Hand on the gate

[Lubo]

Hi dear Charmain,
It is so beautiful to see that non-freedom is just a bundle of concepts. Life is free from concept of me/the owner of life.

More clarity with the exploration of what has seemed like a workable concept - especially in my line of work!

Nice :)

Notice during everyday life who is living, who is Charmain, is there a doer who makes effort to be a human? Someone who moves human's body, who speaks with others? or this is how life appears by itself, effortlessly?
In the same way is there someone in the kangaroo who makes it to jump? or to moves the tale :) or kangaroo is how life shows up?
Is there responsibility or non- responsibility?
Are you responsible for something? Give examples from every day life?

Much love
Lubo

[LoveEd]

Thank you Lubo - loving the clarity - but still seemingly flip flopping.

I will pay close attention to these questions today. There are already texts and messages arriving this morning - asking 'me' what time will I arrive, what are the arrangements etc etc. Requests to do things 'for others', witnessing and noticing. Noticing the pattern of 'not letting them down', people 'relying' on something happening. The pattern of managing others' expectations of things happening. Perfect day for this inquiry. There cant be anyone owning or claiming a responsibility - i can get that on a level of understanding - today I will notice.

I will check in later!

Much love x x x

[LoveEd]

Hello Lubo

I have been with these questions most the time .. there is something looping .... exploring responsibility .. and noticing a perpetual sensation of guilt that comes with a sense of responsibility

Examples:
whilst out with friends, i noticed guilt at 'not being at home', a responsibility to the family, exploring this shows its not real here - but a sense of being in a role as a mother, wife, dog owner etc feels real.

At work there was an idea launched last year to help many people, a service, a dream of a friends 'I' helped to realise with them - and with that came a sense of responsibility - a whole wave of people in need - reaching out - wanting help with a team of volunteers all wanting to do something - and in the position of manager a sense of obligation to support this.

There are clients seeking help with trauma, seeking appointments, advice, talks - a stream of emails and requests and a sense of responsibility - to RESPOND!



I can know these things are just what is happening - but the guilt is the ownership, the claiming from an I that she is doing it. Who is this "I" in this "role" with a sense of responsibility. I am sat right here, right now with the sense of this! It feels so real and such a 'big' thing to surmount. The thoughts attached to it are around letting people down, not fulfilling a promise, letting down the organisation, ignoring people in need. I know these are all thoughts Lubo, but there is looping and confusion between Reality and 'doing the right thing' (another thought).

I can intellectually get what you say about life just showing up this way, jumping the kangaroo, actioning the charmain.. but the responsibility thing has got a hold on 'me' here - like a big "yeah.. but . I AM RESPONSIBLE" for the welfare of such and such - I KNOW Im not ... but i still seem to feel it.

Today with this I am not responding or getting involved - i'm just sitting with this - i will do so until I see it!

Im curious how it feels for you Lubo, Im guessing you are guiding many people - and enquiries and involved with others in this way ... what is that like for you?

I hope this makes sense ...

Thanking you x

[Lubo]

Hi dear Charmain,
It is wonderful how you notice that responsibility and guilt are connected.
Responsibility happens not because there is someone who is responsible like a me in the body/doer.
So, notice again there is something that is going on - Absolute reality, beloved = Charmain is walking with a friend AND suddenly old pattern that there is a person in the body start playing with the voice of guilt. Please notice when this happens again, in the same moment - notice that Charmain was brought here! And this voice of guilt is just thoughts which speak about other reality where there is a person with free will. Yes there can be wishes like to be more accurate or to help more people but wether this desire happens is not your responsibility. Notice does the desire create a self? Does the desire belongs to a centre ?
What if you surrender and accept that what's appear as you, through you is exactly what must be, you are completely innocent?
Notice what is happening with this voice of guilt :)?
Notice also - is there something more then simple enjoying life?

Much love
Lubo

[LoveEd]

All wonderful questions Lubo

apparent responsibility is there - but not because 'charmain' is responsible - i love the line 'notice charmain was brought here' - thats helped a lot - this character can only be anywhere as part of the character story - as already happening - is happening - not because charmain made a choice and then made it happen - none of it - ever! even when it is in the apparent responsible role

desire arising as thought - but not then to be claimed as a responsibility - something 'charmain' can do

AND THANK YOU - is there something more than simple enjoying life? NO NO NO - but the ego wants to make up another story, resisting the simple enjoyment of things (there must be a price to pay, youre not being responsible, you have to work hard etc etc etc etc) Life just is simple, exactly as it must be and as no one is doing anything, can only be completely innocent

This all makes perfect perfect sense - and can almost be fully felt and seen!

Going to stay with it more

Much love x

[Lubo]

Mmm Your replay is from a very deep place. Thank you.
Yes, Charmain is here not because someone's free will and responsibility. :)

Charmain is this energy which appears right now in this very moment.

Now, without the story about "charmain is someone's life" - notice is there something more then energy that appear AS everything, AS every-moment?

is there anybody? Was there anybody?

Much Love
xxx
lubo

[LoveEd]

Hello Lubo
Your questions yet again led to deep inquiry - OMG we have no idea how all this happens - even the 'arrival of charmain' is a bullshit story of a mum and dad having a baby - that looks completely stupid - such a flimsy story :-)

charmain is not someone's life - noone is living a life - i really got this last night - i was ordering stuff on the internet, a fireplace and a dvd - and i saw clearly there was no one doing it - for example also there are just too many things interplaying known and unknown that literally just happen - no one could possibly be able to claim this as 'doing' - its not as crystal clear today - but i did get a huge sense of real relief and joy

I love sitting with this energy without the story - is there something more? there just is this appearing as everything

its becoming clearer there is nobody - there never could have been - but something still 'holding on'

today it was really natural to not get in the way of a situation at work - it was left - and someone got annoyed and upset - and there was zero guilt, how they feel, how it turned out, really not anyone's responsibility -

Thank you with love x

[Lubo]

Wow Charmain,
You see everything, nice :)

Your questions yet again led to deep inquiry - OMG we have no idea how all this happens - even the 'arrival of charmain' is a bullshit story of a mum and dad having a baby - that looks completely stupid - such a flimsy story :-)

Yes, there is only an idea that Charmain is someone, mom and dad are someone else :)
And when we pulled out me from Charmain and they from mom and dad - is there separation, are there others?

charmain is not someone's life - noone is living a life - i really got this last night - i was ordering stuff on the internet, a fireplace and a dvd - and i saw clearly there was no one doing it - for example also there are just too many things interplaying known and unknown that literally just happen - no one could possibly be able to claim this as 'doing' - its not as crystal clear today - but i did get a huge sense of real relief and joy

Yes, this is it :) There is no one who is someone or something, doer is just a story :)
"its not as crystal clear today" - yes illusion will still appear, there is no one who can influence it.
But notice is there belief that illusion is not illusion but reality?

its becoming clearer there is nobody - there never could have been - but something still 'holding on'

Mmm, investigate what is this? What is not life that appear as this but a self?
To what thoughts put red label "me/mine"?
Thoughts + label "me/mine" is there a real you because of the label?
Charmain character - body, head, walking, speaking, sensations, emotions + label me/mine - is there real you who is charmain because of the label?

today it was really natural to not get in the way of a situation at work - it was left - and someone got annoyed and upset - and there was zero guilt, how they feel, how it turned out, really not anyone's responsibility -

Wonderful, yes if life wants to play as "someone got annoyed and upset" who are we to not accept it

brava :)
x
Lubo

[LoveEd]

Hi Lubo

But notice is there belief that illusion is not illusion but reality?

Im still exploring this - seeing where the beliefs may be ... beautifully helped by a 'triggering situation' today - where do i believe either me, the other character or the situation was anything but illusion ..... will get back to you


Mmm, investigate what is this? What is not life that appear as this but a self?
To what thoughts put red label "me/mine"?
Thoughts + label "me/mine" is there a real you because of the label?
Charmain character - body, head, walking, speaking, sensations, emotions + label me/mine - is there real you who is charmain because of the label?

I get this but dont really see it yet ... i feel like i am repeating myself over and over - the knowing, but not fully seeing. Im focusing on this through this evening and will type again real soon.

Thanking you for your patience!
Much love
x

[LoveEd]

Hi again Lubo

Re-reading my response to you, I realise I could be asking you for help.

Today I was met with a character representing everything charmain could ever possibly feel threatened or offended by :-). it was perfect. I tried to avoid this person initially but had no choice but to sit in their presence. I did remain conscious of illusion, but could still feel responses and sensations with each statement. i was then informed that character is joining my team. Perfect.
Please could you guide me in how to use this scenario - it raised a sense of injustice and disrespect towards charmain and highlights where the illusion is still believed over reality. In reality nothing happened really, an interaction, words spoken, sensations felt. No people doing this. Its helping to type it out, so thats good! but i would really love to SEE!

Thank you x

[Lubo]

Hi dear Charmain,

I want to share something important -Your experience is only right, your looking is only right.
You are the only authority!
I am here only like a google map assistant, if something do not work for you this is not because of you but because the assistant.
Check what is your experience, what is not OK and where you want to go and ask google map assistant to show you the way.

Here it is a direction if its work for you - Look around ...there is oneness or there is Charmain + Oneness?
Where is Chairmain exactly? What is Chairmain ?

Much love
Lubo

[Lubo]

Ha , my last answer is about your previous post :)

Today I was met with a character representing everything charmain could ever possibly feel threatened or offended by :-). it was perfect.

Yes, everything is perfect, always :)
I understand that this looks difficult but seems that you are ready to meet this part.
Ok. Notice resistance to the sensations that come when the thoughts about this body/character comes up ?
Please meet these sensations threatened , offended - if you don't believe the story that you are afraid from this body and don't pay the story that this body with his mouth can offended you - is it a problem these sensations to appear and than to pass by?
Notice does voice of shame/guilt judging sensations that are here?
Is this voice of truth?

How you see situation now, is this helpful?

Much love
Lubo

[LoveEd]

thank you Lubo .... wow - its taken days to respond - life has been getting very busy, filled with really lovely things - but watching where charmain thinks she's doing well and enjoying the things 'she' is achieving! The slower and quieter things become with less 'doership', the easier and more fulfilling things are. But with no one to claim them.

The person was great, your questions were helpful. She was like a characarteur of all charmain's bugbears. But really, who is offended, what is the threat?, to who!!!?? i sat with the feelings and thoughts of this and they fell away. I'm really okay with them now - 'we' will get along fine.

There was another deep experience of an obvious sense of being, the words IM ALREADY IT were large and loud as an obvious sensation of being, as I am, just was. Just being, just awareness, just beautiful. It lingers, but not in an obvious full on way.

I'm not sure where I am at (again :-) !!),

Much love

x

[LoveEd]

Thank you both so much for this weekend ... i loved every minute.

There felt like a real energetic shift - a lightness - a realisation that I am not the experience, It is an experience called life, and I am a part of it, but not it. Not the central figure as a creative director - I'm not responsible for any of it, and neither is anybody else. We are all playing it out, together... just as it is. I can see the innocence in the context of the truth of it.
I think the homework exercise you set yesterday was a real eye opener, and although quite a subtle exercise, it brought up many questions about fault, minimising some of the stuff we do as somehow wrong 'because they are doing it for the wrong reasons'. Ha - there is no because. Nobody doing anything for any reason at all. Nobody to do.

You helped me see my hidden expectations too .. every time i used to think about the expectations, i would get frustrated! so I didn't. But today, I could see them, so simple, yet so seemingly big.

Framing it also as the experience, and the experiencer - and seeing nobody is experiencing it really, not a person, but there is a kind of perception of it. an awareness of it ...

And yes, thoughts are still here - but they can be seen differently - it doesn't matter in the same way. Knowing its whats happening. I'm also letting the fact I don't die soak in - wow - what a mind blowing plot changer.

All this changes the game up. Steps up the quality of the experience. In to a technicolour (haha I ordered a new TV this weekend!) We're in it, but can see the wide invitation to just enjoy it - thats all - jump around in it - excel in the delights, without guilt or judgement. The invitation was always here - NOTHING stopping that as a way to be - apart from thoughts. Its like a crackly, electric fuzz that was diminishing the quality has been switched off. It feels different.

There's loads more i could probably write, so many layers, directions to explore now - a Real adventure.

Just wanted to share - so so so so so grateful to you both.

With love
x

[Lubo]

Hi dear Charmain,
Thanks for the love in your replays.

Wonderful revelation, thank you a lot for the sharing!
Let's finish this case called "Me"

We're in it, but can see the wide invitation to just enjoy it - thats all - jump around in it - excel in the delights, without guilt or judgement.

Right now, notice the thoughts which are "recognising" Me as this or that?
Is there a me at all?
Is there an I which is something?

Do you exist at all ?
or there is just thoughts - hologram?
Much Love
Lubo