Awakening

[Patrickbere]

Yes that really helps clarify it for me, thanks Stacy. The other part, the seeing of thoughts, I'm finding is a lot to take in. I will think about this some more. Thank you so much Stacy.
Love
Patrick

[Anastacia42]

Good.

Re-read Colored Socks at the beginning here. Thinking will not answer your questions. LOOKING will.

We have much to do.

Try this, which begins to bring this together.

Actual/Direct Experience - Apple

Have a look at an apple (or any fruit you like.) If you have a ‘real’ apple, you can use it for this exercise. Google for a picture of an apple.



When looking at an apple, there's color; a thought saying ‘apple’; and maybe a thought saying, "I'm looking at an apple."

What is known for sure? Color is known and thoughts are known.

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

Actual experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something…because that is only just more thought.

Actual experience is sound, thought, color, smell, taste, sensation and the fact of thought arising, but not its content.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT can't be found in actual experience.

This is what is meant by "looking in actual experience." What you know for sure, and, is always here.

Taste labeled ‘apple’ is known
Color labeled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labeled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labeled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known

However, is an apple actually known?

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

Loving,
Stacy

[Patrickbere]

Hi Stacy,

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

These aren't seen directly, you have to sort of think about them. You have to go away from seeing for a moment.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

There is no apple in direct looking, no apple in direct experience. There is only an image, colour and thought.

However, is an apple actually known?

No. Apple is a concept or story that is not there in direct experience.

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

I can see that there is separation between direct experience and what we commonly think of as experience. We commonly think this is an apple we are experiencing but there is no apple in direct experience. Apple is the label or story we add on, even though we are not aware of doing so, not aware at all.

Stacy my answers are pretty brief here and I haven't spent as much time on the exercise as I would like. I felt quite ill today and am struggling to get my energy back. Just wanted to let you know short answers are not reflecting my underlying feeling of commitment.
Love
Patrick

[Anastacia42]

You're doing fine. I'm sorry you're still feeling sick.

Your answers are brief & correct. You're looking, not thinking & that's what matters.

REST and do this when you feel up to it.

Here's a pointer to look at "control."

Palm Flipping Exercise

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.

2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.

Watch like a hawk.

Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience.

Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:

How is the movement controlled?

Does a thought control it?

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Loving,

~ Stacy

[Patrickbere]

Hi Stacy,
I think my answers to this one will be a bit off. I feel like maybe I've misunderstood something or my looking is faulty. But here goes.

How is the movement controlled?

I really don't know.

Does a thought control it?

When I watch the hand and watch my mind I cannot see any thought controlling it. Which must be wrong, I'm confused....maybe the thought is set up just before the looking starts and then sort of does it's directing in the background? I can't see any thought controlling it nor do I know how it's controlled when I just look intently. Odd.

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

No

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

I don't know. There is no occasion where a thought makes the decision and the hand turns over immediately.

Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

I don't know, I was not aware of making that choice.

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

No. When I look directly I cannot find such an individual or entity. Nothing.

I found this one very confusing Stacy.

Love
Patrick

[Anastacia42]

Hi Patrick

Confusing though it may be that's exactly right.

There's no "self" to intend, think, control or anything. Everything just happens. It's a Mystery.

Let's do another similar one.

Drink Exercise

The aim of the following exercise is to discover whether the function of choice can really be found or confirmed in actual experience. The idea of making ‘choices‘ is a very clear example of a function that we wrongly identify as the basis of our identity.

Here's what’s needed - a chair, a table and two different drinks. Any two drinks you like are okay for this: coffee, tea, milk, water, juices, smoothies, beer, wine, etc.

Preparation - Place the two drinks side by side on the table in front of you, sit comfortably on the chair and mentally label them as drink A and drink B.

Experiment - Finding the function of choice

Sit for a few moments, take a few relaxed breaths and let the dust settle. When you feel ready:

1. Look at drink A and at drink B. Think about their respective qualities, the things you like about them, compare and weigh the pros and cons of each. See if a preference is manifesting for one or the other.

2. Count to 5.

3. Choose one of the drinks. Pick it up and take a sip.

Questions:

Remember that we’re looking for some kind of function, a something, an ‘I’ which is doing the ‘choosing’.

In step 1 when thinking about their respective qualities, did you ‘choose’ the qualities? Or did they kind of appear by themselves? If some preferences manifested, did you ‘choose’ these preferences? Or did they just pop up by themselves?

In step 2 when you counted to 5, if the preferences took the back seat while the numbers took the front seat, did you ‘choose’ this sequence of event? Did you ‘choose’ to shut down the preferences to give way to the counting?

Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Have you seen this function in action?

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?

Sometimes we describe this sense of choosing as a ‘feeling’: It feels like ‘I’ did the 'choosing’. But the question is, can a feeling ‘choose’? Is it in the nature of a feeling to 'choose’?

Loving

~ Stacy

[Patrickbere]

Hi Stacy,
I did the drinks exercise today but I would like to wait until tomorrow to write about it.
A strange thing happened today that I wanted to mention, I spent bits of time today doing the hand flipping exercise. My mental health has been walloped by covid and the hand flipping exercise made me feel much lighter most times I did it. After one time I felt a strong feeling of gratitude to you for helping me with this, it was like a little wave of gratitude that appeared out of nowhere (like my choices seem to).
I just wanted to say thanks and I will post my responses the drinks exercise tomorrow.
Love Patrick

[Anastacia42]

Aww. You're doing great Patrick. Take your time. I'll be here. I'm very happy to be helping. This is my way of working for world peace, one minded a time.

Loving,
Stacy

[Patrickbere]

Thank you so much for the encouragement, it was a relief to read that.

Ok,

In step 1 when thinking about their respective qualities, did you ‘choose’ the qualities? Or did they kind of appear by themselves? If some preferences manifested, did you ‘choose’ these preferences? Or did they just pop up by themselves?

No I did not choose the qualities, they kind of appeared by themselves. Preference did manifest but I did not choose the preference. They literally just popped up by themselves. Odd.

In step 2 when you counted to 5, if the preferences took the back seat while the numbers took the front seat, did you ‘choose’ this sequence of event? Did you ‘choose’ to shut down the preferences to give way to the counting?

I did not choose to shut down the preferences to give way to the counting, it just happened seemingly spontaneously.

Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Have you seen this function in action?

No I did not. I did not experience any faculty doing any choosing, it just seemed to happen. Nothing in direct experience that was choosing.

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?

No there was no faculty doing the choosing. Nothing like that arose. It was quite spontaneous and I couldn't truly directly see the choice being made. I couldn't see any chooser.

Sometimes we describe this sense of choosing as a ‘feeling’: It feels like ‘I’ did the 'choosing’. But the question is, can a feeling ‘choose’? Is it in the nature of a feeling to 'choose’?

A couple of times I thought I could sense a choice being made or more like the immediate aftermath of the choice, one it was being enacted, but not the actual choosing. Yes I would describe it as a feeling but it was more like something I witnessed than something I was doing, even though I sort of told myself I must be doing it or like maybe my unconscious was doing it.

I felt some strange things today Stacy, a couple of times I had thoughts like "my suffering is something I have to go into thought to make up, like "apple", it's not something there in direct experience" but then I sort of saw that and then un -saw it.....

Thank you Stacy.

Love Patrick

[Anastacia42]

Good morning!

I felt some strange things today Stacy, a couple of times I had thoughts like "my suffering is something I have to go into thought to make up, like "apple", it's not something there in direct experience" but then I sort of saw that and then un -saw it.....

YES YES YES!

Can you truly un-see? Or just stop noticing,but the truth is still there? Take a look.

the hand flipping exercise made me feel much lighter most times I did

YES. Truth feels light & expansive.

How does it FEEL to SEE all of this?

Do you notice any difference in your experience?

It will be quite a story to tell that you saw all of this - even though you had COVID!

Loving,
Stacy

[Patrickbere]

Good morning Stacy,
It's a bit after 9am here now.

Can you truly un-see? Or just stop noticing,but the truth is still there? Take a look.

You are right. That truth is still there but my habitual beliefs are still strong. I will keep looking directly today at this.

How does it FEEL to SEE all of this?

It feels amazing. It made me laugh and cry. I felt so disoriented. I still haven't digested it yet. I keep doing the hand flipping thing and every time I feel surprised but I usually either laugh or cry after I do it. I'm not sure why....

Do you notice any difference in your experience?

Yes at the time I do but it doesn't stay with me. I do feel a bit lighter overall but I'm not sure if that might be the covid doom lifting off me a bit.

Thank you so much for helping me Stacy. I do feel like we are getting somewhere.
Love Patrick

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

5:30 pm here.

Yes. you're seeing.

You're right. It's unlikely to be constant.

Watch these, please:

https://youtu.be/vJQcD588g2w

and

https://youtu.be/PUDzrCLlrj4

Loving
Stacy

[Patrickbere]

Hi Stacy, I watched the videos and they were helpful and useful. I'm not sure yet that I've actually started seeing but maybe? I hope you are right. I will keep working with the exercises tomorrow.

I was wondering if you could explain this a bit more:

Actual experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something…because that is only just more thought.

We have to go away from looking, away from direct experience to think about or examine the content of a thought. So in a sense the content of a thought is less real or less immediate than the fact that there is a thought, which we can know via direct experience. Does this tell us something about the content of thoughts? That they are sort of less a part of reality and more a part of a made up thought world? I'm not articulating my question very well because I don't understand it very well but hopefully you can get a sense of what I'm asking.

Thank you Stacy.
Love Patrick

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

It looks like the exercise is cut off. Let me knew I'd things like that happen! Please.


Drink Exercise

The aim of the following exercise is to discover whether the function of choice can really be found or confirmed in actual experience. The idea of making ‘choices‘ is a very clear example of a function that we wrongly identify as the basis of our identity.

Here's what’s needed - a chair, a table and two different drinks. Any two drinks you like are okay for this: coffee, tea, milk, water, juices, smoothies, beer, wine, etc.

Preparation - Place the two drinks side by side on the table in front of you, sit comfortably on the chair and mentally label them as drink A and drink B.

Experiment - Finding the function of choice

Sit for a few moments, take a few relaxed breaths and let the dust settle. When you feel ready:

1. Look at drink A and at drink B. Think about their respective qualities, the things you like about them, compare and weigh the pros and cons of each. See if a preference is manifesting for one or the other.

2. Count to 5.

3. Choose one of the drinks. Pick it up and take a sip.

Questions:

Remember that we’re looking for some kind of function, a something, an ‘I’ which is doing the ‘choosing’.

In step 1 when thinking about their respective qualities, did you ‘choose’ the qualities? Or did they kind of appear by themselves? If some preferences manifested, did you ‘choose’ these preferences? Or did they just pop up by themselves?

In step 2 when you counted to 5, if the preferences took the back seat while the numbers took the front seat, did you ‘choose’ this sequence of event? Did you ‘choose’ to shut down the preferences to give way to the counting?

Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Have you seen this function in action?

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?

Sometimes we describe this sense of choosing as a ‘feeling’: It feels like ‘I’ did the 'choosing’. But the question is, can a feeling ‘choose’? Is it in the nature of a feeling to 'choose’?


Loving,

~ Stacy

[Anastacia42]

Good morning

Does this tell us something about the content of thoughts? That they are sort of less a part of reality and more a part of a made up thought world? I'm not articulating my question very well because I don't understand it very well but hopefully you can get a sense of what I'm asking.

Yes!

Content of thought is made up. It's a story, a lie.

And can you find any "self" in Direct Experience?

Can you see, hear, feel, taste or smell *anything?"



Loving,
Stacy