The Gate

Thank you very very much! I listened to the introduction and a couple of the meditation recordings before arriving and it helped a lot during the retreat. We were doing a dyad practice and samantha felt very close to a realization before the bell rang.

While inquiring on the exercises below today there was lightness and expansion felt in the body.

Does the sense of self have a location?

No the sense of self does not have a location

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

The sense of self does not have a shape or size

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

The sense of self does not say or communicate anything

If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?

It does not

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

The sense of self does not have any characteristics or attributes

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

The sense of self is not made of an image, sound, taste, smell, sensation or thought.

What is found?

There is no samantha, sense or self, that can be found. It’s just a story. There is only an awareness of image, sound, taste, smell , sensation and thought.

Good, except for one thing:

Sense of self is just the content of thought. How could you know of it without thought?

lightness and expansion felt in the body.

Yes, that is part of what we are looking for.

Can you say 100% there is no separate self?

How does it FEEL to see there is no self?

Loving,

Hi there,

Sense of self is just the content of thought. How could you know of it without thought?

If the sense of self is just the content of thought, there would be no way to know of it without thought. However, looking back, I think I was doing the exercise differently. I was trying to find the real me, not really samantha "sense of self", like behind all of the senses, what am I?

Can you say 100% there is no separate self?

There is no separate self, though there is still doubt when identified with the character which is the majority of the time

How does it FEEL to see there is no self?

there is a bit of a block right now from getting to the light and expansive feeling felt in the body before. It felt clear and whole. The character needs more time to get back to this "place"

I was trying to find the real me, not really samantha "sense of self", like behind all of the senses, what am I?

That's what we point to here. There is no "real you."

"You" only exist in thought.

LOOK & you will see this.

Just like "apple" there is only a label. a thought many thoughts.

How are you doing with the Dropbox pointers?

Loving,

Yes, I see. There is no real "me". It's just thoughts and conditioning. I was listening to the pointers at work, pointer's you;ve provided, and llona's pointers on youtube as well. Observations: there is just body and mind, the actions are just happening, when the body felt thirsty, it grabbed a drink, there was no manager that made the decision, it almost felt like the body and mind were just doing without a doer. The thoughts of me is fiction. The sensations I thought were "me", were never me. There is no-one there. Life is just happening. Even when driving back home today, it's like there was nobody driving in the car in front of "me", life was just happening, the cars were slowing down and the body pressed the brakes to slow down.

How does it FEEL to see there is no self?

when seeing it today, the character laughed, sensations in the heart and solar plexuses, energy was felt in the body,

interpretation: a feeling of apart of everything, nothing missing, completeness, wholeness and love, yet at the same time nothing, empty-ish.

there is a back and forth because there is an opening but then when heavy concentration is needed on a task, the feeling is lost and the character feels a need to begin again or remember.

How are you doing with the Dropbox pointers?

I listened today at work up to perceiving and receiving today and the day of the meditation retreat. Will be diving this evening as well.

There is no-one there. Life is just happening.

Samantha, this is great.

You're right - no one doing.

When you're ready, we have some "final" questions.

Take your time.

Loving,

Still there?

Yes! Thank you for your patience and your time 🙏

I am ready for the final questions :)

Here they are. These will be shared with other guides who may have questions We're looking for a very clear shift in your perspective & experience.


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Loving,

Hy Stacey! This has not been forgotten, "i" will send a response later tomorrow night. thank you!

When you can.

Here we go!

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No, there is no separate entity ‘self’, ‘me’ ‘I’ at all anywhere. There never was.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of separate self is believing that we are the sensations, thoughts/stories, the seer, the doer, and the thinker. It starts with believing there is an “I,” an individual, a separate “self” that is experiencing the world. It’s the belief that “I” am making life happen, but life is just happening; thought is just happening. When the mind believes the thoughts, the stories, and the little “I,” it creates suffering. It is wasteful and takes away from what actually is. There is only awareness of it all.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

Liberating (interpretation), more open and expansive, more energy in the heart center. More openness to just let things be and enjoy the ride. Before, there was contraction, fear; the idea of no “self” was scary, but it’s liberating now.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

It was an unfolding, truth unfolding in the moment as it needed to.

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

There is no decision maker; a decision is based on conditioning and thought. It’s based on past “consequences,” life experiences from the story. There is no decision being made.

Examples: Coffee or tea? Samantha will choose coffee. There is no one choosing, but it happens. Or when thirst is felt, the body picks up the coffee, but there is nobody there making the decision. A decision is a thought, an illusion of decision, and acting on a thought that Samantha will choose coffee.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Intention comes from past conditioning to avoid suffering and as a way for “self” protection. There are no intentions. There is no one making intentions. An intention is a thought and part of a story.

Example: The intention now is to eat healthy (now there is a thought in the mind and an image of Samantha making an intention), but she is not real.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

There is no free will—life is just happening. Free will is just an illusion as there is no doer.

Example: Choosing not to have kids gives the illusion of choice and free will, but it is just a thought, conditioning, and just a story created that Samantha will not have kids.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

There is no choice as there is no decision maker. Choice is thought.

Example: Buying eco-friendly products because it’s the right thing to do—just a thought, an image of Samantha making the right choice. It’s just a thought.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

There is no control as there is no controller, just a thought, image of control, and story of control.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

Life happens. I don’t know how it works. It’s just life life-ing.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Samantha is fiction, and there is no one there to take responsibility. It’s just a story, a thought of Samantha taking responsibility, but she is fiction. There is an illusion of responsibility. Life is just unfolding.

6) Anything to add?

Thank you so much 🙏

Great. Your answers will be shared with other guides, who may have questions.

Watch this space. It may take a few days.

Loving

Hi Stacy!

I am just following up on this! :)

Thank you! I'll get back to you.