Sweet! Here they are :)
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
5) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
6) Anything to add?
Please answer in full, when ready.
Much love.
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
Two dogs are born one is aggressive one is passive
You could say this is their "core personality"
You and me both have one these "core personality"
We each are as ug said a "unique flower or blossom of the dance of life"
You could if you wanted to label this core personality "true self"
But thier is no seperate entity that is picking and choosing
Thier is no separate entity that exists within.
and thier never was so no self no i no me anywhere
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The way my mind showed it was like this. Thier is stage one the preparation stage As a little kid i liked dragon ball z the main character is Goku. I literally pretended to be goku and run around fighting evil villains (pillows) but it was as real as it could be to me. I talked like goku walked like goku acted the same way he would. Then around 11 or 12 we enter stage 2 the forgetting stage. Entering high school i learned to be a tough guy. It was the same thing i walked like that talked like thaat but thier was one key difference. I forgot it was just an act i literally became that. Goku and the tough guy were both just playing pretend but i got so good at it i was able to forget i was pretending. Then stage 3 the irritation stage. Constantly keeping the pretend game going is exhausting thats why all our entertainment is centered around getting lost in a good movie video game woman or game. For some people it gets so bad they seek an escape aka enlightenment. Another way to describe this is That the world and everyone is a stage and your mind is a director it creates stories tragedy successes as you go along creating story after story label after label.
Describe it fully as you see it now.
The story is still their the mind as a director is still creating scenarios its just that a movie sorta hard to get into when you notice the bad acting.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
I feel like i have aged decades. Every week was like becoming a whole new person. In fact Im starting to even forget how i could ever even believe in a self. How does anyone believe their is a separate self i just cant comprehend it even tho a week ago i was their 2. It is very difficult to tell you how i have changed every day i sorta change i never knew i wasnt into drugs anymore till a week ago. New things jus pop up and i go oh wow when did that fall away. Thier is this deep sadness tho doesn't really bother me but it appeared yesterday.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
Jed mckenna. I was a hardcore Buddhist i believed in enlightenment my whole identity was built on that goal and believe.but after reading his book. I still remember the exact thought that collapsed everything.
"What if enlightenment isnt real" "What if the buddha is just made up"
Thats all it took everything was thrown into disarray
5) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
I shall give 2 example one logic and one personal breakthrough
You dont know your next thought therefore they are automatic
To make a decision between 2 things you think
Therefore decision=Automatic
If decision is spontaneous you had no clue you were gonna do that therefore automatic.
Now here is the breakthrough
I struggled with this even though i knew logically it was automatic. How could i got to the gym i want to go to the gym to improve myself but how can i do that if its automatic i keep putting it off and their nothing i can do to stop putting it off becouse its automatic. And then i "JUST DID IT" the nike slogan "just do it" I didnt think i just went to the gym it was like zen says riding the bull backwards. Or alan watts says like riding a bike one day your just doing it. i went to the gym my homework got done all of it was just happening. All of it done.
If we want to go more indepth i could say even choice only exists in the story or in your thoughts thier is only doing no such thing as a choice or decision. Just doing Just doing. Like when you drink water thier was a choice you could have not drank water. But do you really think that every time you drink water no you just do it. Your thoughts are what create that choice. Thier really was not one. Free will would imply a separate entity with agency and their isnt one. Free will is a concept brought up from the illusion of self
6) Anything to add?
THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!!!
Also the journey is far from over like shinzen young said. "today enlightenment tommorow mistake"
Now the real work begins.
Going to the gym
Studying
Going deeper into samadhi
And of course helping other people see this.
