The Gate

Hi Luchana 😁

This is getting more and more difficult to answer with every post.😅

What is awareness when you look directly right here, right now?

Realisation of something that is happening or realisation of what is present in the moment, right here, right now.
This answer is a compromise like all the other answers because when awerness is looked at...there is nothing to talk about. Everything goes blank and verry pracefull with no need to explain and define anything. The best answer wold be...no answer.

How awareness is experienced exactly?

Every answer is a compromise because language cannot precisely describe what is going on actually when reality is looked at direcly regarding any aspect of it. I have dificulty even in my own language to express things like this. I'll make a try.

"I think I know" where youre getting with the questions. Awerness is experienced as the knowing of what's happening or appearing. For example knowing when attention is fully caught in thought and not knowing or knowing. Being cauth in the "movie" of thought and not being awere of all the other elements present in reality.

🤔 Hmmm! When "Lost" in thought...the "witness" disapeers and everything is still happening automatically and it's still witnesed... but without the witnes. Awernes of awerness dosapears. The thought of a "center" wich is being awere of awerness dispaears completly.its like a fully passive dream.

This is getting complicated. I wonder now wheen awerness is more pure. When is lost or when awerness of awerness is present. Never thought of that before.🤔

I know this is all a bunch of thought and I am fully aware of the movement of the mind and every word in slow motion right here, right now...but still.

Is there something as a thing called awareness ?

Fear comes in now.

What if there is no actual thing called awerness and what we call regular awerness is just a thought refering to itself as being awere?🤔😵‍💫 What is the point of all this anymore? Is awerness of awerness another MEing thought process? It seems so, now.
There is no such thing as awerness. It's just concept for the mind to grasp and integrate what is apparently happening. But it's equally ok.

What images fear brings?

My parrents suffering of lack and failure in life.

What is fear protecting?

The loseing of the ability to help my parents live a minimum fullfiled life and not die alone and in poverty.
Apparently I don't care about myself. I could be homeless starting right now but not them. I don't want to see them suffer.

What may happen?

It's about my parrents.
Not wanting them to be homeless, all alone, sick and in pain, drowned in sorrow, resentment, frustration and anger at life itself.

My fear is about loseing the ability to help them not to end up like that, in this awekaning process happening here on my side.

Thank you, Luchana! Thank you with all my heart 🙏

Hello Luchana! Me again 👋🤗🫶

I wanted to bring some additional detail to previous answer relatin FEAR

Is there something as a thing called awareness ?

Fear comes in now.

What if there is no actual thing called awerness and what we call regular awerness is just a thought refering to itself as being awere?🤔😵‍💫 What is the point of all this anymore? Is awerness of awerness another MEing thought process? It seems so, now.
There is no such thing as awerness. It's just concept for the mind to grasp and integrate what is apparently happening. But it's equally ok.

What images fear brings?

My parrents suffering of lack and failure in life.
What is fear protecting?
The loseing of the ability to help my parents live a minimum fullfiled life and not die alone and in poverty.
Apparently I don't care about myself. I could be homeless starting right now but not them. I don't want to see them suffer.

What may happen?

It's about my parrents.
Not wanting them to be homeless, all alone, sick and in pain, drowned in sorrow, resentment, frustration and anger at life itself.

My fear is about loseing the ability to help them not to end up like that, in this awekaning process happening here on my side

.

Something came out while still looking at this fear.
It's about full loss of control. Loseing the ability to control things is synonymous with losing the ability to help my parents and do something for them so they will not suffer. Not being able to aliviate they're suffering means that I am ussless, if I am ussless i disappoint , if I disspoint then thats "on me", imt to blame and I feel guilty, if I feel guilty I am afraid of remaining alone if I am ussless, guilty, shamefull, and alone...then I have no reason to exist, if there's no reason for me to exist.

Hope this can bring some insight in to this reminescent MEing that's still happening.

Thank you again 🙏🤗

Hi Flaviouos,

thank you for sharing the experience with fear with me.
This is something which needs to be looked at closely because fear gets in the way of what's really here.
But fear is nothing more than a protective mechanism and it is doing its job very well. It is a friend, it is just trying to help, to protect. And there is nothing wrong with that. We will just have a closer look.

I will start from the end:

It's about full loss of control. Loseing the ability to control things is synonymous with losing the ability to help my parents and do something for them so they will not suffer. Not being able to aliviate they're suffering means that I am ussless, if I am ussless i disappoint , if I disspoint then thats "on me", imt to blame and I feel guilty, if I feel guilty I am afraid of remaining alone if I am ussless, guilty, shamefull, and alone...then I have no reason to exist, if there's no reason for me to exist.

Can you bring this feeling of fear very close, as close as is possible. Be totally intimate with it. Do not try to avoid it, to get rid of it or to change it in any way.
Fully feel the fear of not having control.
Sink into that and try to completely ignore what thoughts are narrating.

Is it really scary?
Be curious - what is protecting fear?
Gently look BEHIND it?
What's there?

Hope this can bring some insight in to this reminescent MEing that's still happening.

Does the fact that there is a fear means that there is "me" happening?




Sending love,
Luchana

Helo Luchana! 👋

Some time was needed here to see through this. Stil isn't very clear but it's clearer.

Does the fact that there is a fear means that there is "me" happening?

Definitely "me" is happening. Iys not about the normal fear of an animal attacking you or stepping back when a car is seen coming your way but more about the psychological fears. Fear of being judged, abandoned,shamed. This are all mind fears. Not life saving fears.

Is it really scary?
Be curious - what is protecting fear?
Gently look BEHIND it?
What's there?

No it's not really scary it's just a sensation with a thought label. Actually wat has been seen clearly is that the stat of fear is the thought. First a "not knowing" sensation apears and then a thought apears randomly: " you must panic and worry now, what else are you gonna do?! You are afraid now, react and do something". But it's persistent. It keeps showing up. I've identified the belife that sais" fear now and react based on that because this is how you should act"

Two days ago I snapped at someone for interrupting me in a mid sentence, not waiting for what I had to say. MEing was definitely happening in a blink of an eye. I inquired why this reaction. Why the violent an instant need to react. I dicoverd that not listening to what I have to say directly contradicted the existence of an "I". That was interesting and showed me that the "me" belif although it has been seen as an asumptions, is still hidden in the subconcios mind, lurking from there to spot ocasions to manifest itself.(this is a metaphor, ofcourse )

Thank you very much, Luchana🙏🙏🙏

When you consider appropriate, "I think" "I'm redy" for thouse final questions. 🧘

Hi Flavius.

Definitely "me" is happening. Iys not about the normal fear of an animal attacking you or stepping back when a car is seen coming your way but more about the psychological fears. Fear of being judged, abandoned,shamed. This are all mind fears. Not life saving fears.

Can you look here :
Is there an expectation that "me" will stop happening once and for all?
It is called an illusion ...

When you see that the mirage in the desert is mirage does this mean that the mirage will stop appearing?

Two days ago I snapped at someone for interrupting me in a mid sentence, not waiting for what I had to say. MEing was definitely happening in a blink of an eye. I inquired why this reaction. Why the violent an instant need to react. I dicoverd that not listening to what I have to say directly contradicted the existence of an "I". That was interesting and showed me that the "me" belif although it has been seen as an asumptions, is still hidden in the subconcios mind, lurking from there to spot ocasions to manifest itself.(this is a metaphor, ofcourse )

When a certain emotion/trigger happens it is not because there is someone to whom that is happening.
Usually it needs further looking into all the triggers and paterns, but once the main believe that there is a separate autonomous entity is no more there it is in a way easier.

When you consider appropriate, "I think" "I'm redy" for thouse final questions. 🧘

Great! I will send those in another mail, but first look these above.

Sending love,
Luchana

Hei Luchana 👋😁

When a certain emotion/trigger happens it is not because there is someone to whom that is happening.
Usually it needs further looking into all the triggers and paterns, but once the main believe that there is a separate autonomous entity is no more there it is in a way easier.

I've allredy saw through this in January. I allredy know by direct experience clearly as a summer blue sky that there is no separate autonomous entity. I know that this was an asumption all along. I could see it in every past aspect of my life and how the asumption of a me triggers conclusions, actions, another set of belife every time. Im talking about that further looking that you speeak of. I do that now with your help. 😅

Your seeing me through the asumption that I didn't. That's the difference. I've been trying to tell you all this time. I'm further digging,with your help, to what's left. This is the "stage" of work that I'm looking in to. It's Aaso called shadow work, subconcios belifes inquiries, side asumptions that "help" the remaining "me" stand in place, further untangleing , that what starts triggers to happen apparently.

Can you look here :
Is there an expectation that "me" will stop happening once and for all?
It is called an illusion ...

When you see that the mirage in the desert is mirage does this mean that the mirage will stop appearing?

The belief that is a Me, the ilusion that is a Me has been seen through a long time ago(months).
Me stoped happening allredy. What I'm taking about is the automatic triggers from belifes and asumptions that still happen even if the Illusion of me has been penetrated. There's still work to be done so to speeak. Seeing through the ilusion of me and knowing that clearly doesn't fully stop type of "me" reactions.

Once a mirage is realised as a mirage it doesn't mean that it imediatly stops...it means that now you know for a fact from ditect experience that "this" is a mirage and never again taken for being real. Just as the mirage of a separate self, entity or asumption that there is a me.

Besides this, yes, there is a so called expectation that at some point in this "journey" that wich is called full Liberation will happen. Indeed that is purely theoretical at this " stage" I'm in and it is from gathered information of seeking. Things like seeing fully that there no desire/aversion, seeing through the belif of a center that is happening in relation with other elements that are "outside", seeing through the super-imposing of meaning and propertyes of things like objects, time and space etc.

So, onece and for all, I know allredy that there's no real "me" from direct/actual experience.

You helped me tremendously with eliminating that annoying doubt that was knoking at my mind's door.

🙏
Thank you very much, Luchana 🫶

Hi Flavius,

thank you for your reply.

Your seeing me through the asumption that I didn't. That's the difference. I've been trying to tell you all this time. I'm further digging,with your help, to what's left. This is the "stage" of work that I'm looking in to. It's Aaso called shadow work, subconcios belifes inquiries, side asumptions that "help" the remaining "me" stand in place, further untangleing , that what starts triggers to happen apparently.

:-) I don't have assumptions that you did or did not. I just ask questions.
And thank you for your willingness to look.


Here are the so called final ones, please spend time to reflect on each one and reply from experience.
Have fun :-)


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision,
intention,
free will,
choice and control.

What makes things happen? How does it work? Give examples from experience.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?


Sending love,
Luchana

Hi Luchana!👋

I took some time to take one more look at all of the question and get as specific and authentic as much I could.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

There is no "self" "separate self", "me" "I", there is no "thinker", "doer", "controler". It never was. There never will be, ever.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The ilusion of a separate self is a deep rooted uncouncious asumption thought, wich is belived to be the center of experience to wich things happen or/and has posesion of experience. Things happen "to" him/her. Feelings and thoughts are "there's", actions same.

It starts from a very early age through repetition of the ideea of you-yours. When we are being taught body parts coloors, spaciality, time, what is right or wrong, what is happening to us, what feelings are and how we should react to them. Mostly done by parents but also by caretakers , relatives, other kids, the hole enviorment and people around.

"It" becomes fully habitual and uncouncious, and it's hard wired into our body.

The tought of "self" associates every other learned thought that arises and instantly "takes possession" of it. Same with emotion. Is just habitual thought referencing another thought that apears regarding everything that was previously learned and defined or/and belived. It's imprinting of a sensation with a thought/information/ideea that becomes what is called emotion.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

I can speak from the las few days but the shift for me happend in January.

It felt like a joke. Something so extremely simple yet totally overseen. Something so close, closer then the "you" that you thought you were but also totally overlooked. Awe was the main state wich dwelled inside for a month and a half allmost. How coud I've missed this?! Is the most "hidden in plain sight" "thing" in the world.

After that, doubt began to lurk and question every thing that happened in experience. Working with LU helped seeing through that and made it even clearer, or as clear as before, that doubt was again, just a thought, hiding a remaining asumption of a self choosing, or in need to choose something. It was an imaginary gap between things to be chosen from when in fact there was no need to chose. It was a mind mechanism of pros and cons wich persisted to be held in place in the form of a "must" choose.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

When first this was seen through in January the thing that made it possible was the abandonment of seeking. Accepting fully that "this" seeing was never going to happen, ever. Not in my lifetime. Maybe it's not for me, maybe it's not "God's will" and in that split second of full acceptance evething fell away and just "pure conciosness" as it is called by some, remaind. The "seeker" just dissolved like smoke. It's belived now that that was possible because seeking was the only thing that occupied the mind space for months( no job, no obligation, nothing to do but just seek).

When doubt fell away, with your help Luchana, the thing that made me look and push through was a combination of 3 things.
1. Getting sick and tired of the suffering caused by doubt.
2.Your skillfully adresed questions
3.A determination and willingness to do anything it takes to see through what ever this is even if this is the last thing I do.

5) Describe decision,
intention,
free will,
choice and control.

Decision seems to be just an alignment of precondition belief and meaning given in the mind and by the mind to set in motion action to a specific interpreted result. It's not real per se.

Intention seems to be charged thougt that is a result of a belief and conditioning and has the purpose to achive something, to do something. It can or cannot be preceded by decision. It can be spontaneous, out of conditioning. In itself is just a thought + sensation, just like feeling is.

Free will seems to be as same as decision. The ilusion of choices resides in the false asumption that is a me existing and able to make a choice. When there's no "me", choice is evident to be an automatic series of thoughts and belifes that align regarding a pourpouse wich also is a thought. Thouth references though that references though and so on so forth.

What makes things happen? How does it work? Give examples from experience.

I used to drink my morning coffee behind the block where my mother has a small garden. There I noticed a flower that blooms only at sunset and stays blooming until noon. Admiring the flower's color and shape sparked curiosity (a thought) to find out what it was called. Then another thought arose asking what the name of the flower was for, then another describing what it was for, then another describing what it was not for. Then came the acceptance that all these thoughts existed and when the conclusion cameas the thought that said "it does no harm to anyone to know the name of the flower as a matter of fact" accompanied by a feeling of satisfaction, I automatically then stood up and went to the window to ask my mother what the name of the flower was.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

No one is responsible for anything because no one exists as a true separate self. So-called choices, decisions, mistakes or successes are nothing more than happenings resulting from conditioning the mind with the content provided by the environment. A thought occurs, if it is thought by another thought to be "good" or "right", the body moves according to the belived thought.
The identification is inoccent, the believing of thought is inoccent, the conditioning is inoccent. Being responsible for something happens only in the world of the separe self where is a "me" that believes that has free will.

6) Anything to add?

Yes. In the las few days since I took time to look very close at this questions a new experience began to appear. Especialy in the morning or in the afternoon if a try to take a nap or meditate for an hour, at some point, a very clear seeing apears. It's like a sensation of freedom from the knot in the chest, and neck is gone or a focused attention on somethin "out there" goes away..is like I'm just a payr of eyes seeing a very sharp landscape with no particular focus...it's like all its at maximum focus, there are no more separate focus points. It last for a few seconds and then return to usual.

Thank you!🫶

Hi Flavius,

thank you for your replies. Beautiful to read.
I will share them with the other fellow guides to see of I've missed something and will come back to you.
The other guides may or may not have some additional questions for you. If so I will post them here.

Yes. In the las few days since I took time to look very close at this questions a new experience began to appear. Especialy in the morning or in the afternoon if a try to take a nap or meditate for an hour, at some point, a very clear seeing apears. It's like a sensation of freedom from the knot in the chest, and neck is gone or a focused attention on somethin "out there" goes away..is like I'm just a payr of eyes seeing a very sharp landscape with no particular focus...it's like all its at maximum focus, there are no more separate focus points. It last for a few seconds and then return to usual.

Oh, how wonderful. Enjoy it while it lasts :-)


Sending love,
Luchana

Hi again Flavius,


the other guides have no other questions for you which means that you crash the Gateless gate so speak..but as you already know there is no gate and no one can crash it :-)

Maybe you recieved a message from the admin already? If not probably soon and the admin will contact you also in FB.
I will be waiting for you there in the Unleashed FB group.

Thank you for your commitment, trust and willingness to look.

It was really a joy to explore with you and to mirror in your expression as one of the many aspects of this wonder.


Sending much love,
Luchana