The Gate

Hi Tommy,

Thank you for your lovely sharing.

To your question, I got a very strong pull to subscribe into this forum. I didn´t hesitate for a second. It was like an automatic reaction somehow. And that decision was definitely not coming from the mind.

What is you doing that?
What is a body?
A thought? Hands writing?
Something separate and autonomous?
Some external power or ?
Is it possible to find the place from where the decision came?


Sending love,
Luchana

Hi Luchana,

Hope you are enjoying Greece. And thank you for a very powerful meeting on Thursday. Both inquiries were very good for me to hear. I could resonate a lot with D in the first inquiry where fear was an energy that caused contraction. I feel "fear to not be enough" is my trauma that I´ve tried to work a lot with.

Back to your questions. This was a hard inquiry for me also. I tried to get a sense to these during my Swedish midsummer festivities.

What is you doing that?

I guess i was wrong here in my last reply. After considering different options I think every decision is just happening. It´s happening automatically. Then the mind builds a story afterwards around it. This would mean though that there is no free will apparently.

What is a body?
A thought? Hands writing?
Something separate and autonomous?
Some external power or ?
Is it possible to find the place from where the decision came?

These questions are very hard for me, very much resistance. I guess body is just another thought. I can´t find a place where the decisions come from. If the body is just a thought or label, it doesn´t exist. Therefore it can´t be something separate and autonomous either. This is very challenging for me.

Best,
tommi

Hi Tommy,

thank you for you beautiful words. Yea we have a lovely time here, the retreat started and lot is going on :-)

I guess i was wrong here in my last reply. After considering different options I think every decision is just happening. It´s happening automatically. Then the mind builds a story afterwards around it. This would mean though that there is no free will apparently.

Beautiful!

This is very challenging for me.

What is this ME which it is referred to in the above statement?
How ME is experienced here now?
What is ME when you don't think about ME?


Sending love,
Luchana

Hi Luchana,

Awesome pointing again! There is a realization now that the "me" was just mind activity of fear there to protect itself. It was revealed by the awareness once again. When examined "Me" here and now there is nothing, only emptiness. Only a sensation of mind activity, some kind of energy moving. Me disappears immediately when I´m not thinking of it. This is awesome practice!
Thank you.

With love,
tommy

Hi Tommy,
For some reason I see your message just now. Sorry for delay.

Only a sensation of mind activity, some kind of energy moving. Me disappears immediately when I´m not thinking of it. This is awesome practice!

:-) Yep, this is what happens when we look.
Notice

Was there a me, a real something which can appears and disappears?

Or all there was - was an idea about a me?


Let's pay a closer attention of how choice and decision is happening at experience.

1. Place both hands on a table in front of you, palms down.
2. When you have done that, rest for a moment and then raise one hand in the air but not the other.

Don't go to thoughts, examine your direct experience. Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:

What is it exactly that is choosing which hand to raise?
Can you find a separate individual or anything that is doing the choosing?
What is it that is controlling the hand?
Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?
Can anything be found that makes the hand move?
How is the decision made?


Please take a look at each question and reply each question individually.
Have fun :-)

Sending much love,
Luchana

Hi Luchana,

Very interesting exercise! I have never looked at decision making this closely. To your questions:

Was there a me, a real something which can appears and disappears?
Or all there was - was an idea about a me?

No, there was not anything real. It has to be just an "idea of me". Anything real can not come and go.

What is it exactly that is choosing which hand to raise?

This was completely crazy. I just focused on raising one hand and every time my right hand rose! Never the left. The left was light glued to the table. I looked at what made decision and it was definitely not my mind. My closest answer is awareness, emptiness. The decision was just arising from awareness. This is absolutely crazy :)

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is doing the choosing?

I could not find anything separate that made the decision. The decision just happened and rose from emptiness.

What is it that is controlling the hand?

It has to be awareness.

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

No. No controller whatsoever.

Can anything be found that makes the hand move?

I can´t find anything really. There was just a willingness to raise one hand though.

How is the decision made?

The decision just happened. No one was deciding.

A very interesting exercise indeed. I have to let this sink in and continue looking. Thank you so much for guiding, this is amazing.

With love,
Tommy

Hi Tommy,

you did a very good looking!

This was completely crazy. I just focused on raising one hand and every time my right hand rose! Never the left. The left was light glued to the table. I looked at what made decision and it was definitely not my mind. My closest answer is awareness, emptiness. The decision was just arising from awareness. This is absolutely crazy :)

Nice catch.

What is awareness when you look directly right here, right now?

How awareness is experienced exactly?

Is there something as a thing called awareness ?

or awareness is a just a word, a label we use.



Look very curiously.

Is there a PLACE from where the decision come from?


Sending love,
Luchana

Hi Luchana,

Thanks for great pointers again.

What is awareness when you look directly right here, right now?

It´s complete emptiness, or nothing, Spaciousness could also describe it. Yes, it´s nothing really.

How awareness is experienced exactly?

It´s nothing. It´s not an experience really. Nothingness.

Is there something as a thing called awareness ?

No, it´s actually nothingness where everything arises.

or awareness is a just a word, a label we use.

Yes, it´s only a label on something you can´t put a label on.

Look very curiously.

Is there a PLACE from where the decision come from?

No, the decision just arises from nothing. This is leads to many new questions really. Is life like a virtual reality game where decision are not in the hands of the character at all and just arise from nothing fully randomly? Or is life like a movie with a manuscript already written? Is there already a destiny for this character? Is something just playing a game of awakening with this character called "tommy" and the character is completely helpless?

Also, I got a glimpse of oneness where everything happened like on "screen". Like when you put VR glasses on. The 3D depth is like an illusion just constructed by the sense of seeing, Can it also be that the environment just moves and the character is standing "still"? Like in VR game. This would be a total mind fuck if it would be the case. Is everything around me just a creation of the mind and not real at all? This decision making opens so many new questions...

Thank you again for wonderful guiding, I saw your interview with Matt Garrett. There is a strong resonance with Matt also :)

Much love,
Tommy

Hi Tommy,

sorry for the delay in response...

You did a good looking.

Also, I got a glimpse of oneness where everything happened like on "screen". Like when you put VR glasses on. The 3D depth is like an illusion just constructed by the sense of seeing, Can it also be that the environment just moves and the character is standing "still"? Like in VR game. This would be a total mind fuck if it would be the case. Is everything around me just a creation of the mind and not real at all? This decision making opens so many new questions...

Oh, nice :-)

Notice is there something else, more than oneness/freedom?
Is there someone or something INSIDE or OUTSIDE oneness looking it?

like an illusion just constructed by the sense of seeing

Good.
What is doing the sense of seeing?

An I, a pair of eyes, a body?

You?


Sending love,
Luchana

Hi Luchana,

Thanks for these questions again. I am starting to see what you are pointing to. I am going to be traveling (bike trip) the coming 2 days and will reply when I am back. I have had quite a lot engaging with worldly things on my vacation and need some extra time to do this inquiry. I will come back to you. Meanwhile, enjoy Greece!

With love,
tommy

Hi Tommy,

all right! Have a wonderful biking trip.
And try to not separate that from looking... use every opportunity to look.
Even for a few seconds.
Who is riding the bike for example? :-)

We back from Greece few days ago, now Sofia.

Sending love,
Luchana

HI Luchana,

I have been inquiring on your questions.

Notice is there something else, more than oneness/freedom?

Actually everything that is appearing is it. The movement of the leaves on a tree, the walking of a human body, the sounds of a passing car etc. Everything just is it. I am starting to see everything more "mechanical" somehow, like human bodies running around controlled by their mind activity chasing pleasures. This seeing helps me to see everything as it because it´s so absurd. The absurdness reveals the false selves. This is my experience,

Is there someone or something INSIDE or OUTSIDE oneness looking it?

No, everything just is without an observer. Everything happens but for no-one.

What is doing the sense of seeing?
No-one. Seeing is just happening. This feels a bit strange though when I´m writing this.

An I, a pair of eyes, a body?
No-one. Not the eyes, the body nor I. Nothing.

You?

Not even me. Seeing is happening by no-one. Maybe I can call it awareness also.

Much love,
//tommy

Hi Tommy,

Maybe I can call it awareness also.

yes, we can call it with many names. Let's try something.


Look at whatever is in front of you. It is seen from the perspective of two windows (eyes) or is it like a windscreen view? Now zoom back in and try to find the thing that’s seeing.

Is there seeing separate from what’s seen, or is there just what’s seen?
Is there any awareness separate from experience or is there just experience?

Sending love,
Luchana

Hi Luchana,

I just watched your walking video with Lubo on youtube, very beautiful.

To your questions.

Look at whatever is in front of you. It is seen from the perspective of two windows (eyes) or is it like a windscreen view? Now zoom back in and try to find the thing that’s seeing.

The seeing is like windscreen view. One view, not two. I can´t find the thing that is seeing. I am starting to get your point :) Can it be so simple? Can it be just everything as it is? Like raw experience, without any analyzis, comments or labeling by the mind. Just experience exactly as it is.

Is there seeing separate from what’s seen, or is there just what’s seen?

No separate "seeing", there is just what is seen. This means there is no person separate from what is seen or experienced. Crazy....

Is there any awareness separate from experience or is there just experience?

No separate awareness either. Just the experience. Can it really be that everything just is without any separate seer or doer... Wow! Thank you so much for your guiding, this means everything to me.

With much love,
//tommy

Hi Tommy.

I just watched your walking video with Lubo on youtube, very beautiful.

Oh so sweet that there is a resonance.

The seeing is like windscreen view. One view, not two. I can´t find the thing that is seeing. I am starting to get your point :) Can it be so simple? Can it be just everything as it is? Like raw experience, without any analyzis, comments or labeling by the mind. Just experience exactly as it is.

Yes, it is so so simple.
Look is there someone/something AND or IN the experience?


And here is something to reflect
This is Bahyia Sutta,
read it few times and check it at experience - is it true?

"In the seen there is only the seen,
in the heard there is only the heard,
in the sensed there is only the sensed,
in the cognized there is only the cognized.

And since for you, Bāhiya,
In the seen there is only the seen,
in the heard there is only the heard,
in the sensed there is only the sensed,
in the cognized there is only the cognized.

therefore, Bāhiya, you are not located in the world of that,
nor in the world of this
therefore, Bāhiya, you will not be here or hereafter or in between the two
- and just this is the end of suffering.”

Sending love,
Luchana