Ready to understand

[Anastacia42]

Can you say 100% that there's no separate "self?"

Loving

[sunnyone]

I feel that so deeply. Yes.

[Anastacia42]

Excellently.





1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?



Please reply to one question at a time. your responses will be shown to other guides who may have questions

Loving

[Anastacia42]

Excellently.





1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?



Please reply to one question at a time. your responses will be shown to other guides who may have questions

Loving

[sunnyone]

Dear Stacy, Okay here goes :)

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

There is not. There has never been one, just conditioning. This whole thing is life....living itself. This is seamless and I feel it.

[sunnyone]

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

Well, it started when I was a toddler, learning that 'I' am over here and 'that' or Mom or Dad is not me. No wonder we throw tantrums, my goodness how painful that must have been. The way that it works in my experience is that it accrues preferences and distaste for things based on experience, with an increasing sense of danger and fear as life continues. Slights and praise are remembered and this calcified personhood becomes more and more rigid. 'My' things are things I wish to keep, there is so much to lose, etc."I would die for my beliefs", etc.

Life in this position is so transactional - what will you do for 'me'? How far can I get? I feel like all of the goals and dreams are born of our culture in particular and that grace is the tiniest wiggle that suggests there is possibly something else going on.

[Anastacia42]

So far, so good.

Be careful not to give thoughts & philosophy. Write what is true.

Loving,

[sunnyone]

More tomorrow evening , thank you for the guidance

[sunnyone]

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It feels normal and spacious, it feels like returning, it feels easier than most things have ever felt: there is nothing to defend, no hill to die on. When I started the dialogue I felt this, too after seeing through while reading Gateless Gatecrashers, but the reiteration or re-seeing is really something. I was driving home today and there was a car tailing me - normally that would send me into worry, but I just....trusted. Not that everything is alright or that 'I' will be fine, but just that THIS is what IS. The feeling of everything being personal is leaving. I feel life.

[sunnyone]

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

In meditation several days ago I had a rush of energy through the perceived body spine and thoughts subsided for a while. The heart area was buzzing. This was after several days of doing the 'palm up palm down' exercise and a long silent retreat that I was finishing. Hearing continued to hear, sensing to sense...but there was not an 'I' that was hearing or sensing, just experiences happening in experience. It was like a reiteration of the seeing through when I was reading the book, a deepening.

[sunnyone]

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Decision as I would have defined it is to choose between options, but now I would say that there is no actual decision as that would require a decider. Preference arises, independent of a 'me' and the decision is made. I never did anything, deciding happened. When I am talking with my husband, I am not deciding each word I will say; the words come and they are said.

[sunnyone]

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

I cannot seem to describe this. Every example I could give from experience would erroneously assuming that I could intend something. Things happen. The self story would want to push things toward an 'intended' goal, but I see clearly that this is impossible.

[sunnyone]

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Free will is the idea that one lives and decides as an independent entity and I am laughing as I write this. The one who decides, intends, etc and can affect the outcome of life itself, as though there were points on any kind of continuum. I cannot give examples from my experience, because there is nothing called 'free will' that is had here.

[sunnyone]

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

same as before, choice would be someone independently choosing between options. There is not an independent person to choose. Choosing happens.

[sunnyone]

Describe control & give examples from experience.

Control would be the idea that a dependent person could affect the outcome of scenarios. There is no one to control, no control to be had.