Hi James :)
There is no "I" that is in control of thoughts or feelings, they come and go by their own (usually in a response to something). And "I" thought is not there all the day (eg. daydreaming or sleeping), so then there is no control either. It's just sometimes when there is a thought that there is control about things. But I don't know the answer to the question. aargh.
You kinda answered it! :) When there is thought, 'I' claims it by suggesting it is in control, right? Just like you said,
'It's just sometimes when there is a thought that there is control about things.' That's exactly right! When there is a thought that says it's in control -
is it really? :) Thoughts don't control, do they? And 'I' is thought too, so that isn't in control either.
Do you have another metaphor because this one at this moment I don't get :) Or can you rephrase it?
Forget the metaphors. :) OK, thoughts of a lifetime are completely gone in this present moment, aren't they? Thoughts just come and go, as you have said. :) The ever-changing flux of thought is not our True Nature of who we really are - if they were they would be with us at all times but that is not in our direct experience . . .
what is here all the time is presence.
So answer the following: Are you present? Do you exist right now? Are you aware right now? Any doubt about that? What IS is what’s happening before you have a thought about it . . .that is what we truly are, without any self in the way. Just raw, direct experience. So, right now, just observe the experience in front of you without making it into something; without giving it any meaning. Is self there?
Yes, and that state shall last forever!! :3 Jokes aside, "I think" that no feeling lasts forever so that would be impossible. But in daily life "I" thoughts are frequent, this feeling is not. Is that a "problem"?
Not unless you make a story out of it, by 'thinking' it is :) Thought rises and falls. It is part of DE. The illusion is stories that the self tries to tell itself to make sense of the DE. Does that make sense?
Expectations are stories in thought. I cannot find them in DE.
Correct! :)
Yes or that mystical "click".
Tell me what the mystical click is going to be like, and then look for it in DE.
Is it there? Or is it another story you keep telling yourself? And one that is getting in the way of you seeing what you truly are?
So how is it really? You did "saw" through something or at least were sure that there is nothing else to see? On mornings when thoughts are quiet there is something like this "awareness" but it disappears during the day when I have to interact with people.
How is it really? Look at DE, it is there! There is nothing hidden from you. No conspiracy :) Your self is just adamant it has to see it in a specific way. But the self cannot see the Truth. The self is what is in the way.
Just look at DE and tell me what is there, right now?
There is nothing to physically see. It isn't like the sun rise in the morning, it more like a moment of realisation that there is no Santa Claus. Life goes on exactly the same, but with a new 'knowing'.
Think of it like this; there is a moment of Awakening, the moment when you realise that self is not real, it is just a thought that is persistent and obsessive, and that is all it ever was - then deepening, or some call it enlightenment, takes us further to clear more of our perception. Like cleaning dirty windows :) The cleaner our perception, the more we see our True Nature which is simple awareness.
So, look at the self and tell me is it real (in DE) or is it just thought?
Good work James :)
Tanya