Time to see through the illusion

[vegansatori]

Hahaha, that makes sense!

I got the link, and I will start listening later tonight.
Thanks again, and have a great night!
-Todd

[Anastacia42]

Thanks! You, too.

By the way, I was at the workshop where this was trotted. That's me laughing uncontrollably after the Zooming in on Death meditation.

Enjoy!

[Anastacia42]

Recorded not trotted... don't know how that got there. :)

[vegansatori]

Good morning!
That's really cool!
Do you have any recommendations as to how many of these I should be doing a day? Or how often I should be repeating one?

Last night I listened to the intro, and then read and tried the transcript of the "All it is" one, and then actually listened to them and tried them again.

Wasn't sure if I should do that one again today, or go on and listen to more.

Thanks very much again, and have a great day!
Todd

[Anastacia42]

Good morning,

Sure. We did them intensely for an entire weekend. Best awakening I ever had had and lasted for months. Of course, that was the honeymoon period.

I suggest you eventually do all of them. Once you've learned them, they take mere seconds. It's just the set up and doing them once that takes any time. They really are "instant."

Right now, you can do any pointed I've given you as often as you feel moved to do it. After that, just as you feel prompted to do them. Follow your own leanings. This isn't like school. It is far more intuitive.

Make sense?

Loving,

[vegansatori]

Hi Stacy,
It's funny, I thought I responded to this, but I must have gotten sidetracked.

That's great. Should I report back with findings or experiences as I do them, or just keep playing with them?

Thanks again and have a great night!
-Todd

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

Just post daily with whatever you've got.

Thanks!

[vegansatori]

Hi, Stacy,

Things have been a little strange the past few days. I have no idea if it’s coming up because of this work, or if it’s just coincidence. Either way, there has been a lot more depression lately, which I haven’t had in a while.

It almost seems like it’s an ego defense to keep me from practicing. But again, not sure if it’s related or not. It also seems like I'm working through some different unresolved stuff from the past.

Ironically, I listened to a Q&A by Richard Lang this morning where he talked about being able to be open alongside of the depression. And that kind of helped. At least for the moments when I was in that expansive state.

Today I haven’t had time yet to listen or practice those exercises. But I did more last night. And I did try the “All It Is” one multiple times while I was doing other things today. That one still seems to be the best so far in terms of creating an immediate sense of tingly expansion, and a feeling that all is okay with the world. Though I wonder if it's more that the content of the thought “this is how god is at this moment” leads to a mental/emotional letting go, rather than a direct seeing of something true and profound.

I tried doing the “Zoom in on Peace” exercise, and it was very similar to the Nurture Positivity, or Focus Positive technique that Unified Mindfulness teaches. I found that I had a hard time doing the actual zooming in, though. Same with the “Zooming in on Death” practice. But that was for very different reasons. That one didn't work for me at all. Once people said that they felt an expansive letting go, I was able to trigger it on its own. But it was in no way connected to the visualization.

I plan to try one or two others tonight, and I’ll be in touch tomorrow.

Oh, and I wanted to ask, whose workshop was this? I haven’t seen any descriptions in there yet as to who is speaking, or where it was recorded.

Have a great night, and thanks again!
-Todd

[Anastacia42]

Hi Todd

What's the Actual Experience of any emotion? Of Depression? Can you tell?

There's no need for stories about "ego" or "unresolved stuff."

Yes. You can also LOOK at the depression & see what is behind. Ilona has a video on seeing what behind "fear. " You could substitute depression & LOOK.

http://markedeternal.blogspot.com/2013/ ... .html?m=1

All of those IAM meditations work for me, but with some people different ones work at different times.

Once people said that they felt an expansive letting go, I was able to trigger it on its own. But it was in no way connected to the visualization

.

That's okay. That's great you can simply go there.

Oh, and I wanted to ask, whose workshop was this? I haven’t seen any descriptions in there yet as to who is speaking, or where it was recorded.

I usually don't disclose that. I know him personally & he lives nearby. He only gave that workshop once. He dropped teaching & went into an entirely different line of work. He didn't want to become anyone's "guru." Do. I respect his privacy, but I share these recordings.


You're welcome! Let me know how it goes.

Loving,

[vegansatori]

Hi Stacy,

What's the Actual Experience of any emotion? Of Depression? Can you tell?

I've always found that I could generally break any emotion down into a variety of different physical sensations appearing throughout the body. There are often some specific thoughts that seem to trigger the emotional/physical reactions. With this particular bout of depression (which thankfully let up yesterday afternoon), I could see the times when it would let up and I would feel okay, but then suddenly I'd be gripped by another contraction of it.

There is also a bit of a difference in the way that the depression manifests versus other emotions in that the depression has a feeling of weight, where it feels like I have so many pounds pushing down on my head, shoulders, and chest, that the biggest urge is just to curl up in a ball and shut down. It's still a physical manifestation, but it makes it much harder to do anything.

I watched Ilona's videos on the introduction to Looking, as well as the Fear one. It's an interesting practice. Something to try more, though I'm not sure how much belief to put into the answers I got so far.

I respect his privacy, but I share these recordings.

That makes sense, thanks. I just thought maybe I was missing something in there that told more about the recordings. I was curious what his background was and how he developed the exercises.

I've done all but the Release and Receive ones so far. Some work better than others for me. My problem with the visualizations where you have to zoom in, or track a thought back to where it came from, is that I feel like I’m mostly just creating new images and thoughts in the process.

I’ve done meditations where you watch a thought arise, and then observe and try to merge with the space that it dissolved into. But trying to reverse the process and anticipate what was there before the thought feels like I'm forcing it and just imagining things. I did try it a couple of times without success. I can do the one after the thought has dissolved, and it makes sense that it would disappear into the same place that arose from. Which shows up as a rather silent, restful state.

I'll keep playing with them, thanks!
-Todd

[Anastacia42]

Good morning,

Emotion is Sensation plus a thought you believe.

The thoughts are untrue. That's why you feel weight.

Can you remember a time when you lied to someone you love? How does it feel in your body as you remember? Is that feeling in the same "family of feelings as depression. Yes, it may not be as strong, but is it similar?


Our gut or heart will contract, feel heavy or tense in the presence of a lie.It will expand, feel light or relaxed in the presence of truth.

You don't have to believe me - check. This is the most important thing I can share.

I'm not sure how much belief to put into the answers I got so far.

Maybe you need to trust yourself more?

I was curious what his background was and how he developed the exercises.

He's done a lot of different things. You already know he was a Buddhist for 25 years. He went to school for a psychology degree. He had his own HBO comedy show once. He was curriculum director for Byron Katie's School for the Work many years ago & now he's in business for himself & doing very well.

He developed the exercises by playing with things *about* how we think, often while hanging out in a hot tub. NLP (neurolinguistic programming, which is mostly bogus, and other areas of psychology were looking into those things in the 80s)

that I feel like I’m mostly just creating new images and thoughts in the process.

Sure, kind of. but it works.

Which shows up as a rather silent, restful state.

Yes, done accurately, they all produce that. Excellent.

Use the ones that are doing that & go as "deep" as you can.

There are others I can give you.

I'm about to take a week vacation, but I can probably still keep up here.

Loving,

[vegansatori]

Good afternoon!

Emotion is Sensation plus a thought you believe.

That seems true by my experience. Though sometimes the thought is probably so fast or subtle that it's not even consciously noticed.

Can you remember a time when you lied to someone you love? How does it feel in your body as you remember? Is that feeling in the same "family of feelings as depression. Yes, it may not be as strong, but is it similar?

That's an interesting question. I feel them both in different parts of the body. There is contraction in both, but personally, I experience much more intense contraction from the lying scenario. Depression feels like a dense, heavy weight spread from my forehead all the way down through my torso, but ironically it actually has more of a relaxed internal feeling than lying. Maybe that's why there can be a subtle comfort in being depressed. That said, they're both in the family of generally unpleasant sensations, and they both have some element of heaviness and contraction.

Maybe you need to trust yourself more?

Quite possibly. I've had many problematic experiences doing automatic writing, and listening to the internal voice in the past. So I'm quite skittish about putting too much stock in it.

He's done a lot of different things.

Wow! You're not kidding! That's a wildly divergent life trajectory. Thanks for sharing!

Use the ones that are doing that & go as "deep" as you can.

Okay, thanks! I'll keep working with them.

I'm about to take a week vacation, but I can probably still keep up here.

Thank you! I definitely don't want to encroach on your vacation time. If you want to take a week off, that's cool. I can continue working with these things until you get back.

I hope you have a great time, wherever you're going!
Thanks again,
-Todd

[vegansatori]

Sorry, I also forgot to ask, when you say:

Use the ones that are doing that & go as "deep" as you can.

Do you have any tips on how to actually go deeper into the feeling? I find I can just be suspended briefly in it. But if I try to do anything, it just ends up creating more physical tension, either in my forehead, or squinting the eyes, or tensing up something in the torso, actively trying to sink. Even just the act of noticing it, and then remembering to sink into it seems to be a thought that reaffirms the existence of the looker.

Is the deepening done by just relaxing and letting it happen on its own?

Thanks for your help!
Todd

[Anastacia42]

Yes.

Let go. Surrender. Give up.

A beach in South Carolina with my sister & her family.

I love this stuff. I'll probably be in & out.

Loving,

[vegansatori]

Okay, great. Thanks for the clarification!

That sounds like a really lovely vacation week! I hope you have great weather.

Thank you, again, no pressure. If you have time, that's great. If you get busy having fun, that's also perfectly okay!

Have fun, and I'll be in touch soon!
Todd