Hi Tanya,
Sorry for the late reply, I couldn’t write earlier.
Are you picking up anything that still needs to be investigated in regards to control?
No, I haven’t noticed anything. However, it might come up more. But it a subtle way it can stay there, since every want or not want is essentially about control. Since when I want something, there is an underlying belief that there is a control over something, otherwise the want wouldn’t come up (or the not want).
So even when control is seen through, in a subtle way some remnant of it can left in a form of desire and resistance.
There is an idea that I am in the visual appearance of the body although for the most part I don’t feel separate.
I’m not sure if I understand what you mean exactly. Do you mean that the visuals of the body is me? That whatever is seen in the mirror is me? Or do you mean something else?
There is an idea that a certain amount/duration(time exercising) of exercise should be done and that 10,000 steps should be achieved most days of the week (sometimes that is not possible though)
Look for the one who has this idea. So don’t just simply look for the self, but for the self or me who believes that certain amount of exercise is needed each day.
What wants that?
Which sensation seems to be the one wanting this?
And look for the one who / what is affected by the result (the result of exercising or not)?
Next time when you do any exercise, look for the exerciser.
It cannot be the body, since it’s just performs the exercise. There has to be someone who wants or needs to do it.
So where is the one that NEEDS to exercise?
Look for the needer/wanter.
There is a belief that there should be healthy food eaten most of the time and not too much food otherwise there will be weight gain.
Who is it that is affected by weight gain?
The body can gain weight, yes, but is the body itself concerned about weight gain?
Does the body have any problem with its size or shape?
What is it that has a problem with size and shape?
Weight gain is seen as bad.
Bad for who?
Does the body labels weight gain as bad?
If there is a judgment then here has to be someone making the judgement.
Judgement is always on behalf of someone.
So look for the judge. Look for the one that is assessing the shape and size of the body and judging it good or bad.
This a conditioned idea. It was picked up from my mum,the media/social media.
Yes. But all ideas are on behalf of someone. So always look for the one whose behalf ideas and judgements happen.
So the idea is that you should be slim but curvy in the right places.
I should be slim or the body should be slim?
Is the body = I?
Just notice that with this idea there is a belief that the body is not just a body, but the body is an I, a me, an entity, or belonging TO an entity, and whatever the body is being labelled at (good, bad, slim, fat). that label is automatically applied to ME too.
Just notice that the body has no judgement whatsoever. Or does it have?
And what about the judging thoughts?
Take a judgment you frequently apply to or label the body. I don’t know what are your personal judgments, but let’s say it’s “I am fat”.
So take the judgement thought and investigate:
Does this thought “I am fat” know what it’s talking about?
Does this thought know anything about fatness or slimness?
Does this thought know anything about the size or the shape of the body?
Is this thought know anything about the body?
Is this thought even aware?
Just notice that the thought has (literally) no idea what it’s about.
It’s utterly clueless :)
But bodies come in all shapes and sizes so this idea is not in line with actual experience.
Yes, but when there is any judgment on the body then there is an idea that (1) I = body (there is someone identifying itself as the body), and (2) if the body is being judged as bad or unwanted, and that automatically means that I am bad or unwanted too.
So it’s not really about the body, but rather about the entity who identifies itself with the body. Can you see this?
There is an idea that the stomach should be flat and visible abs are desirable (another idea picked up along the way)
Yes, I hear you. I also had most of your beliefs :) and probably millions of women and even men too.
Look, who has a stomach?
What does the stomach belong TO?
If the stomach is not flat and beautiful, then who is actually being judged? The belly or ME?
Who has a need to have nice flat 6-pack abs?
Imagine, what it would be like or feel like if the belly would be covered by a 10 centimetres thick fat layer and it would be protruding over the pants. Do you have the picture? :)
Just notice whatever emotions and physical reactions (like sensations) come up.
Who/what is having these sensations?
Who or what is it exactly that is affected by this fat belly image?
Who is concerned?
Not just simply look for the self, but look for a specific self, like the one who is concerned, or the one who is ashamed, or the one who is fat, etc.
There is an idea that ‘junk food’ should be rarely eaten and I feel more comfortable eating what thought says is healthy foods.
Look for the one who has specific preferences to eat certain food.
So with all these questions it’s important that you not just generally look for a me, but for a specific me who has that certain feeling/emotion/belief.
Who is it that is not comfortable eating junk food?
Look for the one who is uncomfortable.
You can imagine eating junk food, and when the unpleasant sensations there, then look for the one who is uncomfortable, or whatever emotions are there.
Interesting that the above ideas appear when I see there is no choice or control...
Yes, this is what I meant above.
With every emotional wound which carries its own beliefs about myself or the world contains its own ‘self’. As if any emotional bubble has its own specific self, seemingly, (like the hurt-self, the unlovable-self, the unworthy-self, the angry-self, the I-cannot-trust-others-self, etc) that we carry around. And although the self in general is seen through, these emotionally charged selves stays there (apparently), waiting to be triggered and to surface to be met and accepted and loved, one-by-one. This is a clean-up process, which takes some time.
I gave you lots of questions, so probably it would be good if you could spend more time on this. So don’t have to reply tomorrow. Take as much time as you need to deeply investigate these.
Love,
Vivien
