Freedom

[Equanimity99]

Yes. So what are you in control of in life?

Is there something?

Look and try to find something, anything :)

No, there is no control, nothing that can be controlled, and no one to control anything.

[Bluejay]

Okay :)

Let’s say that you have lost your keys and you swear that you left them in your coat. You go to look and check all the pockets - the keys are not there.

You swear they must be as that was the last place you remember them. You have a vivid memory of putting them there after you left the house. But when you check they are not there. At this point you can keep believing that the keys are in your pocket, or you can admit you were mistaken.

This is just like that. You may see clearly that the self is an illusion but still might feel a sense of self - just like the keys. But feeling something to be true and seeing that it is or is not is different. This is why we may find ourselves coming back to your expectations at the start and at the end.

Now, I’d like to ask you to explore this sense of self very-very thoroughly. Not by thinking about it, but by feeling it. Keep the focus of attention on the sense of self and inquire:

Does the sense of self have a location?

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

What is found?

[Equanimity99]

Now, I’d like to ask you to explore this sense of self very-very thoroughly. Not by thinking about it, but by feeling it. Keep the focus of attention on the sense of self and inquire:

Does the sense of self have a location?

No, not that I can find or see.

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

No

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

No

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

No

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

It seems like an idea or a belief or thoughts.

What is found?

What felt like a sense of self is nothing but a belief (thoughts).

[Bluejay]

It seems like an idea or a belief or thoughts.

"Seems like" usually means thinking, so can you look closer. What kind of a belief or thought is it? Does it say something? Does it refer to something to make itself seem real?

And during everyday life, is there somewhere where you feel like a self that is doing, thinking, witnessing, feeling, controlling life?

[Equanimity99]

"Seems like" usually means thinking, so can you look closer. What kind of a belief or thought is it? Does it say something? Does it refer to something to make itself seem real?

It is an old Santa Clause story, a habitual thought pattern, a learned belief. When I look I see there is nothing there.

And during everyday life, is there somewhere where you feel like a self that is doing, thinking, witnessing, feeling, controlling life?

Now this is the issue. I feel in the day-to-day comings and goings of life like a self that is doing, thinking etc but when I really stop and look I find nothing/no one there. Just thoughts, sensations etc.

[Bluejay]

Now this is the issue. I feel in the day-to-day comings and goings of life like a self that is doing, thinking etc but when I really stop and look I find nothing/no one there. Just thoughts, sensations etc.

Can you share three moments when there is a strong sense of self?

Then with each moment, write down the building blocks required to build that sense of self.

The building blocks are the 5 physical senses (sensation, sound, image, smell, taste) + thought.

[Equanimity99]

Can you share three moments when there is a strong sense of self?

Then with each moment, write down the building blocks required to build that sense of self.

The building blocks are the 5 physical senses (sensation, sound, image, smell, taste) + thought.

Help with arrangements re care for my mother
Image, sensation and thought (writing letter + thoughts re planning)

Preparing food
Sensation, smell, taste, image + thought

Meeting up with friends
Sensation, sound, image + thought

[Equanimity99]

Can you share three moments when there is a strong sense of self?

Then with each moment, write down the building blocks required to build that sense of self.

The building blocks are the 5 physical senses (sensation, sound, image, smell, taste) + thought.

Help with arrangements re care for my mother
Image, sensation and thought (writing letter + thoughts re planning)

Preparing food
Sensation, smell, taste, image + thought

Meeting up with friends
Sensation, sound, image + thought

[Bluejay]

Excellent.

Now watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwAVOYVMac

Go through the process in general with the video, then come back and apply it to the three moments you wrote above.

Write out your process of how you did it and what happened.

[Equanimity99]

Now watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwAVOYVMac
Go through the process in general with the video, then come back and apply it to the three moments you wrote above.
Write out your process of how you did it and what happened.

Help with arrangements re care for my mother
[Thoughts (Pics and words), feelings, sensation]
What feels like a separate self?

Sensation or emotion in the body –
Concern - Is that energy it? No
Frustration - Is that energy it? No
Fear - Is that energy it? No

Pictures -
Righteous person - Is that it? No

Words -
responsible person - Is that it? No
my duty - Is that it? No
doing the right thing - Is that it? No
planner - Is that it? No

Preparing food
[Thoughts (Pics and words), feelings, sensation]
What feels like a separate self?

Sensation or emotion in the body -
Hunger - Is that energy it? No
Looking forward to a good meal
Is that it? No
Smelling good aromas - Is that it? No
Tasting nice flavours - Is that it? No

Pictures -
Seeing a person making a good meal
Is that it? No

Words
Being creative - Is that it? No
Planner - Is that it? No

Meeting up with friends
[Thoughts (Pics and words), feelings, sensation]
What feels like a separate self?

Sensation or emotion in the body –
Joyful - Is that energy it? No
Caring - Is that it? No

Pictures -
Person in a group - Is that it? No

Words -
Having Fun - Is that it? No
Social - Is that it? No
Acceptance - Is that it? No
Individual - Is that it? No

From direct present observation, nothing that comes through is the separate self, there is emptiness.

[Bluejay]

From direct present observation, nothing that comes through is the separate self, there is emptiness.

Very good. How does it feel to see/feel this?

[Equanimity99]

How does it feel to see/feel this?

It feels light, spacious and free. :-)

[Bluejay]

Excellent.

So now when you look at those same three moments, is the sense of selfing different there?

[Equanimity99]

So now when you look at those same three moments, is the sense of selfing different there?

Yes, where there was selfing it now doesn't feel like selfing it feels like life happening.
The selfing was part of a story. Now it feels like life happening without anyone doing the 'happening'.

[Bluejay]

Sounds good!

For the next day, just rest in that and notice life happening, even inquiry happening by itself if it happens.

Report back tomorrow what happened :)