Hi Billy,
we will find the answeres to your questions by looking in direct experience.
what happens when your faced with a decision that the illusionary self feels has to be made.
the illusionary self is an illusion, as the term already says, right?
how can an illusion decide something, do something, feel something?
can you find anything else than thoughts about the decision and a thought that says "I", "me", "my decision", "my life", ....?
But we have all made wrong choices at some point in our life and believed that was through analysing the choices given to us.
Was all that analysing a waste of energy?
Analysing is nothing more than thoughts, right?
Do you have control over thoughts?
Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?
....
do you remember this exercice about thoughts? we already did that ...
don't analyse ;-)
.... look in everyday life if it is the same here or if it was just a funny exercise ....
Would the wrong choice always have been made?
How does one prevent these wrong choices if one has no free will?
decisions are made, actions happen, thoughts are thought.
we can look here and now in direct expirience what is.
each "would", "could", "if" .... is nothing more than a game of thought, that also just happens. Who or what judges about right and wrong?
Are these thoughts true? Is any thought true?
Do you know the story about The Zen Master, The Boy, & The Horse?
In this village, a little boy is given a gift of a horse. The villagers all say, “Isn’t that fabulous? Isn’t that wonderful? What a wonderful gift.”
The Zen master says, “We’ll see.”
A couple years later the boy falls off the horse and breaks his leg. The villagers all say, “Isn’t that terrible? The horse is cursed! That’s horrible!”
The Zen master says, “We’ll see.”
A few years later the country goes to war and the government conscripts all the males into the army, but the boy’s leg is so screwed up, he doesn’t have to go. The villagers all say, “Isn’t that fabulous? Isn’t that wonderful?”
The Zen master says, “We’ll see.”
So this is also just a story, but a story that shows us something about the idea of true thoughts and what might be the best ....
Does one switch of to this chatter of the mind and allow things to materialise in its own time?
Do you have control over this chatter-thoughts arising or not?
Can you allow things? Do you have any kind of control over it? Or do they just happen regardless of whether there is the thought "its ok" or "its not ok, it should be different!"
... same thing again and again ....
looking again and again will make this clear!
your are doing well! all questions are wellcome!
as you already said: "This will take a little while to adjust."
love
verananda