please help me thru the gate

[GrahamB]

Hi Cathy.

please see i have been on this website since Friday and after initial laughter for hours, seeing there is no self, feelings of fear, feeling relief, fear again.
i see there is no need to identify as me but if i go into the past or future i feel freaked out. but, that again is imaginary, so of course there is no me to fit into an imagination.

Good noticing. 'You' are seeing that 'you' cannot go into past or future. The only way 'you' can go into time is in thought, in imagination via an imaginary 'you'.

Let whatever comes come; just look at it, even the fear. Notice that the fear is the result of what is being thought.

i am deeply contemplating everything everything you wrote and seeing it all happen without me.

Very good Cathy! You are doing well!

the quote thing is not working for me.

Ok. You can always put my sentences in speech marks or highlight them in some way.

can you be with me in the now anytime today??

Ok I am going to try to be here for a while with you now.

Love,
Graham

[GrahamB]

there is crying, laughing, feel like i may be going crazy if there is a me left.

There is no me! I can assure you Cathy that 'you' will not go crazy and are not going crazy. It is fine. The fact that there is no you can take some getting used too, but it is well worth while.

[cathy]

i just saw page 3. i've been looking every minute for your response,it was there and i just found it.
life is being and doing. there is so much anxiety here and yet it is not really attached to if i really look at it. on my, i've been working so hard on an imaginary self. just let life live, type, cry, feel, walk ,be without sticking a "me" in there. if i think one minute ahead there is a percieved problem. living is only now or there is "me" again.

[GrahamB]

life is being and doing. there is so much anxiety here and yet it is not really attached to if i really look at it.

Life is just life-ing. The anxiety may appear from time to time, but as you say no one there to attach to it. It is seen that that 'me' is just passing by - as a thought in the thought/sensation stream.

on my, i've been working so hard on an imaginary self. just let life live, type, cry, feel, walk ,be without sticking a "me" in there.

Lovely! Yes, an imaginary self working hard to become a different imaginary self. Pretty hilarious ay?

if i think one minute ahead there is a percieved problem. living is only now or there is "me" again.

[/quote]

Yep! That's it.

So, is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

[cathy]

So, is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
GrahamB

in imagination only. the thought is happening i may be detaching, depersonalizing or some such insanity.but that requires a me thought doesn't it.
there was only life being life ever. i just thought it was a me. or rather, the thought occured and it was believed.
there is crying , exhileration

[cathy]

there is also trouble percieved if there is any review of any teachings read in the past. trying to integrate any other spritual teachings all is just mind shit. no teaching makes any sense right now. there is fear again and no one there to grab it.

[GrahamB]

So, is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
GrahamB

in imagination only. the thought is happening i may be detaching, depersonalizing or some such insanity.but that requires a me thought doesn't it.

Yes. And we well know now that the content of thought is entirely imaginary.

there was only life being life ever. i just thought it was a me. or rather, the thought occured and it was believed.
there is crying , exhileration

Lovely Cathy! I have tears in my eyes here I am so pleased for 'you'.

I think you are ready for the final questions. I have already asked you number 1. Here they are:

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.

3) How does it feel to see this?

4) How would you describe it to somebody who is very interested, but has never heard about this illusion.

5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

[GrahamB]

there is also trouble percieved if there is any review of any teachings read in the past. trying to integrate any other spritual teachings all is just mind shit. no teaching makes any sense right now. there is fear again and no one there to grab it.

Yes, well said. I suggest you stay away from teachings -at least for a while. Perhaps take some good long walks in natural surroundings.

[cathy]

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.

3) How does it feel to see this?

4) How would you describe it to somebody who is very interested, but has never heard about this illusion.

5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

2)there is just life living and then there is the belief bought there is Cathy enforced by parents, other people, school. it starts with naming and the imaginary sense of self that takes credit for all that is occuring. there does seem a need to have this program to communicate but now there is seeing all around it, no identifying as "me"
3)a relief, free, body tingles, head expansion, grateful
4)how would i describe the illusion or the freedom? not sure the question.
5)seeing around feelings, thoughts, "me", finally not identifying with what was clearly imaginary.

[cathy]

es, well said. I suggest you stay away from teachings -at least for a while. Perhaps take some good long walks in natural surroundings.

thank you. it all looks like mind ^%$# right now. there is some fear about leaving the house and communicating. again, if i am one second ahead in mind, there is trouble.

[GrahamB]

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.

3) How does it feel to see this?

4) How would you describe it to somebody who is very interested, but has never heard about this illusion.

5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

2)there is just life living and then there is the belief bought there is Cathy enforced by parents, other people, school. it starts with naming and the imaginary sense of self that takes credit for all that is occuring. there does seem a need to have this program to communicate but now there is seeing all around it, no identifying as "me"
3)a relief, free, body tingles, head expansion, grateful
4)how would i describe the illusion or the freedom? not sure the question.
5)seeing around feelings, thoughts, "me", finally not identifying with what was clearly imaginary.

Good.

4)how would i describe the illusion or the freedom? not sure the question.

Yes, not a very clear question. I am not sure myself what it refers to. I copied the from our website.

4) How would you describe it to somebody who is very interested, but has never heard about this illusion.

I think 'it' refers to the illusion. Let's rephrase the question: How would you describe what you have seen to someone who shows interest in 'where you appear to be coming from"? How does that sound?

[cathy]

Let's rephrase the question: How would you describe what you have seen to someone who shows interest in 'where you appear to be coming from"? How does that sound?

there is just a looking around what i used to think was "me". a real willingness to stop every belief you have ever thought you knew to see. simply looking.

[GrahamB]

es, well said. I suggest you stay away from teachings -at least for a while. Perhaps take some good long walks in natural surroundings.

thank you. it all looks like mind ^%$# right now.

Yes, just some more advice on what 'you' should do. And of course there is now a knowing that there is no you that should or could do anything -except in imagination.

there is some fear about leaving the house and communicating. again, if i am one second ahead in mind, there is trouble.

Exactly who will be leaving the house and communicating!? The body leaves the house; speaking happens - so where are you? In an imaginary thought world again?

Exactly who can ever be in trouble again?

[cathy]

Exactly who will be leaving the house and communicating!? The body leaves the house; speaking happens - so where are you? In an imaginary thought world again?

Exactly who can ever be in trouble again?

yes, imaginary thought again. there can be talking, walking, speaking, no need to create a self in imaginary future to imagine worrying about.

[GrahamB]

Let's rephrase the question: How would you describe what you have seen to someone who shows interest in 'where you appear to be coming from"? How does that sound?

there is just a looking around what i used to think was "me". a real willingness to stop every belief you have ever thought you knew to see. simply looking.

Very Good! Just to let you know, this 'stopping' you talk of initially needs to be done consciously, but over time will happen automatically.