Finally ready

[Una]

HI Linda,

I have noticed the word ‘no thing’ several times in your responses. Is this a learned term from some teacher or book? What is that in direct experience?

No, have to say this is all (my) own work...It was what arose for me when I looked - no gurus or teachers :-)

Is there a self that is the ‘experiencer’, the ‘doer’ or the ‘controller’?

No there is no self that is the experiencer, no self that is the doer or the controller.

Is there a self that ‘makes’ decisions, a self that thinks?

There is no self that 'makes' decisions, there is no self that thinks.

Is the "body" doing the actual experiencing or is it experienced?

The 'body' is experienced.

Is there doubt or unclarity that in all these cases the ‘self’ is nothing other than a mental fabrication?

I had to really look again at the question above ('body') but having done that in all these cases there is no doubt or unclarity that the 'self' is nothing other than an mental fabrication - a label in a thought explaining experience.

Is there a ‘Una’ that can be self-centered?

No there is no Una that can be self-centred.

Has there ever been a ‘Una’ doing anything?

No there has never been a Una doing anything.

Do you have any doubts or issue coming up at this point?

Still too much head and not enough heart....

Strong sensations followed by thoughts of frustration...

Where to now, Linda?

With love, Una

[LindaR]

Hi Una,
Beautiful to read your responses. Let's take a look at your last couple of comments.

Strong sensations followed by thoughts of frustration...

Can you get in touch with this frustration and sit with it, like you did with fear? Maybe see what it is trying to tell you? Report back what you discover (if anything), and be sure to include specific details on sensations being felt. We are shifting the focus from thoughts, to sensations, so this is important to recognize.

Still too much head and not enough heart....

Sure. You have spent xx years forming societal beliefs and concepts. These thought patterns can be tough little critters to ferret out. Seeing through the illusion of a separate self is one of the HUGE beliefs, and other beliefs depend on this illusion to operate properly. So once the illusion of a separate self is seen through, other beliefs will most likely start being recognized, and so exploring continues. For this reason, we have some post-gate groups, where support and further exploration is available. You and I can also continue to explore together at that time, in a different section of the forum, if you prefer a one on one setting.

Now, with that said, perhaps you would consider this scenario:

Imagine a very large, majestic tree with beautiful, vibrant green leaves. Look up in the branches and watch the woodpeckers peck at the wood on the upper tree trunk, leaving small holes in the tree. Notice all the beautiful birds in the branches, some working hard to build a nest, other just perched on a branch, grooming and chirping. Now notice the two squirrels chasing each other up the trunk of the tree as their tiny paws tear at the bark while they play. Then watch as storm clouds approach and a violent storm ensues. The majestic tree sways and bends as the wind blows, turning, stretching, and ripping leaves. Listen as some branches crack, and fall with a thud to the ground, from lightening hits. Then watch the storm pass and the tree become still again.

Consider carefully:
1. Was there any part of the above scenario that was NOT the single movement of Life? Was anything separate? Or was ALL of it one movement, one unfolding of Life? Was Life itself damaged or harmed in any way?
2. Did any of that movement show a preference for how Life unfolds? Would it have changed ANYTHING if the tree had a preference for how it unfolded? Would anything have been different?
3. Could it be possible that even “still too much head not enough heart” is not separate from the single movement of life, but is the movement of Life? Is it possible that ALL experience, no exceptions, IS the heart? What do you say?

Much Love,
Linda

[Una]

Good morning Linda,

Can you get in touch with this frustration and sit with it, like you did with fear? Maybe see what it is trying to tell you?

Not able to catch the 'frustration' this evening as the looking is happening, a sensation arises and then a thought of 'frustration' but it is seen as that -thought content - and so fades leaving the sensation,which is just experience.

You and I can also continue to explore together at that time, in a different section of the forum, if you prefer a one on one setting.

A kind and generous offer...thank you...

1. Was there any part of the above scenario that was NOT the single movement of Life?

No - it's all just Life happening, unfolding

Was anything separate?

No, separate is a concept, thought content - it is all part of experience

Was Life itself damaged or harmed in any way?

No harm or damage - again they are concepts/labels that are applied to Life to describe/make sense if 'it' but that's all.

2. Did any of that movement show a preference for how Life unfolds?

No - it just was.

Would it have changed ANYTHING if the tree had a preference for how it unfolded? Would anything have been different?

Laughing...No, no - wouldn't have changed a thing - Life would have just kept unfolding...Life is King...

Could it be possible that even “still too much head not enough heart” is not separate from the single movement of life, but is the movement of Life?

Of course... it's not seperate from the flow of Life happening - experience is everything

Is it possible that ALL experience, no exceptions, IS the heart? What do you say?

Crying...what is the heart?...the heart is Life/experience and Life/experience doesn't need protecting....

No idea where that came from :-)

With lotsa love, Una...

PS An Australian translation of your story:

Imagine a very large, majestic gum tree with heavily scented, dusky green leaves. Look up in the branches and watch the cockatoos shred the bark on the upper tree trunk. Notice all the beautiful lorikeets in the branches, some working hard to build a nest and, just below a sleeping koala, others are perched on a branch,grooming and chattering. Now notice the two possums chasing each other up the trunk of the tree as their tiny paws tear at the bark while they play.

[LindaR]

Beautiful to read, Una.

I am going to ask you our summary questions and then see what comes up. Just answer them honestly according to how it is being directly experienced:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail, as best you can, what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Just describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Please try to describe the process as best you can, even if gropingly. Here I would like you to give one or two practical examples from your everyday-life experience (even if there is no real 'you'!) What are you responsible for? (please don't forget to answer all parts of this question, Una).

6) Anything you would like to add?

Looking forward to hearing from you when you are ready.

Love & Warmth,
Linda

PS: LOVE the Australian version of the story. Thank you…Will keep it 

[Una]

Good evening Linda,

Just a quick note to let you know that my sister is visiting and staying with me tonight, so you probably won't hear from me again until tomorrow.

Love,

Una

[LindaR]

Thanks for letting me know, Una. Take whatever time is needed, no rush. Enjoy the visit with your sister. :-)

[Una]

Hi Linda,

It felt strange not connecting last night - like something was missing! So, tonight I'm just reading through our dialogue from the start. More tomorrow...

With love & a big smile, Una

[LindaR]

:-). Sounds perfect, Una. Looking forward to hearing back from you tomorrow.

Much love,
Linda

[Una]

Hi Linda,

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No, when looking there is no separate entity 'self', 'me'. 'I', 'Una', at all anywhere, in any way, shape or form and there never was.

2) Explain in detail, as best you can, what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Just describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of a separate self is a way of making sense of the world, of explaining contact and sensations - of coming into relationship with Life/experience. It arises, like a reflex, responding to a perceived threat - physical or metaphysical - 'protecting' and creating a sense of control over Life/experience. There is sensation and then a thought/thoughts arising to explain the sensation - it seems to come out of nowhere - this 'self' consciousness - and becomes the content of thoughts, the stories, until there is a distraction or the perceived threat dissipates and then the thought of an 'I' passes too...until the next perceived threat arises. The frequency of those responses is so great, so rapid they appear to be solid and real, so the thought of an 'I' becomes an I. But the thought of an 'I' is just that, a thought, a label in a thought - coming and going.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

There are 'mixed' feelings. There was the flash of seeing and relief that followed, but also 'is that really it? The sense of 'I' is just a label? Like 'computer' or 'body'? All that suffering over a 'label'! Looking back over the dialogue, the big difference has been the shift from 'head' to heart - the shift from just seeing the thoughts and 'thinking' about sensations to just sensing and seeing the thoughts for what they are - a commentary on Life happening, Life unfolding, experience. There is now a knowing that when the stories start, looking directly shifts perception back to just experiencing and relief.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Below is what I wrote - but moving on to the next set of questions I realise there is still too much head - I'm trying to think myself into seeing the Truth - sewing together flashes of experience to try to really see but they just fall apart...so more work to be done...

It was that exchange we had around head and heart - knowing that the shift from thinking to sensing was what needed attention - what needed 'looking' at and then seeing that: "the 'body parts' are another label and are as much 'I' as the 'computer'. Noticing the body parts and noticing the computer are the same experience - just labeled differently. And, yes, of course 'looking', 'hearing', 'feeling' are labels for sensations - but they aren't different each other or from experience, which just keeps unfolding and unfolding. It is all just experiencing. " - So, really looking at what was going on.

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Please try to describe the process as best you can, even if gropingly. Here I would like you to give one or two practical examples from your everyday-life experience (even if there is no real 'you'!) What are you responsible for?

No, decision, intention, choice and control are all just labels - concepts contained in thoughts that arise as a way of trying to make sense of/explaining Life as it is unfolding and happening.

I just couldn't take these reflections any further - it's like I see something out of the corner of my eye, but then as it's seen, it's gone. Over to you again...

Lotsa lovea and thank you again for your support and patience, Una

[LindaR]

Hi Una,
You are doing great. Lots of good seeing in all that.

The sense of 'I' is just a label? Like 'computer' or 'body'? All that suffering over a 'label'!

Bingo! What a hoot, huh! :-D

the shift from just seeing the thoughts and 'thinking' about sensations to just sensing and seeing the thoughts for what they are - a commentary on Life happening, Life unfolding, experience. There is now a knowing that when the stories start, looking directly shifts perception back to just experiencing and relief.

Beautiful.

Now, let’s look closely at a couple of items that came up.

No, when looking there is no separate entity 'self', 'me'. 'I', 'Una'

Is there a separate entity ‘Una’ ‘I’ when NOT looking? Is it anything other than a thought arising claiming an ‘I’ ‘me’ ‘Una’ when NOT looking?

…it seems to come out of nowhere - this 'self' consciousness - and becomes the content of thoughts, the stories...

Please take a close look at “this 'self' consciousness”. Is there a 'self' that is conscious? How does it manifest? What are its qualities? What is the direct experience of 'self' consciousness?
Remember to look in direct experience only. You will NEver, nEVer, nevER, NEVER, see this with thinking.

I just couldn't take these reflections any further - it's like I see something out of the corner of my eye, but then as it's seen, it's gone.

Okay, perfect. Let’s take another peek in direct experience. Try this:

Look at your hand closely.
Now wiggle your finger(s).

1. Did you notice a decision on which hand to choose or which finger(s) to wiggle?
2. Did the finger(s) wiggle side to side, up or down, corner to corner? Was there a decider/chooser on which direction, and how many fingers to wiggle?
3. Was there a ‘Una’ ‘I’ as a doer, decider, controller in any of that?
4. Is there anything that ever happens in Life that is not just happening?

With that exercise complete, how about giving the questions below another try? And this time look in direct experience, not thinking. And don’t forget to answer ALL of the questions.

Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Please try to describe the process as best you can. Here I would like you to give one or two practical examples from your everyday-life experience (even if there is no real 'you'!) What are you responsible for?

thank you again for your support and patience

No patience is required, it is an honor to look with you.

Love,
Linda

[Una]

Hi Linda,

Really really sensitive and helpful guiding thank you - there was a feeling of 'stuck-ness' last night that has shifted.

Is there a separate entity ‘Una’ ‘I’ when NOT looking? Is it anything other than a thought arising claiming an ‘I’ ‘me’ ‘Una’ when NOT looking?

Ha, ha - well spotted. No there is no 'Una' whether looking or not looking. THERE IS NO UNA...

Is there a 'self' that is conscious? How does it manifest? What are its qualities? What is the direct experience of 'self' consciousness?

There is no 'self' that is conscious or unconscious - there is no self.There is just sensing and sensations arising and thinking and thoughts appropriating and labelling experience creating stories of a self, trying to explain experience happening.

1. Did you notice a decision on which hand to choose or which finger(s) to wiggle?

I laughed and cried at the same time when I did this exercise. I wiggled my fingers before reading the questions so, didn't know what I was supposed to be looking for (i.e. no preparation or bias) and:

No, no decision was made - it just happened, the fingers on my left hand just wiggled. There was the the reading and then the wiggling, just happening.

2. Did the finger(s) wiggle side to side, up or down, corner to corner? Was there a decider/chooser on which direction, and how many fingers to wiggle?

They wiggled from side to side - all on their own - no decider, no chooser - just wiggling.

3. Was there a ‘Una’ ‘I’ as a doer, decider, controller in any of that?

No, there was no Una, I, do-er or controller, there was just reading then wiggling happening.

4. Is there anything that ever happens in Life that is not just happening?

Everything is Life/experience unfolding, happening, unfolding - nothing is separate from that.

Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life?

There is no decider, no intender, no chooser and no controller - so no decisions, intentions, choices or control to be made. There is just experience unfolding, sensations arising and thoughts labelling and trying to make sense of/explain the process.

Do you make anything happen?

There is nothing to make anything happen - no 'I', no Una, no maker. There is just happening, Life unfolding.

Please try to describe the process as best you can. Here I would like you to give one or two practical examples from your everyday-life experience (even if there is no real 'you'!)

I was sitting on the balcony, reflecting on the questions, there was the reflecting then there was strong sensation arising which appeared to be located in the body - that was the thought "this sensation is fear and this is in my chest and this wants to stop me from seeing", but with more looking there was just the sensation which was not different to the experience - there was just the experience, not attached to 'anything', just unfolding, happening. Staying with that, there was not difference between the looking, the hearing, the tasting, the feeling, the smelling - they were not seperate but all just part of the unfolding - there was just experiencing. There was no identifying of the sounds, the sights, the smells etc with anything - they just were happening. At the same time there was also the seeing that without labelling nothing is different, it just is in the experience - there is no difference between 'body' or 'gum tree' or 'child playing' or 'music', they are all part of the unfolding of Life, they are all happening.

Even the process of writing this, there have been strong sensations with the thoughts 'I can't do this, this is frustrating', then there is looking and seeing just sensation - shifting the perception - and then just writing unfolding and happening.

What are you responsible for?

There is nothing and no one to be responsible - there is no responsibility. What a huge relief, what a huge out breath.

Sending love with that out breath,

Una

[LindaR]

So beautiful, Una.

This “stuck-ness” you mentioned is very normal. It has been a habitual pattern to focus on, and believe, the content of thoughts as true. So identifying further beliefs, changing the focus to direct experience, and living from the heart instead of the head will take continued looking. A life time of beliefs don’t tend to crumble in an instant. The good news is that you know how to switch the focus now. And as I mentioned earlier, as stuck-ness and beliefs arise, and if you are interested, further support for continued looking is available.

At this point, since the illusion of a separate self has been seen through, I am going to have a few other guides read through our exchange to see if they have any additional questions. So I will be back shortly (may take a day or so) with either more questions or the next steps.

Much Love,
Linda

[LindaR]

Hi Una,
There are no other questions so I will send you a private message shortly with additional information. :-)

Much Love,
Linda