Getting Glimpses

[Ghata]

Dear Jissi,

what a beautiful walk with all things moving and Happening on their own. :-) And great to hear that your mood shifted and even sweet weren't attractive [the litmus-test for enlightenment ;-) ]

"Jissi, just look, or "just hear"...

Is there an entity that can do the "just looking, just hearing"? Or is looking and happening on ist own as well?

Lots of love,
Ghata

[Jissi]

You wrote, "is there an entity that can do 'just looking, just hearing'?"

Aha. No, just there's just the brain/mind secreting thoughts. The noticing that I'm not just seeing/hearing has *already* taken place, automatically. ??

[Jissi]

So the noticing that I'm not seeing/hearing happens automatically, then the brain secretes the thought "Look/listen", but that decision has already been made and I *do* look and listen. ?

[Jissi]

My world just sparkled today. It ran itself perfectly :-). I finally noticed really automaticity just about everywhere I looked, Ghata. It took a couple days for this to become crystal clear, but today there it was. People just peopling, some eliciting compassion because, sitting on the bus, they looked tired. I fell in love with everyone on the bus on my way to an appointment. How nice was that!

I've reached acceptance about some things in my life in the ten days or so that I've been on LU. Realized that given the causes and conditions in play, things could *only* have turned out as they did.

Truly "getting" no-self is far more elusive. I haven't meditated yet today, I'm about to, so maybe something will reveal itself. Tonight I'm frustrated. I *want* this-to get through the gate!

[Ghata]

Dear Jissi,

My world just sparkled today. It ran itself perfectly :-). I finally noticed really automaticity just about everywhere I looked, Ghata. It took a couple days for this to become crystal clear, but today there it was. People just peopling, some eliciting compassion because, sitting on the bus, they looked tired. I fell in love with everyone on the bus on my way to an appointment. How nice was that!I've reached acceptance about some things in my life in the ten days or so that I've been on LU. Realized that given the causes and conditions in play, things could *only* have turned out as they did.

Awesome :-). I am happy to hear that you are making peace with how some things worked out in the past.

Truly "getting" no-self is far more elusive. I haven't meditated yet today, I'm about to, so maybe something will reveal itself. Tonight I'm frustrated. I *want* this-to get through the gate!

Oh sure! It is not possible to get something that isn't there. No-self can't be found.

Can an "I" be found anywhere that is experiencing, thinking, controlling, acting? Have a good look.

Sending lots of love,
Ghata

[Jissi]

No, I see that the experiencing up is just happening and *then* the mind labels the experience, and the thought of I is generated. I see this. But I do not SEE it. Btw I sent you a PM with a photo of no-self, or rather no-selfie. ;-)

[Ghata]

Dear Jissie,

What do you think the experience of SEEING will be like?

Write freely, whatever comes up.

Sending love,
Christiane

[Jissi]

It was a friend's birthday today. We went out for a late lunch and she did some shopping. I kept checking in to see of there was an entity lurking anywhere. Could not find one. Checked behind my right ear: nope, no self hiding back there. I simply cannot find a self. What I do not have is an unshakable, cannot-be-unseen kind of seeing. I am still afraid of waking up deluded again.

There is nothing, rien du tout, nada, nichivo. Nobody there, no self.

When I look, I do not find a "me" in charge of all the doing. I find a body that moves or does not move, a brain/mind that secretes thoughts labelling what the body's been doing'; emotions felt, then also labelled by thought. No. There is no self. Nothing to be seen or understood. It's just not there because there's no "it".

At which point the mind says, "So what's all the fuss about?"

I think what helped yesterday and today was the JP video on no self. I'm paraphrasing his descriptions (I hope I get this right):

Think of a whirlpool in a vast ocean. If we think of this whirlpool as the localization of secondary energy, we can see the whirlpool as the felt sense of "I". The whirlpool slows down, until it finally ceases and all there is is the ocean, or primary consciousness. This made sense to me.

[Jissi]

This parallel of JP's is only partial. What I'm not feeling is that "I" have morphed into that vast ocean. I thought that when I could simply not find a self, I might have the mellow-yellow experience some others have had of feeling a part of everything and everyone. Although I did walk around for the past two days with a grin on my face, feeling like I was just the skhandas in process, and feeling warmly toward my fellow humans. And dogs, of course.

[Jissi]

Ghata, I am through this gate. NOW the clarity is here, crystal clear.

There.is.simply.nothing.there!

Tonight it's absolutely clear. No me. THIS was the crystal clarity I was hoping for. It's here. I'm *giddy*, a smile plastered all over my face. Now that I've tasted this clarity, there is no going back. Now I DO know that this cannot be unseen. I am positively giddy!

It was a slow unfolding over the hours since about noon. It crept up slowly but then it could no longer be denied. Suddenly it did just become absolutely, positively, crystal clear. Did I mention that I'm giddy? ;)

Btw, what got me there was your asking me at the end of last week, or maybe Saturday, to tune into the automaticity. Once it became clearer and clearer that EVERYTHING was on automatic pilot in response to causes and conditions, the rest just fell into place (though it felt like it took forever).

Did I mention that I'm giddy? This is what I'd hoped for. YESSSSS!

[Ghata]

Dear Jissi,

Ghata, I am through this gate. NOW the clarity is here, crystal clear.

There.is.simply.nothing.there!

I am delighted to read this and I love your giddiness :-).

Let it sink in further and tell me how life feels now? What is different and what is the same?

Sending love,
Ghata

[Jissi]

Nothing is different. Everything is different. But yes I will let it continue to sink in. The giddiness is great fun, but it's an extra.

I'm sure I'll have more to say later. I always do :-)

[Ghata]

Hi Jissi,

Yes, everything is the same and everything is different. I am looking forward to what else you find. :-)

Excuse me, I am not sure I get the word giddiness properly. Do you mean you feel light or is it dizzy? If it is dizzy, it will disappear.
You can picture the seeing as a major system update. Now some data are still lying around, fractured, and the cleanup of the hard disk hasn't been run yet. It will all happen on its own, no need to do anything special. Take it easy, that's all.

Sending lots of love,
Ghata

[Jissi]

Hi, Ghata-no giddiness is not dizziness, although I suppose under some certain circumstances one could feel both at the same time.

For me is was HUGE happiness, lightness, *astonishment* that I got through the gate. Wanting to tell everyone, but knowing that I won't-just a couple of people.

I'd given myself two weeks to investigate whether this process seemed worthwhile. I know now that I would have continued, even if I were still stuck. No matter what, I would have continued. It took eleven days, I believe. The process will continue to play itself out.

At the moment the laundry is washing itself. It will require assistance to get into the dryer ;-) ;-)

[Jissi]

I was absent-minded this week. Yesterday I went to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription and bought a couple of things. Got all the way home to discover I'd forgotten to pick up the prescription and had to go all the way back. I was off in la-la land, mindless. Today I forgot to take the dryer sheets to the laundry room. Then I decided to do a second load of laundry, only to discover when I put the second load in the dryer that l'd forgotten then again. *Laughing*

I also found myself spontaneously writing a note to the superintendent that whoever had cleaned the laundry room had done an awesome job and that this nite should go in the personnel file of whoever had done it. I've been very kindly disposed towards people all week.

And tonight when I was meditating, I noticed that the space of awareness behind my eyes was clear; it had lost the slight haziness that was there before. I have no idea whether this is a temporary phenomenon. It wasn't the very bright clarity of when I saw no-self, but it's nice.