Hi Jenn
There is a thought that if I didn’t look into or question my perception that maybe it wouldn’t have happened.
Did you use your eyes to look? How exactly did you look? Do you own perceptions? Did you form these in the first place? Are you in charge of changing them for the better? … OR thought is pretty much self-organised? Stories might take years to be checked and discarded. It could a very quick or really slow process.
Is this somehow in your control? “Clarity” is a state, not an attribute of THIS. “Clarity” might simply mean that thoughts describe DE instead of creating stories.
Drop every explanation, every label, every idea of who’s looking or why. Just look,
what is it that is separate from what is, and trying to figure out how things are?
Is there a self or me here, who is separate and isolated from what is, from reality, and thus is in need to understand reality and fix it?
What is here, right now, before anything is named?
There’s sound, colour, sensation.
Yes?
Is any of it called “emotion,” “tension,” “sadness,” until thought slaps a name on it?
Let a sensation come. Don’t name it. Don’t go to the story. Stay with the raw feel. Ask:
Where is the boundary of this sensation?
What shape does it have—before thought defines it?
Can it last? Or is it flickering, shifting, dissolving?
Does it say “this is trauma”? Or is that just thought appearing afterward?
Look without needing to find.
Let the experience reveal itself before “you” step in.
What’s here now, without the one “doing the looking”?
I can not find anyone. However the last few days things happening at work feel very personal. I know this is a story and thought. I try to drop into the direct experience and am finding I am very identified with thought. I know these insights and situations provide fuel for insights.
Yes, Jenn. You saw it …
But who tries?
Just look.
Is “trying” anything more than a thought arising with tension?
Can you find a doer who chooses between identification and dropping in—or just the experience of thought, sensation, contraction, and narrative looping?
This feeling that things are “very personal”—
is that felt in sensation, or just believed in thought?
Noticing of DE happens and noticing of thought content happens.
Do you control the noticing? Can you speed it up with some practices that you would do? That is the “seeker’s” problem – they are never happy with what
IS, it has to be improved somehow, non-stop bliss and happiness. They want enlightenment RIGHT NOW :)) To “improve” suggest that there is something wrong with it, like it can be different than what it
IS.
But can it be in a different way than it is now, perfect? Also that suggests there is a doer who makes things happen, does practices, etc.
Can you find such doer, practitioner?
Faults and flaws in THIS can be found only in thoughts which, define THIS as “positive or negative”, to be desired or avoided.
Surrendering is what is left when resistance to what IS ends.
Resistance and
surrendering are the two sides of the coin. When you/thoughts get that they cannot control the outcome of THIS in any way, that THIS will happen the way it happens, with or without your approval, surrendering happens. In that surrendering there is peace and happiness, which is ironic, because resistance has sought this for eternity :)))
Look:
Where does the weight come from—direct experience, or storytelling?
Now to your question:
Side question, are you aware of anyone who works with the emotional part? Like realizing that I have lived experiencing the world through a filter that isn’t reality.
Yes, there are those who point into the emotional body—but beware the mind’s move to “emotions as a separate realm.” It is so easy for this to slip into
self-help.
Are you looking for freedom from unwanted feelings? If so, it’s not how it works. The freedom is to experience all – the good, the bad, and the ugly - without judgement that it’s wrong. The key is to realize that should’s and should not’s are the very things that make for a distorted view.
This entire story of “trauma,” “filter,” “emotional wounds,” is only ever a
thought +
sensation, labelled. There is no past to fix. No inner child to heal. No wound to resolve.
Just this, right now:
What is the actual difference between a “triggered emotion” and a sensation appearing with a story attached?
Can you find the emotion apart from the label?
Want to look there now?
So yes, every “situation” is an opportunity to really “look” and relabel, and just experience fully. Once the story is seen as
just a story it can be taken lightly; it can be entertaining and fun, as well as serious when a situation asks for seriousness. Ultimately, fear and resistance are sensations that prevent us from going into another sensation. Sensations are not to be feared; they are here to be experienced. And even if they are uncomfortable, they add a richness and juiciness to life.
Do you want to explore control, choice and decision making more deeply? Do you maybe want to explore specific "emotion" together?
Love
Rali
“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in.”
― Alan Alda
"The moment I am aware that I am aware I am not aware. Awareness means the observer is not"
― Jiddu Krishnamurti
