Looking for a guide, requesting omahhum88.

[vinceschubert]

Ok, let's run through these questions and see if we can find any identification anywhere...
Answer them from experience (no quotes or theories)

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) "Describe your experience of the illusion of separate self, how it arises/disappears. Is that process always the same, or does it vary, and if so, how?"

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

[Robbie]

Hi Vince,

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No there isn't a separate me anywhere, there never has been one nor was there a need for one in a belief, so strange to think that this is the given model of life, yet it causes such friction and conflict!

2) "Describe your experience of the illusion of separate self, how it arises/disappears. Is that process always the same, or does it vary, and if so, how?"

In my experience right now, there is no illusion Although at work yesterday I became increasingly bored, like I didn't want to be there, it was just sensations and thoughts arising out of experience yet I found little pockets of momentum building a story around these experiences, once this was recognised the story stopped but the sensations continued. It feels like old habits are playing out in response to differing situations but with no need for a "me" in there, there is peace and patience surrounding the whole experience.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It feels kind of odd, so simple yet so easy to overlook. I feel more peace, more acceptance, less pressure, haven't felt depressed or anxious at all! Almost the opposite from before! Some things have become kind of obsolete, the struggle, I have noticed this strongly in meditation.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

It occurred to me that there was definitely something causing an issue, I had done all this "practice", tried to study, meditate and explore but when the shit hit the fan there was a me struggling despite all the effort. There seemed to be a paradox going on. I became very low and depressed, extremely dissatisfied and then I realised that in fact it was this strange belief that was causing all off the trouble! when I looked at it and saw there was just no need for it, in fact there never was one and something just changed, the belief was exposed.

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Well none of these actually exist separately from experience, they are just the natural unfolding from the perspective of a belief. Things just happen, are happening, everything is informing everything else, I can't see a first cause but I notice how a sensation occurs like a tight spot in a muscle for example then a thought occurs about this sensation, sometimes there is a physical reaction or not and the cycle continues. I'm really not sure about this idea of being responsible for anything, I know I am responsible for dinner tonight, it is one of my tasks. I think if the tendency for a me is removed then there is no responsibilty as such just a more natural unfolding of experience, there is no me, personally responsible for anything. what do you think about this one?

6) Anything to add?

Thanks for starters! and also that I still have a sense that this is not enough like there is more to experience, connect with and understand, but also see it as unfolding, like something has shifted and life itself will reveal what it will. What next is my question? Thanks again Vince for taking the time to explore with me, it is much appreciated.

Love

Robbie

[vinceschubert]

Robbie, i need to get 3 others to confirm that you have passed through the gateless gate, or come up with questions on points that are not clear. Then you will be invited to join a Facebook group where 'gatecrashers' support each other in their continued journey.
There are many new 'skills' to be considered as you are entering a whole new world now.
Anyway, lots of this kind of processing happens in those groups, so "friend" me on Facebook and i will invite you to join.(when confirmation occurs)
https://www.facebook.com/vince.schubert

and a small doc worth reading here; http://liberationunleashed.com/PDF/Awakened.pdf

love

vince