Awakened not Enlightened

[Chantelly]

Hi,
a lot of energy today. Mind is pretty overactive. This was a hard one for me today.

How would you answer that?

I would answer yes, everything happens for a reason. On a much more zoomed out look, one we may never see or understand. Of course this enters the field of theory...

Is one happening the reason for another?

If all of us are not separate, we're all connected, I would say yes.

Is one happening the cause and another one is effect?

In the field of science, definitely. I spilled the wine, your shirt is stained. Cause and effect. Simply being in the moment to moment, there is nothing outside of the moment, like the video said, connecting the timeline backwards to make sense is what the mind does to fill in gaps. Does this mean there is no order? It is all chaos?

How do you see this?

I see that being within a moment, nothing connects. Time isn't linear as we perceive it to be. I don't understand that too much. I just know it to be true. And I can see the moment as it is purely of it's own existence for a split of a second before the story takes over but I do see on a larger scale how one thing may happen as a cause and effect, everything to happen for a reason. This is how I interpreted "it happened because it was time for it to be seen". Of course this is the mind delving into that statement: well why does it need to be seen? For what cause? I know there doesn't need to be a definite answer and that the mind will always question but in a way, that's my point.

Peace,
Chantel

[Chantelly]

Sorry if this has gone too far into the theoretical. Outside of this, I don't believe I have any more questions. =)
Thank you for everything,
Chantel

[Ilona]

Thank you for the answer. This stood out:

Does this mean there is no order? It is all chaos?

Both included. But there are natural laws, look around, do you see order or chaos? Do you see that nature has intelligence, like the oak tree grows from a seed of an oak tree, not from cactus seed. That there are changes of seasons, day and night, that there is natural harmony in the way that things behave. There are processes and exceptions, all is included. Chaos too.

Mind is included too.

So are you ready for the final questions?
If not, what is in the way?

Much love.

[Chantelly]

Good Evening

Both included. But there are natural laws, look around, do you see order or chaos? Do you see that nature has intelligence, like the oak tree grows from a seed of an oak tree, not from cactus seed. That there are changes of seasons, day and night, that there is natural harmony in the way that things behave. There are processes and exceptions, all is included. Chaos too.

Yes. Of course. All is included. It all is, it is what it is. It's so clear. I forget to look! It is so obvious yet so subtle.

So are you ready for the final questions?

I'm ready! =)

[Ilona]

Sweet! Here they are :)

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it ufully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Please answer in full, when ready.

Much love.

[Chantelly]

Hey! Just wanted to let you know, it's really hard to get to a computer Fridays and Saturdays but am hoping to answer the questions Saturday!
Peace and good night
Chantelly

[Chantelly]

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it ufully as you see it now.

The illusion of self is everytime a movement happens and the mind kicks in so quickly it's almost impossible to notice with the thought "I did that". It starts from a very early age as you become dependent of your parents. In my experience, it starts every time there is the habitual thought of "i", "my", "mine", etc. I made the coffee, I grabbed the creamer. There is only the need to look to see it is already happened and only the mind attached the I. It's a thought.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It's such a relief, liberating, beautiful. When this dialogue began it's like a different story entirely, clouded, confused. There was no understanding. Now it is very clear and obvious. The story the mind weaves continues but it is seen as just that, the story.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

The video that Ilona posted for me to watch and she said when you look who is there? And just the silence that she let ensue as she looked around made a slow click.

5) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

All these things present themselves but the outcome is already there. Things, thoughts are already arising and right there. "I" am not responsible for any of it. It just Is. Examples would be as simple as the coffee I made every morning instead of tea and tea every night instead of coffee. When considering, the thought has already come which is actually going to be drank. Only if the mind is allowed to really speak up does confusion arise. An un-necessary dialogue will chatter: well maybe I should drink tea instead, it has less caffeine, I do need to cut back, it stains my teeth, blah, blah, blah. Even when driving the car and deciding which route to take home. Already the path home is happening. There's no need to tune into the mind to see what arguments it wants to propose and muddle everything up. These thoughts are fine, they are there anyway and happening already, it's just that the path home is also already happening despite the idea that I can choose from these many thoughts occurring which way to go.

6) Anything to add?

The only thing to add may be for those who are just arriving here for the process: do not be afraid of loss. Nothing changes or can change if it's true. It's funny to think so once you realize it. If anything, it makes it all more beautiful.

[Ilona]

Dear Chantel, love your answers, especially the last one. Thank you for making it easy for me too.
Welcome home :)

You may notice that this is not an end, but rather a fresh beginning. Or both in a way. There is much to explore and re-examine. Feel free to contact me and talk to people in groups. And if you ever have a call to guide, that would be greatly appreciated.

Much love.

[Chantelly]

Ilona!
Thanks so much for all your help. It's been a pleasure speaking with you.
That is it exactly, a fresh beginning with much to explore with new insight and perception. It's very exciting.
I'd love to guide. I will Be with this new perception for a while and see what comes and when the right moment leads me to the guiding!
Thanks again for all
Chantel