If you are ready, come in..

[Ilona]

Ok, for today watch labelling process. Move eyes around your room. Notice that where attention goes, labelling kicks in. Notice what labels apear- some are descriptive, others trigger memory and story starts to be told.
Observe how thoughts label objects and how they label actions. Is there a labeller?

Write a report in the evening.

[MerlinC]

thoughts pop up as descriptions with flashes of mental pictures both made up and memorys tell a vivid story about what ever I see at the time. its more of a habbit of thought then anything else. no labeler just labels. actions are a means to an end. and objects are rated good or bad wither they make me happy or not same with actions.

[Ilona]

Great!
So now let's look at labels closer.

I breathe- breathing is happening. Is the first label truer than the second? Is there an I that does the breathing?

I walk- walking is happening.
I hear- hearing is happening
I move fingers- fingers are moving
I type- typing is happening
I yawn- yawning is happening

And so on. Play with this and see if there is an I in any action or it's just a label assumed for a doer.

White after some time you spend with this.
Much love.

[MerlinC]

its all happening without a controler. I find myself just watching what my body is doing and its all independent. when I want something done its already being played out with my body it would seem as if Im going along for the ride. Im begining to see how I is better left for language.

[Ilona]

Great stuff.

Have a look deeper here- when I want something done..- how does that work? Where does wanting come from? Is there a you that wants stuff done?

How does this work?

[MerlinC]

wanting comes from lack of something apart from what i already have. their is plenty of things I wish to obtain or do but alot are actions taken in responce to an event that I feel obligated to do out of fear of losing well being.

[Ilona]

How is it going today?

[MerlinC]

Good you ?

[Ilona]

Lol. I'm great.
Do you exist?

[MerlinC]

haha thats good to here. but all pointers lead to no I do not egsist but Im still the person I have always known even if it is just a story I cant shake it but I think I had some sort of glimpse because when I was working I felt as if the thoughts were apart from me still thare but I was completly fixed on what I was doing it felt peacefull.

[MerlinC]

I find the search for awakining its self can be a struggle. Asking what this thing is without knowing it is madning because ther isnt an answer to be found in the mind but thats all I have been tought to use. Is the search itself the problem it seems all the masters found it by accident. By the way thank you for helping me out with this.

[Ilona]

You are welcome, my friend.

Yes the search is the struggle because the searcher is trying to find home when he has never left home. It's a joke, because all that people are looking for its right here, always. And yet the search continues.

Now without avoidance and denial of what feels 100% true, answer the question.
Do you exist? Is there a you in any shape or form in reality?

[MerlinC]

I feel as I do exist but what ever it is I cant put a name on it, it just is

[Ilona]

Ok, kind of makes sense. But not quite.
What is the I that you referring to?

[MerlinC]

The experiencer, the person that blushes when he knows that a cute girl is looking at him lol.