Re: dsm1963, this is your thread
Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 9:52 pm
A self is just a familiar collection of thoughts, memories, emotions, perceptions, etc. that seems like a real entity somewhere in the mind when in fact it has no real form or boundaries to it. This non-entity likes to take credit where credit is not due. It seeks validation through control, ownership and directorship of what is happening in the mind and in the world. The self is a complete fraud. It causes unnecessary suffering by manipulating thought into believing that it is real and is who and what you are. It clings tenaciously out of fear of its own demise. But surprisingly its demise was peaceful and joyous. It was a sudden seeing through the falseness of it. For me initially there is a sense of joy, peace, and clarity beyond the previously assumed need for an identity as a self, an I. I cannot believe that I had been brainwashed since childhood to believe in this non-entity which caused so much suffering in this life. What made me see through it was the pointer given me to look and see if indeed there is a self attached to awareness. I closed my eyes and immediately experienced the emptiness that is at times present during meditation. I then became acutely aware of sounds...of the ticking of the clock, of the birds chirping outside the window, of the heat blowing through the vents. There was direct experiencing without a self claiming ownership or control or trying to direct the experience. It just dawned on me as if I always knew that the self was not real but never really saw it beyond conceptualization. There have been I-thoughts since then, but they are immediately seen through and laughed at for being taken so seriously in the past. There is much appreciation for Elizabeth's pointing and support throughout the inquiry process. I felt that I was ripe for this kind of inquiry. Thanks so much for helping liberate me from myself!
Love,
Doug
Love,
Doug