the journey

[kvotski]

Oh, good.

Lets now relook at something you said some weeks ago.

This is a question that i have thought about on many occasions and I cant quite accept that because i do experience an ego a me although i do understand that if i break down my component parts there is no ME but on day to day basis i understand that I do exist .

I am involved in the Brighton Buddhist centre and do volunteer work there and also run a film night once a month as well as I am involved in a Going for refuge group. I also volunteer there as receptionist for a short lunchtime period. I am also rather depressed and disappointed by the politics and disharmony of the Buddhist centre and its seeming demise . I choose to remain involved believing there is more I can do to make the buddhist centre work again !

Now do you exist other than just a thought construct?

Do you chose to remain involved or is that a consequence of a whole series of interconnected thoughts?

Is there a you that can chose?

[Scot1234]

i wanted to reply to you today but im just not able to answer these questions . So ill respond again tomorow.

Scot

[kvotski]

Take your time.

It may help to expand the search to other simpler decisions you make on a daily basis like driving, cooking, eating, chosing pne food pver another, even walking taking one step after another. How are these decisions made?

[Scot1234]

I choose to stay involved ...its often painful, but it always comes down to the suffering being less than the benefits ...loosely.

Do i exist other than as a thought construct I think was your question:
I cannot say for certain that I do. it is possible that I and every one else is just a mental construct .

You were also asking about decision making:
Some of what i do i am making consious decisions some is automatic and some i cannot find a doer .

I hope that is clear

Scot

[kvotski]

I choose to stay involved ...its often painful, but it always comes down to the suffering being less than the benefits ...loosely.

Do i exist other than as a thought construct I think was your question:
I cannot say for certain that I do. it is possible that I and every one else is just a mental construct .

You were also asking about decision making:
Some of what i do i am making consious decisions some is automatic and some i cannot find a doer .

I hope that is clear

Scot

Hi Scot,

Lets focus on the doubts.

Aren't most of the body mind's actions to relieve suffering? Pay attention to your movements when you are seated. As you change your posture or scratch an itch, isn't it the same? What to look for here is if there is a decision maker.

Find when you are consciously making the decisions, give me examples after a careful and deep look.

Why is there a doubt about you being a mental construct? What else could it be? Give me some thoughts on this.

[Scot1234]

i am struggling to answer this question !

I believe i make conscious decisions a lot of the time and also there are a lot of times when it is automatic.
A good example is when driving, firstly I choose to take and get into the car , but not every actio9n ai make to do so is thought out and even driving there is a lot of autopilot taking place .

What i refer to as me is probably just a construct of the mind and as i am continually changing of evolving so is my minds construct or EGO.
There is clearly Nothing else it could be I am a figment of my imagination/Mind !

I am trying very hard to give accurate and genuine answers even though i feel the urge to give the answers that i feel are required by the questions .

x Scot

[kvotski]

i am struggling to answer this question !

I believe i make conscious decisions a lot of the time and also there are a lot of times when it is automatic.
A good example is when driving, firstly I choose to take and get into the car , but not every actio9n ai make to do so is thought out and even driving there is a lot of autopilot taking place .

Take a look at what you consider conscious decisions. Are they not also a result of many other factors?

For instance you may think you are deciding to get into the car to buy milk. But is that not bcuse you ran out of milk?

Take other more common decisions. Grab an apple and an orange. Look at them for a while and then pick one to eat. Now look at what happened? How was this decision made?

What i refer to as me is probably just a construct of the mind and as i am continually changing of evolving so is my minds construct or EGO.
There is clearly Nothing else it could be I am a figment of my imagination/Mind !

Why probably?

Is it a force of habit, conditioning based on false assumptions?

I am trying very hard to give accurate and genuine answers even though i feel the urge to give the answers that i feel are required by the questions .

Could it also be the other way?

You are reluctant in giving the right answer becuase you think you are giving in.

It may be okay to give in when you see what makes sense.

[Scot1234]

Yes many factors make up the decision making process.
It is of course because I know i am running low on milk .
My decision was made because I prefer apples and oranges are really messy and sticky but the orange is older than the apple so i want to eat it soon.
I like to hedge my bets PROBABLY give s me the option to be open to all possibilities .

[kvotski]

Yes many factors make up the decision making process.
It is of course because I know i am running low on milk .
My decision was made because I prefer apples and oranges are really messy and sticky but the orange is older than the apple so i want to eat it soon.
I like to hedge my bets PROBABLY give s me the option to be open to all possibilities .

So to be sure, is there a central controller making these decisions or is it happening like all other things in life?

How would you compare the activities in your life to plants growing, clouds moving, rain falling?

What are the other possibilities? Let us speculate.

What are the options which you are trying to hedge?

[Scot1234]

ignoring the first question because I struggle to find a clear answer to this .

My activities could be considered by an outside to be the same as these all though I believe my activities have a more complex decision/thought making process.

I cant follow this thread well enough to understand your final question, i can see it relates to one of my previous answers but I dont know which .

X Scot

[kvotski]

ignoring the first question because I struggle to find a clear answer to this .

My activities could be considered by an outside to be the same as these all though I believe my activities have a more complex decision/thought making process.

I cant follow this thread well enough to understand your final question, i can see it relates to one of my previous answers but I dont know which .

X Scot

All of them are related. It is about the controller or decision maker.

Yes, it is a process as you say not a single separate self making the decision.

Try going into your own past to decisions which may have been significant like a career path or family decision.

I will share my personal case when my late father was struck down with cancer. I had to make the decision not to opt for having him go through a difficult surgery which may or may not have been successful. Even though I was the point man, the decision was taken but by no one.

Examples where you may have some regrets are the best to analyze for this purpose. Most of us have a few what if's that we carry on. Truly seeing them as a natural flow of life is liberation.

Take some time with this.

[Scot1234]

I need to reply because ive sat with this for some time now and cant rely come up with much of a response .

I have spent a lot of time with anxiety depression. With Regret and turmoil over these kins of issues and I may be afraid to revisit them.

I do however understand I believe that there is not one decision maker. Nor can i find an absolute me . I exist yet i am open to the fact that maybe I don't .

I hope thats an ok answer all be it a little clumsy .

Scot

[kvotski]

I need to reply because ive sat with this for some time now and cant rely come up with much of a response .

I have spent a lot of time with anxiety depression. With Regret and turmoil over these kins of issues and I may be afraid to revisit them.

I do however understand I believe that there is not one decision maker. Nor can i find an absolute me . I exist yet i am open to the fact that maybe I don't .


Scot

Liberation is not worth having unless you can look at fear and regrets.

What is fear?

How is it different from other thoughts?

What is pain (non physical)?

How is it different from other thoughts?

May be is not good enough.

What exists that is open to the fact that it doesn't? Please describe him.

[kvotski]

Hi Scott,

I have found these couple of avenues to show the light on the absence of controller. Give them a try.

1. Go through your daily routine with the question in your mind, who is acting? While driving, reading, typing, moving, etc.

2. Take a few minutes to write down what ever activity is coming to mind, like i am looking, i am reading, i am walking ...make it exhaustive. Then rewrite the same things without the subject " l" for example, there is looking, legs are moving, book pages are turning, etc. Then writeown how you feel.

Share whatever comes up.

Please note that reliving hurtful past is not the goal, but seeing through them as being a result of numerous factors reduces our obsessive belief that there is a controller sitting here.

[kvotski]

A meditation on fear,

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=you ... 4os0IxmGv8