FreeWill444 let's do it.

[FreeWill444]

Hi Ilona,

There is no doubt, or rather there was some but that's just mind reaction and I'm not getting sucked into it, it is clearing itself up though it might take a little while. I have no problem with that, just letting things happen. Same thing goes for the reaction of the mind to all this, there is some anxiety surfacing in relation to the whole, 'hang on, thing's aren't perfect? How come I can still feel fear? Etc etc' but now even though fear is still felt, it is seen as just that, fear surfacing. Oh, and there are periods where it is rememebered quite intensely there is no self, and that's quite pleasant,but one thing I'm learning is not to bother getting attached to these states/feelings etc, they all come and go, but the illusion is seen through, so there isn't nearly as much attachment/stickiness to emotions and thoughts :-)

There is knowing for sure that the illusion is just that, sometimes it is forgotten when the mind gets absorbed in itself, but its like there is a sort of background knowing the I is an illusion even when that occurs.

One strong desire that has been arising is to have someone to discuss all this with. I mean, I definitely wouldn't try discussing this with my friends or family, they'd think I was mad. It would be great to be able to talk about this, and make it even clearer and deeper, more stable. I know I'm talking to you about it Ilona, and I'm massively grateful, but I mean when we finish this thread. Will I still be able to PM you to ask questions and that sort of thing?

There is also a sort of greater openess about the future. Problems aren't really seen as problems anymore, just events happening, so life seems more flexible in a way. That too comes and goes, but that's okay. I'm just sort of flowing with all this at the moment :-)

Peace and thanks,
Genevieve

[Ilona]

I can say from your post that you are through :)
Great stuff! Delightful.
You can write to me any time, I'm here for you.

We have a Facebook group for after gate, where you can meet new friends and address whatever comes up. :)
Are you on Facebook? If so, find me there http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001758165632

Lots of love!

[FreeWill444]

Hi Ilona,

Great to have what I felt confirmed by you :)

I'm sure I will have to write to you with questions from time to time, and I will definitely be joining the facebook group as soon as a I create an account. I'll send you a friend request under my name. I have a feeling this is just the beginning, I'm still adjusting to this new way of seeing (or not seeing) the world so it will be great to talk to others going through the same thing :)

Once again Ilona, I just want to thank you so much for your help and your guidance. It all seems so simple now but I couldn't have done it without your time and patience and your guidance. So thank you! :)

Peace and love (and huge amounts of thanks),
Genevieve