The Gate

when i try and visualize the room/s in my minds eye, I actually don't really get any images like in a dream. It is more just my memory that gives me specifics about the room and observing it as if I am back there. Like if you asked me to draw a picture of it, i would do it with my eyes open. My memory is not as precise as the real thing. The spacial referencing is pretty accurate.

Hi

My memory is not as precise as the real thing.

.
Yes! sometimes people also notice that the experience of looking is more specific, whereas memories tend to be more generalised. That is, you notice how the room appears RIGHT NOW, which may not be the same as how it looked on another occasion. Do you see what I mean?

Focus on the image of "Kerry", the separate individual entity, is it an image or an actual entity?
xx

yes, the here now is what's real.

the individual entity of "Kerry" are just thoughts and images in the mind, besides the physical body.

Correct!
If I was to tell you that Santa is real, would you see him in the room right now? Can you see the difference between the real and the imagined?
xx

No, i cannot see him. You cannot physically see the imagined. Just the direct raw sensory experience is real, or at least how the brain interprets that raw data for the individual body.

Just so!
and ... Self is imagined. You can look for the real self, but can it be found?
xx

i know the individual entity of Kerry is just a psychological self, but I do feel as if there is some sort of "real" self behind it. An aware knowing so to speak. But when looking, I cannot find it. There is no way to know with the thinking mind. The subject is not an object so it cannot be know by the brain. Just as the eye cannot see itself.

Hi Kerry

Self is imagined. You can look for the real self, but can it be found?

i know the individual entity of Kerry is just a psychological self, but I do feel as if there is some sort of "real" self behind it. An aware knowing so to speak. But when looking, I cannot find it. There is no way to know with the thinking mind. The subject is not an object so it cannot be know by the brain. Just as the eye cannot see itself.

The key here is to keep coming back to what you find in your direct experience, rather than what you think you already know, or what thoughts are telling you. We'll be coming at this from lots of different angles, as the guiding continues, s hat'll become more obvious.
You are spot on when you say:

But when looking, I cannot find it

I'm going to give you some exercises now which are about "learning to look" (ie, to look from your immediate direct experience).
Here's the first:
There is a big difference between knowing that there is nothing to give up and seeing that there is nothing to give up.

Here is an example to illustrate the difference:

If I ask you what colour socks you are wearing right now you have two ways to come up with an answer:

• You can have a think about it, you can think back to this morning and try to remember putting your socks on, and you can probably tell me what colour you think they are.

• Alternatively, you can take a quick look at your socks and tell me what colour they actually are!

Hopefully you would agree that you can only be 100% certain by looking.

For the purpose of our dialogue together, it is going to be very important that you are clear about this difference. Knowing is about knowledge which is all in the mind and we are not interested in that. We are only interested in looking at and seeing what is actually going on in your present moment to moment experience. We are only interested in your direct experience in the moment.

Does that make sense?
xx

yes that does make perfect sense. Thank you.

Hi Kerry,

yes that does make perfect sense.

good

Sit quietly and relax, take your time just looking at what is in front of you for awhile.
Observe how the mind is dividing and labelling every thing into objects and is embellishing them with stories about what they are.
Give it some time
Then, stop watching the objects as labelled objects. Just look at the seeing itself. Observe the pure process of seeing. This is direct experience (DE).
Let me know how you get on with this

xx

I actually have been practicing this. I get to a point of just pure observation/awareness with no thoughts. Just being. I see thoughts/stories arise, but then let them go.

Hi Kerry,

I actually have been practicing this. I get to a point of just pure observation/awareness with no thoughts. Just being. I see thoughts/stories arise, but then let them go.

Excellent
Next..
Here's an exercise that I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities simply colour/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought.
So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:-
Seeing a cup, simply= image/colour
Smelling coffee, simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought
Just break down daily activities into these categories (which are all actual/direct experience) and report back how you go.

xx Sioned

so actually say sound, thought, smell etc.

Yes. Don't forget taste too.

Just looking for the basic direct experience, rather than any thoughts about what's there.
Xx

Hi Kerry,
How are you doing?
xx
Sioned