Riding the Ox

[b0dhi]

Hey John

Just a quick reply to you. Completed the course and been on my travels back home. I'll be home from Monday and will write more once I am back.

You patience and understanding are appreciated.

The journey continues.....

Warmest regards

Bud

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hey John

Just a quick reply to you. Completed the course and been on my travels back home. I'll be home from Monday and will write more once I am back.

You patience and understanding are appreciated.

The journey continues.....

Warmest regards

Bud

No worries, looking forward to it. :)

When you get a moment, share where you are at.

Best wishes,
John

[b0dhi]

Hey John

Apologies for the long delay in getting back to you.

I'm not going to give any reasons 'cos they're all going to be excuses anyway :-) Thanks for your patience.

When you get a moment, share where you are at.

I've entered a strange zone.

At times I am free of my mind - the "me" is not there. I am liberated, free, present and completely here and now.

Then, at other times, I start to believe my own bullshit again - I start to listen to and buy into what the thoughts are saying.

When I'm able to become aware again that I've allowed myself to believe in the reality of "me" again, then I become clear. At other times things are much like before - I'm thinking my way through life, and trying to control existence.

This is a kind of schizophrenic existence. I'm not sure if I have not "seen" clearly enough yet, or if this is normal.

Need help buddy!

Looking forward to your wisdom.

Bud

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Bud,

Hey John

Apologies for the long delay in getting back to you.

I'm not going to give any reasons 'cos they're all going to be excuses anyway :-) Thanks for your patience.

No worries.

I've entered a strange zone.

Good. :)

At times I am free of my mind - the "me" is not there. I am liberated, free, present and completely here and now.

Then, at other times, I start to believe my own bullshit again - I start to listen to and buy into what the thoughts are saying.

Who's listening in?

Who's believing thoughts?

Who's thoughts?

Bud's?

Await the next thought.

While you're waiting, do you know what's coming?

^ check it out, slowly, precisely.

With best wishes,
John

[b0dhi]

Hi John

Who's listening in?

Who's believing thoughts?

Who's thoughts?

I don't know. I can't find anyone. There are thoughts, but no thinker.

There is no one home.

Await the next thought.

While you're waiting, do you know what's coming?

^ check it out, slowly, precisely.

There is emptiness - silence. I don't know what thought is coming next.

Hmmm.....

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hey Bud,

An experiment: see if you can believe your own bullshit...for 60 seconds.

Give it your best shot.

Best wishes,
John

[b0dhi]

John,

You got me there!

I can't believe my own bullshit!

How brilliant - it's all a sham, all smoke and mirrors.

So when I told you I believed my own bullshit - that's the only bullshit there is!!

This is seriously funny!

Wow - what a great experiment. Brilliant!

LMAO

Bud

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hey Bud,

:D haha

"So when I told you I believed my own bullshit - that's the only bullshit there is!!"

^ such a great line :) Stealing that.

So, can I suggest taking a day and just settling with this.

Then, share the experience of life as it is.

With best wishes!
John

[b0dhi]

Hi John

^ such a great line :) Stealing that.

Glad to be of service :D Lol

So, can I suggest taking a day and just settling with this.

Then, share the experience of life as it is.

Well mate - life is all there is, isn't it?

Thoughts are a habit, and awareness gets pulled into thoughts, into conditioning. Seems natural that this happens, I don't seem to be fighting it so much anymore.

There is less resistance to life as it is and more acceptance that life will do what it does.

There is still a "denial" that life is living me, some resistance to the truth is still there - but not all the time. It is like an oscillation between being free and then being caught again.

The attachment to the idea of separate self is dropping. There can be no going back to a permanent certainty of that - hence the first crack in the shell of illusion has definitely occurred.

Has there been a complete, Universe shaking, Earth obliterating demise of this self, of the "me"? No.

So does this happen in layers and levels? I know that what wants to know "what is next" is just thought seeking a ground of certainty - more things to think about.

Is the rabbit hole deepening? Is the veil lifting? Is the noose tightening? Is the truth awakening?

Who wants to know? The same old conditioning does. Yet these questions don't matter.

Maybe you can twist the knife and help crack that shell open wider?

Warm regards

Bud

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Bud,

There is still a "denial" that life is living me, some resistance to the truth is still there - but not all the time. It is like an oscillation between being free and then being caught again.

Well, here's the thing :)

Read your statement above, and ask - what is being assumed here?

Ta,
John

[b0dhi]

Hey John

Read your statement above, and ask - what is being assumed here?

There is an assumed separation between "me and living.

There surely can't be a me on one side and a life on the other. That only works conceptually, in my imagination. In experience there's only life. In experience there can be no trap, no prisoner.

Who is alive? I am.
Who am I? It can't be found. There is only aliveness, only life.

Life is, I am a "concept".

Why is there still resistance?

Befuddled Bud

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Bud,

Why is there still resistance?

Resistance to...?

Thanks,
John

[b0dhi]

Hi John

Resistance to...?

Resistance to accept the truth that I am describing.

I see it, but I'm not in complete acceptance of the truth. Hence the use of the term resistance.

Bud

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Bud,

Resistance to accept the truth that I am describing.

Give me one small piece of truth that is being resisted.

Thanks,
John

[b0dhi]

Hey again John

I like this back and forth, there's momentum.

Give me one small piece of truth that is being resisted

That I am not separate.

Bud