There are some final questions - please have a go at them. They are the 'standard' questions after a guiding process:
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.
6) Anything to add?
1)Separate from what? Experience? No since its a part of experience not something separate from it.
2)Information gets sorted by the mind to make the story of self in the experience.
Thoughts, feelings, perceptions, there is not really exactly one entity governing them.
All neurons are working individually but they are highly interconnected.
The self is like a society. Where is society? Who is society? There is no entity or spirit of society, but society is form ed by the collection of different independent people and all.
Thoughts, feelings, perceptions all are in flux, there is no permanent essence or core.
5 years before me and 5 years after me is completely different both mentally and physically, where is any permanent personal identity in this?
A hit in the brain, and personality can get messed.
The brain is so complex, the information is so connected, everything measured in causal terms, compared with past experiences and familiar concepts, they are too interconnected and give rise to an illusion that there is someone behind it, a CEO who is governing all these. But there is no absolute centre just like an university, there is no absolute center to call it as an university.
The mind lies all the time to maintain a picture that it is sane and coherent and rational.
In cases of split brain patients, they go get a coke as the right brain was shown a picture of coke, but when asked, it is left brain's job to explain but the left brain don't know why so it lies and the one don't even realize.
We are doing similar stuffs all the time.
The root cause identification. The thought I comes first and it starts to identify itself with other thoughts and all other feelings. But thoughts come and go. feelings come and go. There is no connection no centre. And the thougt 'i' is just another thought which disappears and changes and come and go.
How I see it, no one sees anything now, things are just happening. There is only experience. Thought rises. Typing happens and blah blah blah.
3)All there is, is a memory of seeing it. How does it felt? Nothing. Exactly void of anything. As there was no identification with the processes going on. Difference? No difference. There is no strong sense of self in here for long enough. It is same empty silent void with unalterable peace.
4)I don't remember. I doubt my memory is distorted. I guess I had glimpses time to time. May be at that time I just looked, or may be I was thinking about time, creation, infinite regression, too much to blow my mind and with it the self and then I looked. Well wasn't I in that state all the time for the past few years after birth? It is return to my original state.
6) *silence*
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
There is will. Will rise and will fall. What is there for this will to be in bondage,
what is there for this will to be free?
Decision is clash of thoughts. The strongest thought backuped by feelings or logic or both win. Mechanical process. A lot of decisions are already made by the unconscious mind.
In an experiment it was found that the unconscious portion of the mind makes the decision 6 seconds before the conscious mind is conscious of it.
I looked at bed, and a thought rose up telling me to kick it. Just some random junk presented to the consciousness. But the thought lacked support of will, so another thought came up as the mind was under contemplation and started to question the thought, why the thought came up, who brought it up? Whoever brings it up, there is no me in this process,
it just happens.
I felt thirsty, went to drink water right now, and I walked, but did I walk, I was not giving any effort, my attention was fed to thoughts, but the walking happened, drinking happened.
A lot of works are again just reflexive, just reflex, I do it, but don't know why, because I don't do it, it is done, done by noone, just done.
What are 'you' responsible for?
Who?
Life happens. things just happen and it is backed by complex cause and effect things and with the inconcievable beginningless beginning and stuff, it is impossible to say anything.
Things just are things just happen. Just life doing it things. Life is flux.
From the flux from the criss crossing of life forces I rose up, and from the criss crossing I dissolved in it again.
Things just happen. Everyone moment is a miracle.