Yes, it happens all the time in the movies, theater, reading a book ... I see that, real experiences can also come from a story.The self does exist. It exists as a thought construct. A story. Do we have real, experiential responses to stories ?
Yes, I see this forgetting / remembering. I seem to remember in peaceful situations and forget in more demanding situations.an object and awareness is the same thing.
Beautiful. The subtlty of this is easily forgotten as the illusion of sepatate-ness is constantly reinforced with language and cultural norms. Simply remembering your experiencing of the music will be enough to re-member this reality. ..or immerse in any direct experiencing.
In a way I'm already trusting. My kids like stories at bed time. They enjoy new stories so I make them up. Before sitting in the bed I've no clue what the story will be about. Even as the story goes, I have no clue what will happen after ... but somehow, I come up with a good story! I'm not Shakespeare, but the kids enjoy the story and this is what matters.This happens to me when I trying to solve a problem, when I least expect it (e.g. in the shower) a brilliant thought comes with the solution.
Yes, and you will get better at this. It's a trust thing. ..and a relaxed knowing that this stuff just arrives.
Concerning the questions:
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
There is no self but there is sense of self. There was never self but sense of self. In a way I feel that I've always known this. When I contemplate this question it is clear that there is no self and it never was. However, in daily life I'm still taken by the sense of self. For me it is not (yet) the case that I use the sense of self intentionally to interact with other people.
2) Describe your experience of the illusion of separate self, how it arises/disappears. Is that process always the same, or does it vary, and if so, how?
It arises with the need to find what I am. It is like the self need to identify with something regardless with what. Sometimes the self is a thought, a bodily sensation and feeling ... It seem it does not matter if it is a positive or negative thought / feeling provided there is one. It is like there is the assumption that the self is there and therefore, it has to be something (regardless what). It is, like in 'The Real You' documentary, that given the available current experience-ing, find the closest experience with the self idea of itself. So, if I now know that there is no self ... why does it still appear? (e.g. why am I sometimes taken by the sense of self?)
It disappear when we look for it. If there is a Self it must be there, right. So, show me the Self! Also by realizing that a self is not needed for experiencing.
The process could be said that is always the same or that it varies depending how you want to see it. It is different in the sense that the sense of self comes in different flavors (thought, sensations, feelings). You could say it is the same in the sense that it is the process of finding the closest thing that the self could say it is itself.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
I'm a bit disoriented. Today for instance, I brought the car to the service. On my way back I realized how weird it was to own a car, or own anything for the matter. I have a paper saying that the car is mine, I know I bought it and I pay taxes and so on. It is like that the ownership relation is artificial ... on the other hand I'll feel upset if the car is stolen.
Another thing that is changing is the thirst for knowledge. At the very beginning of our conversation I wanted to know lots of things. Now it seems does it does not matter that much.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
I guess that everything contributes:
- the music experiment was great to experience perceiving without a self
- the left hand lifting experiment seemed innocuous at the beginning but then triggered some choice realizations
- the command of "LOOK for yourself" and subsequent fear
- choice realizations: choices cannot be traced back (e.g. drive to the museum, right-hand lifting). There are like a cascade effect in a real-time unavoidability.
5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.
I've had some glimpses on how decisions happen by them self. The real time unavoidability (real time in contrast to predetermination). However, I still have the feeling that I am taking decisions as I take them. Then I see that there is no self to take decisions and that I cannot trace back how the actual decision was taken, but is is more after the fact. It is like this brilliant ideas under the shower. I still have the impression that I'm deciding while doing the decision.
6) Anything to add?
In Germany it is tradition that the Easter Rabbit brings chocolate in funny forms (mainly eggs and rabbits) the Sunday Easter (tomorrow). Today my older daughter asked me if the Easter Rabbit was real or if we were the ones hiding the chocolate. This made me smile as she is also seeing the illusion. I told her the truth.
cheers
Jose
