Looking for a guide :)

[Elad]

Hi Matan,

Thanks for your message. First of all, really take your time, and focus on what you need emotionally.

Second, when I hear you talk of analyzing, it is clear that there is still a need to recognize the nature of this work. It is not analyzing and efforting. That doesn't work. The nature is becoming aware of what easily and naturally is seen, felt. On a level more basic then conceptual thinking. I think you have heard something to this effect before, and also glimpsed it, so if mind returns to analyzing and efforting, it is really it's way of trying to hold on. Which might mean that emotional issues/trauma issues might need to be dealt with therapeutically, before you feel safe enough to see what you see and feel what you feel. Possibly also the war here is playing into that.

For now, just keep it simple. Just take short moments, once in a while, whenever you feel like it, just letting go for a second and noticing what is all ready there. Without trying to figure anything out or change anything or get anything. Just see what is and what happens. Many times. No goal, no pressure. And it's not supposed to feel in any particular way or have any particular kind of flavor. Just exactly as is. And write me about it when you want.

Also, there is this youtube channel "The Awakening Curriculum". It's a pretty gentle approach to awakening, compatible with what we do here. And Pernille and Todd who run it (and both are also associated with Liberation Unleashed) do a lot to help with the psychological challenges around this. If you feel like it, check it out.

Take care of yourself, and talk to me when you want :)

Hag sameach

[matanz]

Hey Elad, thanks.

I have an practice I've been doing in the last few weeks, every day sitting for 10-15 min (I don't even count) and giving attention to the emotions felt in the stomach. after a while it seems to change and come up sort of through the throat, it feels like dryness or some sensation. It really does help to process the emotions.

What already is there is pretty easy to point out. there are sensations everywhere (body - breath, touch, existence etc), there are thoughts that come and go, there are feelings, and the senses which are kinda like sensations.

Usually the thoughts have a certain flavor, a certain sensation or feeling. Im not sure what comes first, sometimes this sometimes that.

[Elad]

Hi Matan,

All this sounds good! I am giving you lots of space, inquiry into the (non-) existence of the separate self should come from a place of "true inner calling" and feeling it is the right time/timing for it.

I am here whenever happens in this inquiry, that you want to share. Or if questions come up that you want to ask.

[matanz]

Hi Matan,

All this sounds good! I am giving you lots of space, inquiry into the (non-) existence of the separate self should come from a place of "true inner calling" and feeling it is the right time/timing for it.

I am here whenever happens in this inquiry, that you want to share. Or if questions come up that you want to ask.

Thanks Elad. What do you think should be my main inquiry pointer? Who am I?

There's an uncertainty, unclear what to do. But I know it's not really a doing too which adds to the confusion.

Also, still suffering strongly. Sense of separation is still there.

[Elad]

Hi Matan, given that you suffer a lot, I recommend a gentle approach.

1) Keep working with emotion as you do.

2) Maybe start watching The Awakening Curriculum" on YouTube, it's a mild approach, and psychologically sensitive.

3) When you feel inspired to direct inquiry, look what is controlling things:

- what thinks the thoughts?
- what chooses the feelings?
- what controls the actions?
- what is seeing, hearing, sensing?

Keep noticing the way that things spontaneously arise and dissolve, also things like choices, resistance, thoughts about doubt and failure or dissatisfaction, self believes and self judgements. Just notice the way it spontanous without control. Just do it lightly as many times during the day as feels natural.

Remember not to explore in the mind (thinking about it) but to explore in reality (just paying attention in the present moment to what actually obviously is, what actually obviously happens). Enjoy the small shifts and small moments of clarity, don't aim for something big, just enjoy every small moment of clarity. Short moments, many times.

If it feels uncomfortable, you can explore the discomfort. If it is very uncomfortable maybe just take breaks. Again keep it a light approach.

I recommend balancing this with down to earth and grounding positive activities: physical exercise, dance, loving social/relational activity, yoga/chi gong, being in nature, doing enjoyable stuff, resting, taking care of things that need taking care of, etc etc.

Write me again when you feel like it.

[Elad]

Dear guidees,

I will be taking a month of vacation, including from guiding, from May 26th to June 27th. You might want to use the time until May 26th to inquire with great wholeheartedness and beginners mind, maybe "the Gateless Gate will be passed". You might also want to update both of us on where you are in the process, and what is experienced as your wishes and needs now, if any - happy to hear from you before I leave. If during my vacation you feel a need to be supported by an LU guide, two of my trusted fellow guides will be available. During that period, contacting them might also be an opportunity to the get a different input - we never know what input, what energy, will suddenly make what is clear clear.

Fellow guides:

Alan: alan.home.mailbox@gmail.com
Becca: becca@supportedawakening.com

🙏