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[ElPortal]

Hi Kelvin.

Good question!

But experience(or life) itself does have preference(or call tendency), right?
For example, the feeling of comfortable( not meaning anyone has the feeling).

So we have words, labels, descriptions: but let's look behind them to see if anything is REALLY there:-

1. Are preferences and tendencies the same thing or different? Tendencies: body has tendency to sleep when tired, it seems. But is this the same as preference? Water has tendency to run downhill, but is this preference? Or in both cases, is this just what happens (but with some seeming predictable pattern, so tendency)? Doesn't tendency suggest natural laws and .. tendencies? Doesn't preference suggest a mind or some entity making a choice?

2. There seem to be preferences, but can you find an example where Life itself, or experience istelf, definitely has a preference? Can you find any preferences which are not from the point of view of an individual, or a body mechanism, or animal?:-
eg The feeling of discomfort: does life have a preference NOT to feel discomfort? Or is Life comfortable with both comfort and discomfort?
eg Gazelle prefers to stay alive, Lion prefers to eat dinner, The 'Mark-mobile' prefers not to catch flu.. but can you show me how any of these are Life/experience itself preferring one thing over another?
eg Nature seems to follow line of least resistance (eg water flowing downhill and round rocks), but is there anything here preferring?
eg When body is born, or when body dies, can you find where Life itself/experience itself is having a preference for one or for the other?

Please examine these and more examples IN PRACTICE, and check whether you can find LIFE definitely having a preference in any of them? Can you find 'preference' which is more than a word? We use the word, but is there really anything more than 'what is happening'?

Warmly to you

Mark

[my journey]

of course Life/experience itself not has perferrence. Actually I mean tendency that's why I change the word. Because there are natural laws.

Back the summary questions

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No, no separate entity. There wasn't any.

2) Explain in detail, as well as you can from your OWN experience: what is the illusion of separate self, when does it start and how does it work? Describe it fully as you see it now. 

The illusion is created by beliefs and interpretation of experience. When experience happened, the belief of "I" or doer was "added" to explain what happened. Anything related to "i" is some thoughts and beliefs. The idea of "I" is linked with many memories and that's why it's difficult to see. since there's no separate entity, i don't know when it started. Actually I am at present. Can't think a lot.

[ElPortal]

Hi Kelvin

Great!

Actually I am at present

When you write this, just to be totally clear:
a) Who or what is at present?
b) Is it possible to be anywhere else?

Now, here are the next two summary questions:-

3) Seeing through the illusion of separate self: how does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
 
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look? 

Again, just answer honestly and from present experience.
(And please don't forget the two small questions a) and b) from your answer to 2).

Cheers

Mark

[my journey]

A) just the sense of at present, less thoughts.
B) always at present, even thinking happened now.

3) Before I came here, I know experience just happened by its own and no doer/individual is found already. No individual called "I" or " Kelvin" exist. Everything happened at the same moment, like a symthony.
Now, more clarity on the illusion/concept of individual self or "I". i still don't know what "I" mean because I can't find one but experience.
4)So I don't know what the last bit push me over coz memory is not vital, just some thoughts and becomes blur now.

[ElPortal]

Hi Kelvin

Thanks for those responses. They seem very clear. And now the last two questions:

5) Please describe how deciding, intending, choosing and controlling events in Life happen. Try to describe the process as fully as you can, even if difficult to express. Please don't forget to give some practical examples from your everyday life experience (even if there is no real 'you'!) What are you responsible for?

6) Anything you would like to add, or comments?

Once I have no further questions, I will have other guides read through your answers. This is our normal practice at LU. Once this process is complete you will be invited to our support forums, which can be really useful for further looking into residual issues etc.

Warmly

Mark

[ElPortal]

Hey, Kelvin

Hope all is well with you.
How are questions 5 and 6 going?

Cheers

Mark

[my journey]

5) Experience just happened , even the discoveries. Yesterday, when I went out for a walk. I suddenly saw the vision is continuous and fullness is felt. The focus on matter is changed. The space was seen rather than the matter. Usually we focus on the manfest, neglecting the large space. The vision is more vivid and 3D. Today I see things are floating with no ground. Still just curiosity about reality. Life happen at this moment, even the intention of controling is Life itself.
6) Still don't know what "I" means but discoveries are shown.

With Love,
Kelvin

[ElPortal]

Hi Kelvin,

Thanks for those responses. This time your language is not totally clear to me, and other guides may have difficulty understanding also. So could you please try to describe it a little more clearly.

a) In Question 5: please could you take an example of any recent (apparent) decision or choice, and take us through how the decision or choice seems to proceed, step by step. How does it all work?

b) In Question 5: could you please answer: What are you responsible for, and is there any individual truly there to be responsible?

c) In Question 6: what do you mean: 'discoveries are shown'? This is not quite clear to me.

d) In Question 6: you already wrote in answer to question 2 that: "Anything related to "i" is some thoughts and beliefs". Please look at your answer to Q2, and let me know whether you still feel this, or is it possible that there is a real I anywhere? Is "I" something real, or something imagined eg a concept, a thought?

Many thanks.

Mark

[my journey]

A)decision: for example, one day, it's cold. because it's cold, a coat is taken rather than a thin shirt. There's not a decision maker. Like when hungry, food is eaten.
B) Not responsible for anything. How come there's responsibility? Coz there's no individual.
C) discoveries is not a good word. Unfoldment of experience is better.
D)"Anything related to "i" mean my belongings(possessions, thoughts or beliefs). There is no "my belonging". "I" or everything related to "i" is a thought. "I" is imagined.

Kelvin

[ElPortal]

Hi Kelvin

Many thanks for that. Much clearer, at least to 'me' ;-).
I'll now have some other guides take a look and see if they have any questions.

Sending you love.

Mark

[ElPortal]

Hi Kelvin

No more questions from other guides. You should receive a private message from me. Please let me know if it does not arrive.

Warmly

Mark

[my journey]

Dear Mark,

It arrived but how can I reply it privately? When I click reply, I can see "Find a member".
Besides, nothing(e.g.status) changes yet.

With love,
Kelvin

[ElPortal]

Hey Kelvin

Status change can take 24 hours, sometimes longer, sometimes shorter.

Yes, message system is a bit complicated! From my message to you, when you press 'reply' then it says 'FInd a member', it should also show ElPortal. So just type your reply and send afterwards.

If it's too unclear, you can send me an email (to the address I gave in the private message).

:-)

Mark