here is aimed at accelerating that process or getting to the starting line.

Have no idea what Adya's teaching is, but giving up without giving up is a good start.

There is no process here. Just looking to see what is.

Happy Xmas,
John