The Gate

Hahaha, you are no longer blind.
I can see that you are crossing nicely and what is left is to get your mind register what happened.

How does it feel to be liberated?

Not much really… still I cannot deny that something changed, something subtle.

There is a kind of fear that it might not be true, that some of what was written here was only coming from ideas I had from past readings… but still, I read back some of the messages we exchanged and I could see and feel how the perceptions I had changed.

Some kind of feeling of achievement is felt and that looks wrong… no one achieved anything but there is still a subtle feeling of pride about it that separates me from the others.

The labeling still happens, I saw someone passing near the window and there was the labeling “I see that person”…. Anxiety is appearing because there is the belief that no separation at all should be perceived.

In fact, nearly everything is the same, I feel some uncomfortable feelings (anxiety that happens sometime) but at the same time there is something else, a subtle lightness. There is also a new perspective with which the life can be experienced. In the past hour or so, during activity, there was spontaneous laughing and also feeling like crying…

I guess this is not the end of it, there is probably integration required.

Much gratitude to you Ilona for guiding me up to that point.

Oh yes, looks that you through. But, let it settle. Relax, take break, just rest from this. We will speak tomorrow.

The subtle lightness, yeah, it's gentle and real. And nothing changes, true. All is as it's always been. :) labelling included.

I'll ask you a few more questions tomorrow. Till then, dear friend.
Much love.

Ok I'll relax.

Much love Ilona

how is it going today? are you ready for the final questions?
much love.

I am doing fine and yes, I am ready for the final questions.

Great to hear. So here are the questions.
Please answer in full.

1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever? 

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.

3) How does it feel to see this?

4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion. 

5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look? 


Sending lots of love.

1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No there isn’t any me at all. There are only thoughts, actions and perceptions happening but there is no subject. All there ever was was things happening… but there never was a real me, only thoughts of me. There is nowhere where it can be found and it can’t be associated with something tangible.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.

Self/me/I is a label created by the mind for the feeling of existing and various other memories and feelings but it is really only a thought, a word. We are used to think in the way we are taught to speak in a subject –object kind of way where the I is linked to the object whether it is an action or a perception. The illusion of separate self is created by the use of the self/I/me thought, that is in itself only a thought for the perceptions of living/memories/feelings, to put it in relation with the objects of perceptions. That creates a sense of separation between the self/me/I concept and the object of perception. That creates a sense that one set of perception labeled “me” is the subject of other perceptions but really these are both perceptions without any subject.

That illusion starts when you learn to speak and think in a subject-object kind of way.

3) How does it feel to see this?

It feels quite simple in fact. There is a subtle sense of lightness. An inner struggle has settled down. There is also a kind of feeling of freedom but it’s strange how that doesn’t change anything really. Everything is still happening, but now there is space for it to happen.

4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion?

I would ask that person if they feel there is a self that is doing, feeling, thinking. Then I would tell that person that the illusion is that belief of “you” actually doing, feeling, and thinking anything. I would then ask that person to really look at their thoughts and see if they can control any thought. Is there a controller of thought, is there a thinker? If you look carefully you will realize there is nothing, no “you”, controlling or thinking, there is only thinking happening. There is only the habit of thinking that there is a you that is thinking, doing, hearing, etc. Actually everything is happening now out of nothing.

5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Part of the seeing was done, I saw that there was no subject in actions, thoughts and perceptions but there was still a feeling of me. That created a buildup of tension inside, a struggle for the mind to find how that was possible. Looking at the thinking as a labeling of reality and changing from the formulation “I see this” to “seeing this” revealed the relation of the I-thought with every other thought and how that relation was false. Also, I think that out of that struggle came the realization that there was nothing that could wake-up, the dog stopped chasing is tail.

Your answers are clear, my friend.
I'm delighted to welcome you home- to the natural living. :))

I'd like to invite you to unleashed. Are you on Facebook?


Is there any doubt at all?
Love!

I would be lying if I said there wasn’t any doubt. During and after writing the previous message there was the fear that it may all be wrong, that I may lose it. There was some kind of anxiety during the day and that anxiety created thoughts saying that I couldn’t be liberated if I still felt that. So there were alternate states between doubt and relaxing in the knowing of truth. Doubt and anxiety is quite common for that mind and I don’t suppose it should change that quickly. Nevertheless, there is space for all this to happen. There were many occasions of remembering or seeing the absence of self during the day accompanied with laughter or smile. Habits are probably not changed in that a short time.

I am on Facebook and I would be glad to join unleashed. I’ll ask to join just now.

I am grateful to you my friend for opening my eyes. I probably haven’t realized the depth of this gift.
Thank you, Thanks Life!!!

Doubt is a friend, not something unwanted. It is through doubt that doors open and fresh new seeing is possible. So I'd say test everything. Is it true- is the best question to ask in every situation of habitual thought.

There is time for deconstruction of old belief system. My only advice is hold on to
nothing, let whatever is falling off fall..


Lots of love.

Thanks Ilona, I’ll do just that

Love