How to find peace that passeth all understanding

[Xain]

No, it is clearly seen that there is no I/ separate self/ person without thinking.

Ok - I will continue with our investigation with this in place.

Considering this or seeing things in this way i experienced 3 days of ever deepening relief

So it is clear, that this statement is thought-based. There is no real 'I' experiencing 3 days of relief.
Is that 100% clear to you?

I think this blockages and with it the false belief in a self . . .

This is thought-based as well. There is no real 'I' with blockages.
Nor is there any real 'I' with a false belief in a self.
Are these things 100% clear to you?

i just wanted to share this in the hope of speeding up this process...

Is there a hurry? Why?

Xain ♥

[Chitanand]

Thanks for your fast reply!

So it is clear, that this statement is thought-based. There is no real 'I' experiencing 3 days of relief.
Is that 100% clear to you?

Yes, this statement is thought- based. "I" is existing as a label in thoughts only.

This is thought-based as well. There is no real 'I' with blockages.
Nor is there any real 'I' with a false belief in a self.
Are these things 100% clear to you?

There is no real i with blockages or a false belief in a self. It exists as a belief only depending on thoughts and attatchment to thoughts. I will investigate that further today. Still i often use it as a term for conventional talking, to keep things simple. And it seems to exist still as a false belief. When "I" have to do something unwanted, there are reactions which would not be there without this belief.

This all is thought- based, that is 100% clear.

Is there a hurry? Why?

There are still expactations. I cant make them disappear completly since i have no control over them. And i am curious about this facebook- groups...

Ok, there is no real hurry, its just attatchment to thoughts...

[Chitanand]

Looking more closely i can see there is also no i as or in belief since it can not be found anywhere. There is only a belief or assumption of something that can not be found.

[Xain]

Looking more closely i can see there is also no i as or in belief since it can not be found anywhere.

So there is no 'I' in thought either?

Xain ♥

[Chitanand]

Yes!!
I feel a bit stupid of having seen this simple fact not earlier.
Your chatting here seems to be a very effective tool- bringing people to look more closely for an extended period of time.
I have to let this sink in more...

[Xain]

It's not real.
It's not a thought.

So what is 'I' then?

Xain ♥

[Chitanand]

It is nothing. It canot be found anywhere. There was an assumption that there is an i which stems from parents and other people telling this which is simply not true.

There is a strong relief felt right now and also the thought, that this insight is something very new and has to settle slowly in the body...(metaphorically speaking...)

[Xain]

It is nothing. It canot be found anywhere.

Ok, so 'I' cannot be found.
What CAN be found?

If you say 'I' does not exist at all in any form (neither as a thought, a belief, or as an inherent entity) and it's simply 'nothing', what are we comparing it to that DOES exist in some form or another (that IS something)?

Xain ♥

[Chitanand]

There are experiences of the 5 senses and thinking. Of course, this words are just labels.
Silence would be therefore the better answer...

[Chitanand]

PS. There is something more. Thoughts and experiences come and go. With it "there" is "something" which is not changing. One could call it awareness. It is not a separate self, because it has no borders.

[Xain]

I am sorry for the delay in responding, but I am unsure how to continue this guidance with you.
I think it best to speak plainly so you know where I currently stand.

The guidance is relatively simple, with me asking questions and you examining your current experience to see what answer can be found.
It was also requested to you that you should put aside all previous non-dual, religious and scientific beliefs and approach this very simply.

It seems that you are not willing to be guided. You seem to answer all my questions from previously conceived beliefs and non-dual study just in order to 'rush the process through' rather than go for an honest realisation which may take time.

I am not a non-dual teacher, I am a guide. I can only guide those who wish to be guided, and I am not convinced you are at that place at the moment.

Sorry for my bluntness, but this is where I feel the guidance is at the moment.
Xain ♥

[Chitanand]

Hi Xain,

thanks for your honest answer, altough it was a little shock for me!
I have always answered your questions honestly and from my own experience, why do you think that this is not true?
I can see it is difficult to examine where somebody stands by just reading a few lines but to assume that i am just repeating what i read or belief, seems not to be a good way either...
I was looking as deeply as i could to give you answers, to not waste our time. That you think so bad about it feels really not good.

I did a three year buddhist retreat 15 years ago with 14 hours of dayly practise, apart from that i had hardly any other interest for the last 25 years than to find out the truth. I feel not realized at all in any way, but to say that i have no experience about this path would also be a lie...
So what can we do? To built up trust we could have a skype call, if you like. I am very sincerely interested in being guided further, this dialogue has given me much already (in loosing the identification with self it has helped more than the 3 year retreat).
If you are not willing to continue, i would be also happy to work with another guide, in this case i would be very happy to continue with Ilona.

I am really grateful that you have taken so much time for this conversation and have shown me so many things- seeing the many "I" and "me" in this few lines, it feels not true, since a few days this belief in an I is seen as false- but if i start to look more deeply into what i write, i would write maybe nothing in the end or it would take so much effort...

I hope very much, that we will understand each other better, but if you dont trust me really, its maybe better to continue with another guide.

Looking forward to your answer
Stefan

[Chitanand]

Hi Xain,

Thinking about your posting I feel quite disappointed about where it went.
Maybe i dont look very humble sometimes in trying to be straightforward. But i am really honest and if you dont beliefe that, i think its better not to continue this process with you.

Actually i feel quite unsettled since a few days- since seeing clearly that there is no i- thoughts are racing and two times fears were coming up quite strongly for some time.
To tell me at this point, that you dont have trust in me and this process to continue, i find really less than unskillful.
Of course its difficult to examine another person by a few written statements, but to assume that he is not honest, is not a good start for a deep conversation.

Therefore i feel it would be maybe better to continue with another guide. I would like very much to work with Ilona, if she has no time now, I can wait also.
Maybe some female qualities are needed to built up some trust again in being guided.

Seeing the many "I"s again- maybe i take it all too serious and feeling unsettled dont look very closely at things right now, but I just want to share where i stay right now honestly with you. I hope very much you dont answer by pointing out all the contradictions in the words i am using- dont take this letter too literally...

Sincerely looking forward
Stefan

[Xain]

I will speak with Ilona.
In the mean time, I wish you well Stefan.

Xain ♥

[Nina45]

Hi Stefan,

I am happy to continue the guiding. I am afraid Ilona is not available. Is that ok?


It would be great to try this:

Close your eyes and "visualise" a mental picture of "you".

Please describe what you see in as much detail as possible.

Very best wishes

Nina
Xxx