I'd like a guide - charlottez

[charlottez]

Armstrong
it was as you had said that awareness would arise the minute I decided to do this, and when the first thought arose the day before the horse day. Originally it was a dog ( the same colour as the horse ), but I became aware so quickly that it was my thoughts deciding on the dog and what was happening. So that is why I left it for a while and then as mentioned meditated the following and came the horse, no other animals no choices.

[Armstrong]

OK.

So what are you then? That is, in your experience, what do you do, control, etc.? Are you your body? Are you your thoughts or feelings? Do you control them? How?

[charlottez]

i am not a body or a thought i understand that is the illusion, thinking there is someone inside, but there is not.

[Armstrong]

Ok. Not the body. Not a thought. There isn't someone inside.

So what do you do, control, run, manage, etc? If you look at your experience right now - just after reading these words - can you see the thing that reads these words? Can you hear it? can you touch the thing that feels the ground under your feet (or butt)? Please take a look now and say.

[charlottez]

i have replied not sure why its not here

[Armstrong]

Ok, I just see yout short reply, so I would guess there were technical difficulties.

Could you please try again?

[charlottez]

I know I am not a body, or a thought that's the illusion we think there is someone inside. We believe we have control ( mind believes) we have choice but there is no choice, life is just doing life. We are not born and we do not die. The words are not real, the only real thing is what is on this moment and that is not choice.

[Armstrong]

OK.

Let's just skip to the final questions then. Please answer in terms of your "direct experience" - what you perceive right now:


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

[charlottez]

1 no
2 I me or mine is a word created from birth we believe we are that, but this is an illusion
3 i feel the same I have always been aware of this
4 suffering and loss
5 everything is just a string of thoughts, that are also illusion, mind is always busy, but when we are aware that we should not identify with the thoughts, instead we are just awareness in the background, I feel present almost all the time and when I am I feel this way ,my mind is clear and when your mind is clear there is no choice the right things happen as they are supposed to happen, I truly believe this to be true in my experience

[Armstrong]

Thanks. It may take a while to get some feedback, so please be patient.

[charlottez]

Armstrong you are very kind thank you for your time.

[Armstrong]

OK, so you wrote, "I truly believe this to be true in my experience" - could you please explain?
E.g. as I type this, I see the screen and my hands moving, hear the clicks on the keyboard and hear the traffic outside. That's my experience. I don't "believe" it - "know" would be a more appropriate word.

So what do you mean by "truly believe" and how does that relate to your direct experience?

Also, you wrote, "the right things happen as they are supposed to happen" - can you explain more? I'm curious about what "supposed to happen" means in terms of your direct experience.

[charlottez]

truly believe i guess i mean its a feling and i feel it
i do feel things happen to us as they are supposed to happen nothing is bad, and from bad there is alway' s good. There is it seems a path and allthat happens to us negative or positive its taking us along the path, nothing is supposed to happen it's life it it is just doing life, I hope i have answered your questions, and we all know nothing as there is i feel nothing to know

[Armstrong]

Is that answer in terms of direct experience?

[Armstrong]

I already wrote you this:

Please answer in terms of direct experience. If you don't know what "direct experience" is, I suggest you go back and listen to the audio again.

Given that you're feeling a bit confused, I have a request - after you do the exercises and come up with an answer, please read it an see if you are answering in terms of "direct experience". If you conclude that you haven't answered in terms of diret experience, please answer again, in terms of direct experience.

Take as much time as you need.

That is all still relevant. Please do as requested. Otherwise you waste your time and mine.