The Gate

With that last question from another guide erah, please take some time to consider - look in the here and now, look at direct experience. Sit with that question and let it settle. Really look at it before you respond, and if there are any lingering doubts feel free to share them.

Much love

Ok Coffee - thank you so much! I will take some time to sit with it, and will write back :).
Best,
Erah

Hi Coffee,

Ok - looking deeply, here is my most honest answer: No - I haven't seen through the illusion of a separate self.

I have seen a few other things - for example, that nothing that is appearing here is in truth "me" or "mine - that things are just existing on their own - doing themselves - and there is no subject here that owns or operates anything (except as a mental concept). I have also seen that everything that is appearing now is existing within the same "space" sort-of-speak - nothing can be "cut out" of this wholeness and moved elsewhere to an alternate location - so in this sense, nothing is truly separate...

But this is the extent of my seeing. So in a way - I have seen the absence of a "self" and that everything is connected somehow, but I haven't seen the oneness of it all... that "this that is" - everything that is appearing here and now - all inclusive - is me.

Ok - my most honest response :). Hope this is making sense...

Thank you as always, and much love back :)

Erah

Hi erah,

Sorry about the delayed response.

Ok, so you see that there is this whole seamless experience with nothing separate including the story of you. I may have confused you by trying to tell you that "this that is" is you.

"This that is", is simple as it is. It doesn't need a "you" label, or a "self" label, or a "oneness" label. Of course, these labels are welcome to show up.

If we don't worry about the label, can you find a problem with "this that is". Is there anything missing, or could there be anything missing?

Much love

Hi Coffee,
Thank you for your message :). It has been a busy few days here - I apologize for taking so long to write back. But I am here, and I will write back shortly - as soon as I can. I did have a small realization to share that came out of what you have written - that I would like to share…
Much love and talk more soon,
Erah

I'll be here

Much love


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Hi Coffee,

Sorry again for the delay in writing - a busy week, and a couple more to come… But I just wanted to say hello, and share a thought I had after reading your last email… it’s not a direct insight - just an idea… I hope the content is clear - I’m experiencing a bit of a tired brain these days… :).

In my previous message, I described my observation that: “everything that is appearing now is existing within the same ‘space’ - nothing can be 'cut out' of this wholeness and moved elsewhere to an alternate location - so in this sense, nothing is truly separate.“ In response, you spoke of the “whole seamless experience with nothing separate.”

Reflecting on the experience that has led me to share my observation in the first place, I realized that this insight about seamlessness was originally an exclusively a visual insight - if this makes sense… I sat with my eyes open and just looked really deeply - and got the sense that nothing I’m seeing can be separated from anything else I’m seeing.

But after reading your words, it suddenly occurred to me that - of course - this sense of seamlessness must extend beyond vision, to include everything that is appearing here now (sounds, sensations, thoughts, ‘other people, etc - everything). This seems obvious as an idea - but experientially, I have only known this seamlessness visually, and all else still seems fragmented/separated in a way. This is not a problem - just something to investigate more - maybe?

Am I on the right track?

Thanks again - as always, and much love :)
Erah

Hi - I'm so sorry about the late response, I will do my best to respond quicker.

Yes erah you are definitely on the right track :)

I read your reply and it seems you are seeing what I point to, or at least looking in the right direction. (Of course, there's only one direction to look :-P)

You say you have only visually experience this wholeness. Maybe you can do an exercise or me and go eat an apple or some kind of fruit.

Is the taste of the apple separate from the crunchy noise of biting into it? Is the noise of the crunch separate from the visual image of a person biting into the apple?

Is anything about he experience separate? Or is it only thought that claims separation?

Do you see that there is no separate self experiencing the noise of the crunch? Do you see that the crunch is just a part of the whole, not being made by anyone or experienced by anything?

The crunch of the apple simply "is", and it "is" just as a part of the whole.

Just like in a sleep-dream, the sounds are not being experienced "through" the dream character in the dream.

Let me know how these pointers sit with you.

Much love


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Hi Coffee,
Thanks for writing me :). Your delay is truly ok - it’s actually been so unusually busy here, that I barely noticed the passage of time (until Paulo wrote me…!). And I need to apologize too for the delay in my own response - I think that the bulk of this busy period has now passed - so hopefully I’ll have more time to write now. I actually have been so busy, that I haven’t had time for real inquiry (i’m embarrassed to say - including your exercise…) - just behaving automatically as a “separate self” taking care of business :). But I’ve been missing this exchange and investigation… i’m going to do your exercise over the next couple of days and will write back to report. I hope that’s ok :)
All the best, and much love,
Erah

Ok great :) some of the other guides have recommended we we try to pick up momentum by posting everyday.

I'll be on every day now. No pressure for you though.

Much love


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Hi Coffee,

First - thanks for your understanding :). This past month has left me with very little time for myself - I definitely feel a bit behind, and see how to momentum gets lost - I'll continue doing my best to return here as often as I can :).

I followed your exercise - I was watching some cars, and it became clear, like you've suggested, that the sound of the cars could not be separated from the image of them or from their movement - it was all connected - I saw that. And in a way - I felt as if it was all just happening on it's own - without a subject here to observe it - I do get this sense sometimes in general. But then - at the same time - I still also feel like i'm here - if I'm being honest. When I look - I can't find anything that i can say with confidence that "i" am - not a body or thoughts or feeling etc - these are all "not me". but still there's a sense - just a formless sense - that "i am". I don't even feel - if i really look at it - that this "I am" belongs to anyone - that it's mine - it's just here, impersonal too - like everything else. It's as if this sense of self - even if it's a fiction - operates before thoughts somehow. i don't fully get how this works, but that's how this feels to me, and I'm not so sure how to proceed from here - it seems so persistent! :). Probably more investigation... I'll keep on doing the exercise you offered and see if the insight gets deeper somehow :)

Ok - just my thoughts for this morning :).
Thank you again, and much love,
Erah

Ok - one quick note... I just realized something - I was eating breakfast, and noticing how the crunching sound couldn't be separated from the sandwich I was eating, when it occurred to me suddenly that in the same way - the "I" too cannot be separated from the crunching sound - as the "i" and the sandwich are all here together too... So in a way - the "i" (whether it exists or not...) cannot be separated from anything that is here now - everything that's here is a part of it. Just wanted to put this in writing so that I don't forget - this insight was so fleeting... :). Ok - I'll keep on the investigating!
Much love :).

Hi Coffee,

First - thanks for your understanding :). This past month has left me with very little time for myself - I definitely feel a bit behind, and see how to momentum gets lost - I'll continue doing my best to return here as often as I can :).

No problem. I'll post everyday, just post as often as you can, but try to pick up momentum if you can :) you are looking well and I believe you are closer than you think.

I followed your exercise - I was watching some cars, and it became clear, like you've suggested, that the sound of the cars could not be separated from the image of them or from their movement - it was all connected - I saw that. And in a way - I felt as if it was all just happening on it's own - without a subject here to observe it - I do get this sense sometimes in general. But then - at the same time - I still also feel like i'm here - if I'm being honest. When I look - I can't find anything that i can say with confidence that "i" am - not a body or thoughts or feeling etc - these are all "not me". but still there's a sense - just a formless sense - that "i am". I don't even feel - if i really look at it - that this "I am" belongs to anyone - that it's mine - it's just here, impersonal too - like everything else. It's as if this sense of self - even if it's a fiction - operates before thoughts somehow. i don't fully get how this works, but that's how this feels to me, and I'm not so sure how to proceed from here - it seems so persistent! :). Probably more investigation... I'll keep on doing the exercise you offered and see if the insight gets deeper somehow :)

Yes, there is a feeling of "I am", there is a sense of beingness. However, what is shown here is that this feeling of "beingness" is not separate from anything else. It is one seamless happening, NOTHING is truly separate.

Complete and total interdependence of everything.

Ok - one quick note... I just realized something - I was eating breakfast, and noticing how the crunching sound couldn't be separated from the sandwich I was eating, when it occurred to me suddenly that in the same way - the "I" too cannot be separated from the crunching sound - as the "i" and the sandwich are all here together too... So in a way - the "i" (whether it exists or not...) cannot be separated from anything that is here now - everything that's here is a part of it. Just wanted to put this in writing so that I don't forget - this insight was so fleeting... :). Ok - I'll keep on the investigating!
Much love :).

Yes, so this feeling of "I", it is just a sensation, a knowing of the sandwich being eaten. It is a sense that what is showing up is already known.

So, if you see that everything being experienced is one happening, nothing can be separated from the knowing of it...

What is stopping you from feeling "truly awakened"? Are you waiting for a "special" experience? What do you imagine it to be like?

Here we show you the indivisibleness of "this that is". It seems you see this, but then a thought will say "this can't be it, there must be more". Take the moment to look now, what is lacking? What needs to be found?

Is there anything that you don't know? Or is everything already known, and the only things claiming to be unknown are thoughts that appear in the now?

I think that last question is a good pointer :)

Much love

Hi Coffee :). Thanks for your comments, as always! Here's what came to me after reading your message:

You said that the only thing that is claiming that something is unknown are thoughts that appear in the now. Well - in a way, that's correct - I do know everything, because in the most concrete, direct sense - everything that is appearing now is already known immediately, and is interconnected with all else. So in this sense - nothing can be truly missing, as all that's appearing in this moment (and in any moment!) is known - nothing is hidden, although I am not 100% sure that it is all known consciously - and maybe that conscious knowing is what's making the difference, and what's making me continue to seek - it's what I'm after...? I do sense that when this conscious knowing/seeing comes (by the way - I guess that's what I'm waiting for?? :) - it will not be something that is different than what's already here - but more a recognition of something that's here but perhaps overlooked or mistakenly interpreted - so in a way, all that's needed is to relax - as what is searched for is already present...??

ok - my morning thoughts - hope not too confusing :).

Much love!
Erah

Sorry I only have a short time to reply.

When you see this interconnectedness, this "oneness", is thought required or relevant? Without a thought is it possible to see what is, as it is, without anything "needing" anything?

You said that you aren't sure that nothing exists outside of what "is" right now. If it existed, where would it be?

You don't assume that anything else you haven't experienced (eg. The boogie man, Santa Claus) so why assuming any other concept exists :)

Just pointing you to what "is", nothing else.

Much love!