Morning Sharon
Answer questions? Ok
Share doubts? Ok
I just want to say ok to whatever comes up. Right now there is a lot of back pain and exhaustion. Ok.
I struggle with the word ok, because for me it has an implication of fine or good. If, however, you are using it to indicate acceptance then yay, that works.
So the doubts are thoughts such as - no you have not seen through self bc nothing is different. But I know there is no expectation of a dramatic shift. Then thoughts about noticing that things are calmer. I still react but it is quick and not held onto.
A zen saying -
Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.
After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.
What was happening before seeing through self is still happening. As you have said you are calmer, reactions are not as prolonged or held onto. It would have been nice if after seeing through self there was a shimmering nirvana of endless bliss and all our needs were endlessly met, I know I has delusions along those lines.
My guide said to me, after I'd said I felt more peaceful, would that be enough if that's all there is. I wanted more (which is the whole problem to begin with) but peaceful was a much better place than where I started.
Nobody knows what the shift will be for you or what effect it will have.
Doubts about losing my opportunity for guidance here on the forum if I haven't truly seen through the illusion. Then I'll never have the chance again blah blah blah.
At least this is one I can give a straight plain answer to -
You will not lose any opportunity. Not only can you contact me anytime, you will have access on the forum to other guides and people who have been through this.
There's a group you might like to try. It's a bunch of people talking to guides in a zoom meeting -
Mondays 06:00 AM Canberra, Melbourne, Sydney time
Please note that it's always the same time on the same link
You can convert time zones here; dateful.com
Click here to Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86991485768?p ... 12Um5DQT09
Meeting ID: 869 9148 5768
Passcode: 083035
There is almost an apathy about it really. Like its ok either way.
When experiences don't match up to our expectations, is it the experience thats wrong?
There is a thought that maybe I had already started to see through the illusion a long time ago and that is why it has not been a dramatic shift.
This could be true, but its also the case that for most people the shift is more an 'oh' than a 'wow'.
I keep having this thought that i don't know what else to say about any of this. Maybe i'm just really tired.
Thoughts and words get in the way and because of the effort we put in the process can be exhausting. Steps don't have to be big, just in the right direction.
❤️🖖