The Gate

Hi Vivien

I am in awe. Everything is just happening all by itself with no one doing it. Life is totally effortless. It flows naturally all by itself. Wow :)

You did an excellent investigation :) yes, everything is just happening effortlessly. Not just no doer is needed, but not even effort.

Thank you :) yes not even effort because whatever is happening is just happening :)

Please experiment with these.

Can you choose the very content of the next thought? Can you choose willingly the next thought that will arise?

No I can’t choose the content of the next thought. Thought appears spontaneously. You never know what thought is going to come up next. Thoughts just appear. I can’t willingly choose the next thought that appears. If I could choose willing the next thought that will arise there would only be nice,happy thoughts ha ha

Can you choose to fall asleep?

No, falling asleep just happens. And you can’t stop sleep from happening either. When the body is tired it will sleep.

Can you find the moment / point / spot or realm where you choose to fall asleep?

Interesting question. No, I can’t find the moment. There is laying down with eyes closed. Usually I am awake for a wee while and then next thing I know I am awake again. It just happens.

Can you choose the very quality (tightness, openness, vibration, hardness, contraction, etc) of the physical sensation that will arise next?

No

Can you choose the next emotion, mood, attitude that will arise?

No, they just spontaneously appear. So you can’t choose to be happy or to not be angry for example. Saying ‘calm down’ is useless ha ha.

Sit and look at what is happening. Can you find any choice - point where you willingly chose any emotion that appeared in response to a stimulus?

No. There is no choice in what response comes up to a stimulus. It is automatic.


Thank you so much,
Tanya

Hi Tanya,

Nice looking.

Please spend as much time as you can in the midst of your daily life observing and noticing how the body moves, how it feels, what it does.

You can notice how the legs are moving as walking happens.

When walking, what do you do in order for the legs to move?

Are you making walking happen, or it just happens automatically and effortlessly?

When you sit down, or stand up, is this something you do, or something that is happening?

Notice all sorts of sensations in the body.
Are you making the sensations happen, or they are there, without anyone or anything making them to be?

When breathing happens, are you making it to happen, or it happens automatically without anyone making it happen?

When preparing food, or eating, washing your hands, typing, brushing your teeth, dressing up, are you making the hands move, or the hands just move by themselves?

Is there a central controller somewhere in the body, from where strings are pulled to lift the arms, and move the body? Or all of it just happening automatically?

Vivien

Hi Vivien,

You can notice how the legs are moving as walking happens.

When walking, what do you do in order for the legs to move?

Are you making walking happen, or it just happens automatically and effortlessly?

The body just seems to know what to do. I don't do anything in order for the legs to move.
Walking just happens automatically and effortlessly as does moving in a different direction if something is coming towards 'me'.

When you sit down, or stand up, is this something you do, or something that is happening?

It's just something that is happening.There is no doing or efforting.

Notice all sorts of sensations in the body.
Are you making the sensations happen, or they are there, without anyone or anything making them to be?

Sensations just are. For example a itchy sensation just arose and the hand itches it automatically. Sensations are definitely just there without anything making them be.

When breathing happens, are you making it to happen, or it happens automatically without anyone making it happen?

Breathing happens automatically without anyone making it happen. Most of the time you don't even notice you are breathing. So many things happen automatically. I never noticed that before so it has been interesting to look at this.

When preparing food, or eating, washing your hands, typing, brushing your teeth, dressing up, are you making the hands move, or the hands just move by themselves?

This was an interesting one. The hands just move all by themselves. I am watching this is action right now as I type this reply to you :) When you actually look at what is actually happening it is so obvious that there is no one doing anything. Being the doer is just an idea that was taught at a young age and was never questioned.

Is there a central controller somewhere in the body, from where strings are pulled to lift the arms, and move the body? Or all of it just happening automatically?

Wow, no there is no central controller somewhere in the body. There is no one behind the wheel so to speak. Somehow the body moves. All movement just happens all by itself...automatically,spontaneously. No doer or controller exists.

Love,
Tanya

Hi Tanya,

You did a really nice investigation :)

What is the difference between a happening and a doing?

Look around, all colours are given, they are happening. It’s not that the me-character can choose and make colours that are present into different ones. Or choose not to see green and see pink instead. Colours are happening. Shapes are happening. Sounds are happening.

What about sensations? Are they happening or the me-character doing them?

And how about feelings? Are they something the me-character does or something that is given?

Now look, what is not given?

What is not happening effortlessly and needs your doing?

Is there anything that is not just spontaneously arising?

Is the me-character doing anything in life?

Or is the me-character given? As an idea? Or as a self-directed, autonomous entity?

I know there are some repetition here, but I want to make sure that there is no doubt left whatsoever.

Vivien

Hi Vivien :)

What is the difference between a happening and a doing?

A happening is what is actually here like sensation,colour,smell,taste or sound. Doing is a thought or idea that there is someone making something happen. Doing is an idea that suggests free will,control or effort for something to happen.

Look around, all colours are given, they are happening. It’s not that the me-character can choose and make colours that are present into different ones. Or choose not to see green and see pink instead. Colours are happening. Shapes are happening. Sounds are happening.

What about sensations? Are they happening or the me-character doing them?

Sensations are happening. There is no me-character creating or doing them.

And how about feelings? Are they something the me-character does or something that is given?

Feelings just arise all by themselves. You can’t do happiness or sadness.

Now look, what is not given?

I’m not sure exactly what this question is asking but what is not given is that there is someone doing,controlling or making things happen. Even activities that seem to require a lot of effort like weight lifting or running just happen (quite interesting to see this)

What is not happening effortlessly and needs your doing?

Nothing. Everything happens all by itself. Doing without a doer is a phrase that arose while looking at this.

Is there anything that is not just spontaneously arising?

No, everything is just spontaneously arising. It’s just happening….circumstances or life has been living itself. Now I get the pointer ‘you have never done anything’.

Is the me-character doing anything in life?
Or is the me-character given? As an idea? Or as a self-directed, autonomous entity?

No, the me-character is not doing anything in life.
The me-character is not given. It is an idea or pattern of thoughts. It is more and more likely that who I have taken myself to be is just a story.

I know there are some repetition here, but I want to make sure that there is no doubt left whatsoever.

That’s ok it’s been good to look thoroughly at this :) There doesn’t seem to be any doubts about this. But if you spot anything I’m sure you’ll let me know.

Warmly, Tanya

Hi Tanya,

Even activities that seem to require a lot of effort like weight lifting or running just happen (quite interesting to see this)

I’m glad you can see this. Please continue noticing this.

It’s just happening….circumstances or life has been living itself. Now I get the pointer ‘you have never done anything’.

:) Great!

There doesn’t seem to be any doubts about this. But if you spot anything I’m sure you’ll let me know.

No, I haven’t spotted anything, but I think that our investigation wouldn’t be complete without a specific exercise I wrote a few years back. It’s about eating :)

Please put some chocolate (or something you think you shouldn’t eat or drink) in front of you. Look at it. Inspect it closely. Smell its delicious fragrance. And pay attention to emerging desire to eat it.
When the desire is there, pay close attention to the thought process.
See how thoughts list pros and cons why you should or shouldn’t eat the chocolate.
These opposing thoughts might even try to argue or convince each other what to decide.

What is it that is considering these options?
Is there anything that is listing the pros and cons, or only just thoughts appear about pros and cons? – look very carefully

Now, make a decision, but whatever you decide, don’t eat the chocolate (yet). Rather just pay very close attention when the decision is made. Particularly pay attention to thoughts, as the decision is made.

Let’s say a thought appear: “I decided not to eat the chocolate”
So the thought about the decision just appeared. What made that thought to appear?
Can you find the thing that made that decision, apart from the presence of the thought about the decision?
How exactly the decision is made?

Now, act according to the decision. (Either eat or don’t eat the chocolate.)
What is it that performed the chosen action?

I would add some additional questions to you to this topic.
Is there anyone here who is concerned about what to eat?
Or thoughts about concerns just appear on their own, unbidden without anyone or anything thinking them?

Regardless of a certain food is eaten (or not), is there someone being affected by that decision?

Is there someone who could suffer or endure the results of eating or not eating something?

We can look into this more if you want to.

Warmly,
Vivien

Hi Vivien! :)

Even activities that seem to require a lot of effort like weight lifting or running just happen (quite interesting to see this)

I’m glad you can see this. Please continue noticing this.

I will :) Totally amazing the intelligence that is functioning all by itself :)

What is it that is considering these options?
Is there anything that is listing the pros and cons, or only just thoughts appear about pros and cons? – look very carefully

There isn’t anything considering the options. I just notice thoughts listing the options and ‘unpleasant’ sensations.
It’s just thoughts appearing about mainly cons but a few pros. There is seeing of the chocolate bar and then the thoughts just appear. I don’t know where these thoughts come from.

Now, make a decision, but whatever you decide, don’t eat the chocolate (yet). Rather just pay very close attention when the decision is made. Particularly pay attention to thoughts, as the decision is made.

Let’s say a thought appear: “I decided not to eat the chocolate”
So the thought about the decision just appeared. What made that thought to appear?

I don’t know. There was reading the instructions above to make a decision and the thought ‘I’m going to eat the Moro bar now’ appeared. No one made that thought appear it just appeared.

Can you find the thing that made that decision, apart from the presence of the thought about the decision?

No. There is no thing that made the decision there is just the thought appearing about a decision.

How exactly the decision is made?

What I notice is a thought appears all by itself and then another thought appears and then maybe another thought appears with another option. But all of that is just happening...it just appears. I would hardly call that a decision and I can’t say I decided. The so called decision had nothing to do with me. Interesting :)

Now, act according to the decision. (Either eat or don’t eat the chocolate.)
What is it that performed the chosen action?

This is interesting. I can’t really say what performed the eating of the chocolate bar. There was just a movement to pick up the chocolate and there was the eating of it. Eating just happened. No one was performing the chosen action of eating the chocolate bar.I’m struggling to find the words to describe the spontaneity.

I would add some additional questions to you to this topic.
Is there anyone here who is concerned about what to eat?
Or thoughts about concerns just appear on their own, unbidden without anyone or anything thinking them?

Thoughts about concerns just appear on their own without anyone or anything thinking them. When there is looking if there is anyone here there is just silence...sitting here as this silence there is no one here. There seems to be a body here though.

Regardless of a certain food is eaten (or not), is there someone being affected by that decision?

No there isn’t a someone being affected. There may be thoughts about food and ‘anxious’ sensations but those are just appearing all by themselves. Thoughts and feelings/sensations don’t mean that there is a separate self here...there’s just thoughts and sensations appearing but no owner of them.

Is there someone who could suffer or endure the results of eating or not eating something?

No. This someone is not found.There is a body but no someone inside it. Suffering seems to only be possible if there is a belief that there is someone or something that is affected by eating or not eating something.

We can look into this more if you want to.

Yes, please whenever you feel it is appropriate to look at this more :)

Love,
Tanya

Hi Tanya,

Is it totally clear (110% clear :) that there is no such thing a chooser?
Is it totally clear that there is no such thing as choice or free will?
If not, please write some examples when it seems to be otherwise.

Yes, please whenever you feel it is appropriate to look at this more :)

Yesterday I had several ideas, but today nothing is coming. If you could write me about what beliefs, assumptions you have around the body, eating, exercising, gaining weight, or being slim, please share, so those can inspire me to formulate some questions.

Suffering seems to only be possible if there is a belief that there is someone or something that is affected by eating or not eating something.

Exactly! There cannot be suffering without the belief in someone who suffers. So any time when there is suffering, watch for the sufferer.

There seems to be a body here though.

If you are utterly clear on control, then we can start look at the body. But please make sure that there isn’t a shred of doubt about it. Rather spend a few more days on it if you need to then leaving any doubt behind.

Love,
Vivien

Hi Vivien,

Is it totally clear (110% clear :) that there is no such thing a chooser?

There is no choosing thoughts,feelings,what the body does or doesn’t do effortlessly/no doer of actions. There is no choosing words that are spoken or to speak or not speak. There may be options come up as thoughts and then an action may or may not happen but this happens all by itself. There is no chooser of actions or options. So yes it is 110% clear that there is no such thing as a chooser.

Is it totally clear that there is no such thing as choice or free will?
If not, please write some examples when it seems to be otherwise.

Yes,it is totally clear :) Life beautifully takes care of everything. There is no choice or free will

Yes, please whenever you feel it is appropriate to look at this more :)

Yesterday I had several ideas, but today nothing is coming. If you could write me about what beliefs, assumptions you have around the body, eating, exercising, gaining weight, or being slim, please share, so those can inspire me to formulate some questions.

There is an idea that I am in the visual appearance of the body although for the most part I don’t feel separate.
There is an idea that a certain amount/duration(time exercising) of exercise should be done and that 10,000 steps should be achieved most days of the week (sometimes that is not possible though)
There is a belief that there should be healthy food eaten most of the time and not too much food otherwise there will be weight gain.
Weight gain is seen as bad. This a conditioned idea. It was picked up from my mum,the media/social media. So the idea is that you should be slim but curvy in the right places. But bodies come in all shapes and sizes so this idea is not in line with actual experience.
There is an idea that the stomach should be flat and visible abs are desirable (another idea picked up along the way)
There is an idea that ‘junk food’ should be rarely eaten and I feel more comfortable eating what thought says is healthy foods.
Interesting that the above ideas appear when I see there is no choice or control...
I am sure the above is plenty of inspiration. I can see how it is all story also but would like to look at it to see through these beliefs.

There seems to be a body here though.

If you are utterly clear on control, then we can start look at the body. But please make sure that there isn’t a shred of doubt about it. Rather spend a few more days on it if you need to then leaving any doubt behind.

How can I tell if I am utterly clear on control? I can see what is spoken has no affect on circumstances. There is no controlling what is eaten or not. Actions are happening spontaneously - effortlessly...thoughts just appear. Whatever is going to happen happens..no one is controlling that. It is pretty clear there is no control. Are you picking up anything that still needs to be investigated in regards to control?

Love and lots of gratitude,
Tanya

Hi Tanya,

Sorry for the late reply, I couldn’t write earlier.

Are you picking up anything that still needs to be investigated in regards to control?

No, I haven’t noticed anything. However, it might come up more. But it a subtle way it can stay there, since every want or not want is essentially about control. Since when I want something, there is an underlying belief that there is a control over something, otherwise the want wouldn’t come up (or the not want).
So even when control is seen through, in a subtle way some remnant of it can left in a form of desire and resistance.

There is an idea that I am in the visual appearance of the body although for the most part I don’t feel separate.

I’m not sure if I understand what you mean exactly. Do you mean that the visuals of the body is me? That whatever is seen in the mirror is me? Or do you mean something else?

There is an idea that a certain amount/duration(time exercising) of exercise should be done and that 10,000 steps should be achieved most days of the week (sometimes that is not possible though)

Look for the one who has this idea. So don’t just simply look for the self, but for the self or me who believes that certain amount of exercise is needed each day.

What wants that?
Which sensation seems to be the one wanting this?

And look for the one who / what is affected by the result (the result of exercising or not)?

Next time when you do any exercise, look for the exerciser.
It cannot be the body, since it’s just performs the exercise. There has to be someone who wants or needs to do it.

So where is the one that NEEDS to exercise?
Look for the needer/wanter.

There is a belief that there should be healthy food eaten most of the time and not too much food otherwise there will be weight gain.

Who is it that is affected by weight gain?

The body can gain weight, yes, but is the body itself concerned about weight gain?
Does the body have any problem with its size or shape?
What is it that has a problem with size and shape?

Weight gain is seen as bad.

Bad for who?

Does the body labels weight gain as bad?

If there is a judgment then here has to be someone making the judgement.
Judgement is always on behalf of someone.
So look for the judge. Look for the one that is assessing the shape and size of the body and judging it good or bad.

This a conditioned idea. It was picked up from my mum,the media/social media.

Yes. But all ideas are on behalf of someone. So always look for the one whose behalf ideas and judgements happen.

So the idea is that you should be slim but curvy in the right places.

I should be slim or the body should be slim?
Is the body = I?

Just notice that with this idea there is a belief that the body is not just a body, but the body is an I, a me, an entity, or belonging TO an entity, and whatever the body is being labelled at (good, bad, slim, fat). that label is automatically applied to ME too.

Just notice that the body has no judgement whatsoever. Or does it have?

And what about the judging thoughts?
Take a judgment you frequently apply to or label the body. I don’t know what are your personal judgments, but let’s say it’s “I am fat”.

So take the judgement thought and investigate:

Does this thought “I am fat” know what it’s talking about?
Does this thought know anything about fatness or slimness?
Does this thought know anything about the size or the shape of the body?
Is this thought know anything about the body?
Is this thought even aware?

Just notice that the thought has (literally) no idea what it’s about.
It’s utterly clueless :)

But bodies come in all shapes and sizes so this idea is not in line with actual experience.

Yes, but when there is any judgment on the body then there is an idea that (1) I = body (there is someone identifying itself as the body), and (2) if the body is being judged as bad or unwanted, and that automatically means that I am bad or unwanted too.

So it’s not really about the body, but rather about the entity who identifies itself with the body. Can you see this?

There is an idea that the stomach should be flat and visible abs are desirable (another idea picked up along the way)

Yes, I hear you. I also had most of your beliefs :) and probably millions of women and even men too.

Look, who has a stomach?
What does the stomach belong TO?

If the stomach is not flat and beautiful, then who is actually being judged? The belly or ME?
Who has a need to have nice flat 6-pack abs?

Imagine, what it would be like or feel like if the belly would be covered by a 10 centimetres thick fat layer and it would be protruding over the pants. Do you have the picture? :)

Just notice whatever emotions and physical reactions (like sensations) come up.
Who/what is having these sensations?
Who or what is it exactly that is affected by this fat belly image?
Who is concerned?

Not just simply look for the self, but look for a specific self, like the one who is concerned, or the one who is ashamed, or the one who is fat, etc.

There is an idea that ‘junk food’ should be rarely eaten and I feel more comfortable eating what thought says is healthy foods.

Look for the one who has specific preferences to eat certain food.
So with all these questions it’s important that you not just generally look for a me, but for a specific me who has that certain feeling/emotion/belief.

Who is it that is not comfortable eating junk food?
Look for the one who is uncomfortable.

You can imagine eating junk food, and when the unpleasant sensations there, then look for the one who is uncomfortable, or whatever emotions are there.

Interesting that the above ideas appear when I see there is no choice or control...

Yes, this is what I meant above.

With every emotional wound which carries its own beliefs about myself or the world contains its own ‘self’. As if any emotional bubble has its own specific self, seemingly, (like the hurt-self, the unlovable-self, the unworthy-self, the angry-self, the I-cannot-trust-others-self, etc) that we carry around. And although the self in general is seen through, these emotionally charged selves stays there (apparently), waiting to be triggered and to surface to be met and accepted and loved, one-by-one. This is a clean-up process, which takes some time.

I gave you lots of questions, so probably it would be good if you could spend more time on this. So don’t have to reply tomorrow. Take as much time as you need to deeply investigate these.

Love,
Vivien

Hi Vivien,

Sorry for the late reply, I couldn’t write earlier.

No worries :) I didn't feel it was a late reply :) I realise you have other things going on besides guiding.

There is an idea that I am in the visual appearance of the body although for the most part I don’t feel separate.

I’m not sure if I understand what you mean exactly. Do you mean that the visuals of the body is me? That whatever is seen in the mirror is me? Or do you mean something else?

Yes I mean that the visuals of the body seems to be me. The image seen in the mirror seems to be me.

There is an idea that a certain amount/duration(time exercising) of exercise should be done and that 10,000 steps should be achieved most days of the week (sometimes that is not possible though)

Look for the one who has this idea. So don’t just simply look for the self, but for the self or me who believes that certain amount of exercise is needed each day.

What wants that?

I can’t find the self that believes that a certain amount of exercise is needed each day.The above is just a thought. But there is sensations that arise upon looking at this.

Which sensation seems to be the one wanting this?

There is tension/a scrunched forehead and tension/tightness in the chest. But the sensations are not the one wanting this...they are simply sensations. What is wanting this then? Seems like it just a thought about wanting.

And look for the one who / what is affected by the result (the result of exercising or not)?

The one who is affected by the result of exercising or not doesn’t exist. I can’t find anything that is affected. Also the tension is disappearing. No one is affected by the result.

Next time when you do any exercise, look for the exerciser.
It cannot be the body, since it’s just performs the exercise. There has to be someone who wants or needs to do it.

So where is the one that NEEDS to exercise?
Look for the needer/wanter.

Again I can’t find the one that NEEDS to exercise but ‘anxious’ sensations arise when looking at this. There just seems to be the habit of exercising. Actually that’s not true. Exercising just happens. I just find this body going through the motions to get ready for exercising and performing the exercises.

The needer or wanter doesn’t exist.I couldn’t find the needer or wanter as anything other than the thought/word ‘needer’ or ‘wanter’

There is a belief that there should be healthy food eaten most of the time and not too much food otherwise there will be weight gain.

Who is it that is affected by weight gain?

I really can’t find who or what is affected by weight gain. The body is here but there is no one or no who that is affected by weight gain. Interesting :)

The body can gain weight, yes, but is the body itself concerned about weight gain?

No, the body isn’t concerned about weight gain. The body is simply perfectly performing all the various functions for it’s survival. It has no opinion on weight gain.

Does the body have any problem with its size or shape?

No.

What is it that has a problem with size and shape?

Nothing...the one that has a problem is a thought.Sensations and thoughts arising simultaneously make it seem like there is a person when this is not being looked at sometimes.
There is just the appearance of this body. In actuality there is no judgment about the appearance of the body.

Weight gain is seen as bad.

Bad for who?

I can’t pinpoint who it is bad for. There is just colours,sensations and the occasional thought here. But none of those are who this is bad for.

Does the body labels weight gain as bad?

No. The body just is...no labels or judgments.

I should be slim or the body should be slim?

The body should be slim but it still feels like I should be slim.Hmmm but then again looking at it more it doesn’t make sense that what I am should be slim. There is a bit of confusion because what I am doesn’t change but this body changes and it seems like what is seen is seen from a point in the body but there is just seeing...no seer...no one doing seeing.

Is the body = I?

It seems like I am seeing from the point of view of the body. It seems like the body is I but there is ‘something’ that is aware of the body...the body is in or is whatever it is that is aware...it seems like the body might not be I but this is not 100 percent clear yet. Might be good to look at this further.

Just notice that with this idea there is a belief that the body is not just a body, but the body is an I, a me, an entity, or belonging TO an entity, and whatever the body is being labelled at (good, bad, slim, fat). that label is automatically applied to ME too.

Just notice that the body has no judgement whatsoever. Or does it have?

Yes I notice that the belief the body is an I or an entity so there is still the belief in a separate ‘me’.
Yes the body doesn’t judge at all...no judgement whatsoever. That is clear. So the body is not good or bad.

And what about the judging thoughts?
Take a judgment you frequently apply to or label the body. I don’t know what are your personal judgments, but let’s say it’s “I am fat”.

So take the judgement thought and investigate:

Does this thought “I am fat” know what it’s talking about?

No, I know the thought.

Does this thought know anything about fatness or slimness?

No.

Does this thought know anything about the size or the shape of the body?

No.

Is this thought know anything about the body?

No because thought doesn’t know. Thought is not knowing anything.

Is this thought even aware?

No,definitely not :)

Just notice that the thought has (literally) no idea what it’s about.
It’s utterly clueless :)

Lol yes, thought knows nothing.

But bodies come in all shapes and sizes so this idea is not in line with actual experience.

Yes, but when there is any judgment on the body then there is an idea that (1) I = body (there is someone identifying itself as the body), and (2) if the body is being judged as bad or unwanted, and that automatically means that I am bad or unwanted too.

So it’s not really about the body, but rather about the entity who identifies itself with the body. Can you see this?

Yes.That is why there had been ideas about changing the appearance of the body/improving the appearance because then there could be good feelings and ideas about the body = I would be good,whole and complete.

There is an idea that the stomach should be flat and visible abs are desirable (another idea picked up along the way)

Yes, I hear you. I also had most of your beliefs :) and probably millions of women and even men too.

Look, who has a stomach?
What does the stomach belong TO?

For these questions I went to the mirror and looked. There is no one who has a stomach and the stomach doesn’t belong to anyone. All there is is colours and sensations thought may label stomach but those don’t belong to anyone. Very interesting :)

If the stomach is not flat and beautiful, then who is actually being judged? The belly or ME?

The belly is being judged. I am not the belly.

Who has a need to have nice flat 6-pack abs?

This is a great question. No one does. There is no who. When I look for who has a need to have a six pack there just isn’t anyone needing flat 6 pack abs...there is just silence,colour,sensations...

Imagine, what it would be like or feel like if the belly would be covered by a 10 centimetres thick fat layer and it would be protruding over the pants. Do you have the picture? :)

Just notice whatever emotions and physical reactions (like sensations) come up.
Who/what is having these sensations?

This is interesting...there is just sensations appearing but they are not ‘my’ sensations. No one is having them.

Who or what is it exactly that is affected by this fat belly image?

It’s just an image.When I look for who or what is affected by the image there is nothing there.

Who is concerned?

Not just simply look for the self, but look for a specific self, like the one who is concerned, or the one who is ashamed, or the one who is fat, etc.

This is tricky. I don’t find anyone but there is tension felt. The more I sit here looking at this the tension is disappearing and the whoever is concerned is not found and doesn’t seem to exist.

Who is it that is not comfortable eating junk food?
Look for the one who is uncomfortable.

You can imagine eating junk food, and when the unpleasant sensations there, then look for the one who is uncomfortable, or whatever emotions are there.

There is tension in the forehead. Butterflies in stomach and anxious/tension in the chest and also frustration. Finding the one who is uncomfortable is proving tricky as all I find is these sensations.Then the question arises ‘Who do these sensations belong to?’ and what is found is there is just sensations belonging to no one. Sensations can’t be a someone who is uncomfortable. Definitely no one here...just these sensations.

With every emotional wound which carries its own beliefs about myself or the world contains its own ‘self’. As if any emotional bubble has its own specific self, seemingly, (like the hurt-self, the unlovable-self, the unworthy-self, the angry-self, the I-cannot-trust-others-self, etc) that we carry around. And although the self in general is seen through, these emotionally charged selves stays there (apparently), waiting to be triggered and to surface to be met and accepted and loved, one-by-one. This is a clean-up process, which takes some time.

Thank you that is good to know. I had no idea about what you shared above and it's good to know that if these emotionally charged selves come up it doesn't mean there is a belief in a separate self.

I gave you lots of questions, so probably it would be good if you could spend more time on this. So don’t have to reply tomorrow. Take as much time as you need to deeply investigate these.

Thank you :) I feel like it is good to be finally really investigating this to see the false as false and what is not actually there or happening.

Love,
Tanya

Hi Tanya,

This is tricky. I don’t find anyone but there is tension felt. The more I sit here looking at this the tension is disappearing and the whoever is concerned is not found and doesn’t seem to exist.

OK. Every time when there is a tension around eating / exercising or the body, look for the one that is feeling the tension. Find the feeler. Investigate if there is any other sensation that is HAVING the sensation of tension.

Since the feeler is often masquerading as another sensation, often in the head or the chest.

Look again and again and again. Even when the answer seems to be pretty clear, look more. This repeated looking and seeing is what is weakening beliefs.

Yes I mean that the visuals of the body seems to be me. The image seen in the mirror seems to be me.

But what is the I/self exactly? Self is thought to be the thinker of thoughts, the doer of deeds, the chooser, the decider, the experiencer, the observer and as that a tangible entity, isn't it?

Please go to the mirror again.
Is that image of the body the thinker, feeler, decider, doer, chooser, observer?
Or that image is just simply an image of a body?

How can that image be the doer, or the feeler, or the thinker?

What makes that image of the body in the mirror into a me (thinker/feeler/doer/decider)?
Does the image itself communicate in any way that it’s a me/I?
What is it that is giving that information?

If the body seems to be me, then there has to be something separate from the image of the body, identifying itself AS the body.
So where is the one that identifies itself as the body?

The body should be slim but it still feels like I should be slim.Hmmm but then again looking at it more it doesn’t make sense that what I am should be slim.

If the body should be slim, then it means that there is someone or something identifying itself as the body, and if the body is being judged by others in a good light, then I AM being judged as good.
So where is the identifier who needs to be judged as good by others?

If “I should be slim” then there is an I that beliefs that by being slim I can get something from others.
So who / what has a need to be judged positively by others?

Yes.That is why there had been ideas about changing the appearance of the body/improving the appearance because then there could be good feelings and ideas about the body = I would be good,whole and complete.

Look for the one who is NOT good right now?
Then look for the one that is NOT whole right now?
And then for the one who is NOT complete right now?

It seems like I am seeing from the point of view of the body. It seems like the body is I but there is ‘something’ that is aware of the body...the body is in or is whatever it is that is aware...it seems like the body might not be I but this is not 100 percent clear yet. Might be good to look at this further.

There is an awareness or knowing (as a verb) of the body, but is there something separate from the body being aware of it?
We will look at this later thoroughly. For now, just ponder on this.

No, I know the thought.

This is the same thing. There is the knowing of a thought, but this statement assumes that there is someone separate from the thought knowing of it.

There is a bit of confusion because what I am doesn’t change but this body changes and it seems like what is seen is seen from a point in the body but there is just seeing...no seer...no one doing seeing.

OK. So there is still a belief in a separately existing self/I in a subtle form. As the one that is aware an unchangeable. Do you see that this is still a belief in separation? Someone who is separate from the body and from the whole experience? We will come back to this later.

Vivien

What if this whole body thing is not about the body, but about me and others?

Love, Vivien

Hi Vivien,

OK. Every time when there is a tension around eating / exercising or the body, look for the one that is feeling the tension. Find the feeler. Investigate if there is any other sensation that is HAVING the sensation of tension.

Since the feeler is often masquerading as another sensation, often in the head or the chest.

Look again and again and again. Even when the answer seems to be pretty clear, look more. This repeated looking and seeing is what is weakening beliefs.

Will need to look at this when it comes up again. And look it again and again as suggested.

Yes I mean that the visuals of the body seems to be me. The image seen in the mirror seems to be me.

But what is the I/self exactly? Self is thought to be the thinker of thoughts, the doer of deeds, the chooser, the decider, the experiencer, the observer and as that a tangible entity, isn't it?

Yes,that is what is usually taken to be the I/self. What is the I/self? I don’t know. The I/self is not tangible really. It’s just an idea or thought.

Please go to the mirror again.
Is that image of the body the thinker, feeler, decider, doer, chooser, observer?
Or that image is just simply an image of a body?

The image of the body is not the thinker,feeler,decider,doer,chooser or observer. Yes it is simply an image of a body. You could even say it is just colours or not even that but you have to use words to answer the question.

How can that image be the doer, or the feeler, or the thinker?

It can’t be. It’s just an image.

What makes that image of the body in the mirror into a me (thinker/feeler/doer/decider)?

There isn’t anything actually making the image of the body in the mirror into a me. All that is actually experienced is colours.

Does the image itself communicate in any way that it’s a me/I?

No...wow the image is not a me or I. Quite blown away by this.

What is it that is giving that information?

Nothing is actually giving that information. Me/I is just a thought/label but not the actuality.

If the body seems to be me, then there has to be something separate from the image of the body, identifying itself AS the body.
So where is the one that identifies itself as the body?

But there is nothing separate from the image of the body. There isn’t the image and something identifying itself AS the body. There is only one not two. There isn’t one that identifies itself as the body. This one can’t be found. It’s not real...doesn’t exist.

If the body should be slim, then it means that there is someone or something identifying itself as the body, and if the body is being judged by others in a good light, then I AM being judged as good.
So where is the identifier who needs to be judged as good by others?

The identifier is only in thought. The identifier or one who needs to be judged as good by others is only a thought. There is no identifier.

If “I should be slim” then there is an I that beliefs that by being slim I can get something from others.
So who / what has a need to be judged positively by others?

Sat with this one for quite a while. At first there was tension/resistance appearing but more this is looked at the more it is seen that there is no one with a need to be judged positively by others.

Look for the one who is NOT good right now?

That one is not found...there is just what is appearing right now. That which is appearing is not good or bad.

Then look for the one that is NOT whole right now?

Whatever this is is whole right now :)

And then for the one who is NOT complete right now?

That one doesn’t exist. This is whole and complete right now.

It seems like I am seeing from the point of view of the body. It seems like the body is I but there is ‘something’ that is aware of the body...the body is in or is whatever it is that is aware...it seems like the body might not be I but this is not 100 percent clear yet. Might be good to look at this further.

There is an awareness or knowing (as a verb) of the body, but is there something separate from the body being aware of it?
We will look at this later thoroughly. For now, just ponder on this.

Ok :)

No, I know the thought.

This is the same thing. There is the knowing of a thought, but this statement assumes that there is someone separate from the thought knowing of it.

I like how you pointed to that. There isn’t someone separate from the thought knowing it.There is just thought appearing..no separation in that.

OK. So there is still a belief in a separately existing self/I in a subtle form. As the one that is aware an unchangeable. Do you see that this is still a belief in separation? Someone who is separate from the body and from the whole experience? We will come back to this later.

Yes I see this is still a belief in separation. It is good to see this as it is so subtle I didn’t notice this belief. Yes it would be helpful to come back to this later.

Much love,
Tanya

What if this whole body thing is not about the body, but about me and others?

Love, Vivien

That could be what it is. Since our daughter passed away in 2008 I have not felt completely comfortable around others. I don’t have much to say and feel uncomfortable/awkward because of that.Not as uncomfortable as I used to feel as I see I am not responsible for talking or not talking or having something to say or not...well that’s the story belief that comes up anyway.
Love,
Tanya <3 :)