Hello!

[Anastacia42]

Good.

So, here is a pointer that may force you to look, not think:

ButtChair

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?


It is simple direct & nonverbal. Just LOOK.

Then write what is true.

I did only this and nothing else for 3 months and then saw. It crept up on me while I was sitting at a stoplight. Seeing often happens when we are simply relaxed and looking. I should say, it ONLY happens when we are relaxed and LOOKING.

All of this thinking is useless. Truly.

Loving

[Sano]

Hi Stacy - been doing the looking exercise a lot since you sent it and reading through the blog post again and again and again. There is a lot of frustration, anger, sadness, coming up and for some reason I dont understand queasiness. have been looking for months, prompted by other teachers I've listened to, and these feelings come up repeatedly, particularly queasiness when I look at objects - I sometimes look so long I swear I can see movement - and then begin to feel quesy and have to stop. Is this normal??

So to your exercise

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?

No there is no clear dividing line. Just sensation. The weight of my body on the chair. The feeling of the chair taking my weight. The back of the chair against my back. But these are descriptions. Informed by sight and exerience. There is just a Dense sensation at the point where butt and back and chair meets. But just one sensation.

[Anastacia42]

Yes, lots of fears & feelings can come up.

Let's look into the fears.

First, 2 videos from Ilona:

There is a Direct Looking process for fear.

https://youtu.be/jKX1llYtlKE?si=jHXuuyyVtp7c-1R2

And this one:

https://youtu.be/fSTT8nc8cvQ?si=Alcukpbi7SUlXpfi


Then this:

Here is an anxiety exercise that focuses a person in the present, and in a part of the brain that cannot do anxiety. Basically, go through each sense and say (or think) "I see/ hear/ feel/ taste/ touch ______________." A minute or two of each and usually anxiety is gone.

I see the couch.
I see the keyboard.
I see the glass. Etc.

I hear the train.
I hear the keys clacking.
I hear my breath. Etc.

I feel the couch under my butt.
I feel my fingers on the keys.
I feel the cold air. Etc.

I taste a metallic taste in my mouth.
I taste the coffee.
I taste the food. Etc.

I smell the humidity in the air.
I smell my husband's shampoo.
I smell the soap. Etc.

As far as I can tell, the only time this doesn't work is when someone won't do it.

Tell me what comes up with these for your fears.

Loving,

[Sano]

Thanks a million Stacy. Those videos are great and really help. The exercise is great too - when I can focus on the senses in the moment and what is actually going on, anxiety and fear are much less present though I feel it at the edge of experience, feelings in the stomach and chest areas and thoughts seeking attention - I will work on this more tomorrow and 'looking' - when i 'look' I feel like there is something very obvious I'm missing, like an anticipation thats really hard to describe, which is part of what contributes to the anger, frustration- I feel its right there, right here, very close - and then the queasiness comes up. I'll keep at it.

[Anastacia42]

Yes, keep looking. You're doing great.

Do SEE any separate "self" with your eyes?

Loving,

[Sano]

Hi Stacy - thanks a million for your continuing support. I've been a bit under the weather today, think I'm coming down with a bug or something, so didn't have energy for much - but your question hit something

Do SEE any separate "self" with your eyes?

When I look I see the room around me, clothes, usual mess, blankets, bed, my body stretched out before me, me tapping on the phone. The body suggests a self - but yet, what I actually see is one vista where everything is appearing together, like one whole image that the mind attempts to separate out - but when I feel into sensations they are not separate to what surrounds them - my body on the bed is one with the bed, I can't feel a point of separation. I have to imagine that - shit! This is really weird. I feel like a shift is happening - doubt is still there though. That's where I'm stumbling - I'll keep working on this - I really feel there is something changing.

Thank you. 🙏🥹

[Anastacia42]

Sounds like you're getting clear.

Did I share Perinilla's videos about doubt?

Those are helpful.

Loving

[Sano]

Thanks Stacy - yes I've watched Pernille's videos on doubt and also the interview she did with Todd on that which is great - I'll go back to those again and rewatch - working on stabilising all this, slipping in and out of seeing as life continues - I'm not there yet but getting clearer.

Thank you! 🙏

[Anastacia42]

Okay.

Have you seen these? It doesn't exactly "stabilize." It's more lather, rinse, repeat.

Watch these, please:

https://youtu.be/vJQcD588g2w

and

https://youtu.be/PUDzrCLlrj4

This is just a beginning.

Loving,

[Sano]

Thanks Stacy - I'll watch those tomorrow and post responses - rewatched the doubt videos from Pernille and Todd today - amazing what I missed the last time after your guidance over the past few weeks, the body yes, body no, practice seems particularly important. I'm not there yet but trying to stay body focused as much as possible, to listen to what sensations are telling me.

Thanks! 🙏

[Anastacia42]

That all sounds good. Remember to post here what is going on.

Loving,

[Sano]

Hi Stacy - just watched those videos - thanks a million for sharing, they are great. I know exactly what they are saying re the moving in and out of looking, recognising, embodying this shift. I had actually watched them before but this time it was somehow different - like the doubt videos I'm noticing more things. There is definitely a shift happening - it's not earth shattering or whatever (as I've heard others describe it) but more gradual, I suppose I've been moving in this direction for so long a lot of groundwork has been done. Centrally, I'm seeing beyond the separate self and realising a very different conception of 'identity' (if I can call it that) which is bound up with everything that is going on around me, the sounds, sights, sensations, smells- somehow it feels like I've always known this - and it is so simple, so obvious, too obvious - like right now I'm sitting in a restaurant and I am fully immersed in all the sounds, sights, smells around me - but also on the level sensations - like these are all happening on the same plane, simultaneously. I really feel i am finally realising this (again) - thank you SO much for all your help and support on this journey 🙏❤️

[Anastacia42]

That's great.

Yes, just let it settle.

Tell me when you can say 100% that there is no separate self. At that point, we have some checkpoint questions. Other guides will read the replies to make sure we haven't missed anything.

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

That sounds great

Just let it settle.

Tell me when you can say 100% that there is no separate self.

At that point, we have some checkpoint questions. Other guides will read your replies to make sure we have this anything.

Loving,

[Sano]

Thanks Stacy - difficult to say 100% (is that possible?) - in asking that question

can I say 100% that there is no separate self.

the mind jumps in with the usual doubts - immediate reactions to things that happen that clearly are conditioning but also reveal the sense of separate self still continues, though there is an awareness that follows very soon - like yesterday evening my daughter came home very upset and crying after been the only girl left out of a football game she had travelled to and was invited to play in and I phoned the manager in anger to complain and could barely speak I was so upset because she was so upset - sorry! Too much information - the point is the physical embodied emotional reaction to that made clear to me that I have things to work through - but there was also an awareness of what was going in as it was happening, an awareness that it was just life, that this is exactly what was meant to be, and it couldn't have been any other way. And the pointlessness in trying to make sense of it all.
What I can say for sure is that there has been a shift and realisation that what 'I' am is not bound up or constricted within this separate body/mind - it is intimate with every sound, sight, small, taste, and sensation - beyond intimate. Just this.

Thank you. 🙏❤️