Re: FreeWill444 let's do it.
Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 2:51 pm
Hi Ilona,
There is no doubt, or rather there was some but that's just mind reaction and I'm not getting sucked into it, it is clearing itself up though it might take a little while. I have no problem with that, just letting things happen. Same thing goes for the reaction of the mind to all this, there is some anxiety surfacing in relation to the whole, 'hang on, thing's aren't perfect? How come I can still feel fear? Etc etc' but now even though fear is still felt, it is seen as just that, fear surfacing. Oh, and there are periods where it is rememebered quite intensely there is no self, and that's quite pleasant,but one thing I'm learning is not to bother getting attached to these states/feelings etc, they all come and go, but the illusion is seen through, so there isn't nearly as much attachment/stickiness to emotions and thoughts :-)
There is knowing for sure that the illusion is just that, sometimes it is forgotten when the mind gets absorbed in itself, but its like there is a sort of background knowing the I is an illusion even when that occurs.
One strong desire that has been arising is to have someone to discuss all this with. I mean, I definitely wouldn't try discussing this with my friends or family, they'd think I was mad. It would be great to be able to talk about this, and make it even clearer and deeper, more stable. I know I'm talking to you about it Ilona, and I'm massively grateful, but I mean when we finish this thread. Will I still be able to PM you to ask questions and that sort of thing?
There is also a sort of greater openess about the future. Problems aren't really seen as problems anymore, just events happening, so life seems more flexible in a way. That too comes and goes, but that's okay. I'm just sort of flowing with all this at the moment :-)
Peace and thanks,
Genevieve
There is no doubt, or rather there was some but that's just mind reaction and I'm not getting sucked into it, it is clearing itself up though it might take a little while. I have no problem with that, just letting things happen. Same thing goes for the reaction of the mind to all this, there is some anxiety surfacing in relation to the whole, 'hang on, thing's aren't perfect? How come I can still feel fear? Etc etc' but now even though fear is still felt, it is seen as just that, fear surfacing. Oh, and there are periods where it is rememebered quite intensely there is no self, and that's quite pleasant,but one thing I'm learning is not to bother getting attached to these states/feelings etc, they all come and go, but the illusion is seen through, so there isn't nearly as much attachment/stickiness to emotions and thoughts :-)
There is knowing for sure that the illusion is just that, sometimes it is forgotten when the mind gets absorbed in itself, but its like there is a sort of background knowing the I is an illusion even when that occurs.
One strong desire that has been arising is to have someone to discuss all this with. I mean, I definitely wouldn't try discussing this with my friends or family, they'd think I was mad. It would be great to be able to talk about this, and make it even clearer and deeper, more stable. I know I'm talking to you about it Ilona, and I'm massively grateful, but I mean when we finish this thread. Will I still be able to PM you to ask questions and that sort of thing?
There is also a sort of greater openess about the future. Problems aren't really seen as problems anymore, just events happening, so life seems more flexible in a way. That too comes and goes, but that's okay. I'm just sort of flowing with all this at the moment :-)
Peace and thanks,
Genevieve