The Gate

Good & very detailed.

Check your gut. What is felt there?

Loving,

Check your gut. What is felt there?

contraction

Yes. The lie/no feeling.

Pay attention to that and to any opposite of expansion that you may feel at times.

Let's bring some of this together.

Actual/Direct Experience - Apple

Have a look at an apple (or any fruit you like.) If you have a ‘real’ apple, you can use it for this exercise. Google for a picture of an apple.



When looking at an apple, there's color; a thought saying ‘apple’; and maybe a thought saying, "I'm looking at an apple."

What is known for sure? Color is known and thoughts are known.

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

Actual experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something…because that is only just more thought.

Actual experience is sound, thought, color, smell, taste, sensation and the fact of thought arising, but not its content.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT can't be found in actual experience.

This is what is meant by "looking in actual experience." What you know for sure, and, is always here.

Taste labeled ‘apple’ is known
Color labeled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labeled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labeled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known

However, is an apple actually known?

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

Loving

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

only color and thought About what people have agreed to call an apple

However, is an apple actually known?

No, no one knows what an apple is without the label. There is taste, color, scent, and texture when one touch what is called an apple, but one cannot know what it is (an apple). When the taste is not labeled, it becomes a sensory movement that constantly changes. The same applies to all sensory perceptions; they move spontaneously and cannot be categorized as "scent," "colors," etc. So, in the concrete experience of an "apple," you do not know what you are looking at. The experience is alive and constantly changing.

You skipped half the questions.

But from what you have written, I can now ask you whether you see how "self" is just like that "apple?"

The experience is alive and constantly changing.

We made up the label. The apple has more "reality" than any "self" does.

Can you see that? If so how does it FEEL to see that?

Loving,

Can you see that? If so how does it FEEL to see that?

No, I don't see it clearly yet, 'I' still feels very real

No, I don't see it clearly yet, 'I' still feels very real

Okay. You are just believing in a lie, a thought. "Self" is a made up thought. Nothing there.

It is like Santa Claus. Once you have seen that it is just a man in a red suit, you can see all the red-suited men you want and you are not ever fooled again. You know better.

Where exactly in your body is the "feeling?" Is it tight like the lie feeling?

Try this:

Explore ‘Sense of Self'

Let’s say that you have lost your keys and you swear that you left them in your coat. You go to look and check all the pockets - the keys are not there. You swear they must be as that was the last place you remember them. You have a vivid memory of putting them there after you left the house. But when you check they are not there. At this point you can keep believing that the keys are in your pocket, or you can admit you were mistaken.

This is just like that. You may see clearly that the self is an illusion but still feel a sense of self - just like the keys. But feeling something to be true and seeing that it is or is not is different. This is why we may find ourselves coming back to your expectations at the start and at the end.

Now, I’d like to ask you to explore this SENSE of self very-very thoroughly. Not by thinking about it, but by FEELING it. Keep the focus of attention on the sense of self and inquire:

Does the sense of self have a location?

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

What is found?

Loving,

Does the sense of self have a location?

No, it feels so real, but there is no place in the body where you can find it, and yet it is there as soon as you stop looking for i

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

When I ask myself the question, it becomes very quiet in my thinking, it is a good question

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

No, I feel the same effect when I ask this question. It becomes very quiet, and the awareness of the senses emerges.

If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?

He does it like an old, demented person sitting in a wheelchair in a nursing home, shouting incoherent things all day, without any connection to reality

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

It refers through images and inner sound to accumulated abstractions and memories, as well as assumptions. It projects an image of myself but a lump of reflection of the person I think I am, it is still very sticky, like syrup that is stuck to the body

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

For me, it is made of tension in the body, an image of myself (as I looked when I was 20 years old), and inner talk/sound

What is found?

I gave myself time to deeply feel the effects these questions have had, and they have, in a way, melted the experience of the self, as one can see how it arises through the play of images, sound, and tension.

He does it like an old, demented person sitting in a wheelchair in a nursing home, shouting incoherent things all day, without any connection to reality

You made me laugh!

it is made of tension in the body, an image of myself

Tension = the lie feeling
Image = thought

That's all.

I gave myself time to deeply feel the effects these questions have had, and they have, in a way, melted the experience of the self, as one can see how it arises through the play of images, sound, and tension.

That is great. Notice how it FEELS. It is likely you will feel expansion, lightness, the truth feeling.


So, here is a pointer that may force you to look, not think:

ButtChair

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?


It is simple direct & nonverbal. Just LOOK.

Then write what is true.

I did only this and nothing else for 3 months and then saw. It crept up on me while I was sitting at a stoplight. Seeing often happens when we are simply relaxed and looking. I should say, it ONLY happens when we are relaxed and LOOKING. All of this thinking is useless. Truly.

Loving,

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?

There is no clear separation, there is only a sensation, it is not even clear whether this session belongs to the body, if one focuses on this sensation without thinking. It is a very good exercise, very deconstructive.

Excellent. Just keep doing it. Stay relaxed.

Report here each day.

Say what is true & how it FEELS to see.

Loving,

I continue to perform this exercise/observation several times a day. It is not always possible to go deep with it, but gradually it becomes more automatic to scan the body for contact points with the outer world and enter this sensing, which develops like a cloud. This simultaneously has an effect on the way one experiences the whole body and the visual field. The body becomes lighter, almost floating in the air, and the visual area becomes broader, so it includes the body within it. Sounds appear as a texture, not as content. There is also a relaxation in the body, something happens with the breathing, and small muscles in the face begin to tense and relax. It becomes very pleasant to experience each sense individually, without any connection between them. It is still confusing, but I can clearly see how it is the collaboration between all these senses, and the inner images and inner voice that create a hologram of "I".

Yes. We will never know how it all works. It us a mystery.

Keep LOOKING

There are many direct experience words in your description but there's still a lot of thinking. Try to ignore the thinking.

Loving,

Today, I have noticed contact surfaces in various situations throughout the day, while driving, walking, sitting on a chair, etc. It is becoming more and more natural to perform, it almost happens by itself. I feel the contact surface with my feet on the accelerator and brake, the contact surface is not where my legs end, and the area where one senses becomes more and more diffuse and difficult to locate in space. In fact, the space becomes harder to relate to as something that has volume, the different shapes seem more and more flat. Suddenly, a question also arose, "who is experiencing this?" and it was a strange experience. Suddenly, there was an extreme curiosity and a sense that it is the most important thing in the world to continue and look into the space that has been created with this question, but it disappeared quite quickly.

Throughout all these days, I have observed the tactile sense, the pressure on my buttocks as I sat down, the pressure on my feet as I walked, then the touch of the air on my face, sensations from inside my body, as well as images and pictures that came as thoughts and these body parts - it was easy to deconstruct these thoughts and focus only on the sensations, pressure in different places