seeking guidance

[jake711]

Where and what are emotions in actual experience?

Now, I don’t know what an emotion is.
All there is, is thoughts and feelings in the body….is there a connection?
It seems so.

So what!?

It’s what’s happening.
Simple.

Is there something effected by all of this?
No, it cannot be found.
Am I clear on this? Who?
There is is clarity.
And yet, this clarity might pass and leave things, eventing as they've always done and do right now.

[smudge]

Now, I don’t know what an emotion is.
All there is, is thoughts and feelings in the body….is there a connection?
It seems so.

So keep looking. next time an emotion happens really look, describe fully what is found, is it a tightness in the belly or an energy in the heart or a sparkling or a flashing or a pulsing....describe take time to be thorough....and only then ask where is the me thats having the feelings. Theres no you, but somethings going on, look and see with fascination.

You are much more familiar with thoughts and yes there is a connection between thoughts and feelings, notice the difference. When looking at the thoughts, the stories, notice how the 'I' is the main character, its just the way it is and recognition of its not real happens sometimes, just as the thought the taste of a berry is not real as in eating it in the moment is. But it doesn't mean thoughts are bad its just telling the difference between a story and the reality.

You are doing great, keep going, keep noticing the display of thoughts and feelings as well as everything else thats just happening.

[jake711]

It’s seen clearly that thoughts themselves are neither good nor bad, that they just come and go.
Some stories (thoughts) seem to trigger feelings, felt in the body.
Or is it the other way round? This cannot be answered.
There is a connection, though.

There was a feeling of frustration this afternoon, also a feeling of guilt.
Interesting: I felt a sensation in my upper stomach and heart area.
I am only able to label these feelings of the thoughts that arose with the sensation.
Otherwise it would just be a subtle energy movement (almost like a subtle electric current) in the body.

That’s all there is.

I notice thoughts and feelings about “my past” coming up with the desire to fix and a feeling of guilt, and shame.
When trying to go deeper, I find nothing.

It's always nothing.
The investigation is going in circles and always leads to nothing-ness.

[jake711]

Fear coming up. It's welcome.

[smudge]

Describe in detail, best you can, an emotion in the moment, not a memory of a feeling,but a here and now feeling please, from direct experience.

[jake711]

Right now there is sadness.
Here and now. A little tension in my face. A heavy feeling on, in my chest.
I think it's "sadness."
That's how these sensations always WERE labeled.
Here and now, I cannot give it a name.
Heavy chest, tight face.
That's all there is.
Thoughts coming and going and a feeling in the body; right now.

[smudge]

Good stuff!

Lets look at body:

POINTING

To see Who you really are, carry out the following experiment.

When you point anywhere in the world you point at appearances. You are distant from what you are looking at and you see things, you see objects. Observe this – direct your attention at things by pointing at them.

For example, I can see the shapes and colours of this room…

of my foot...

...of my knee

of my chest...

In all these instances attention is directed outwards, at objects.

Now point where others see your face.

What do you see? You are now looking inwards – turning the direction of your attention round 180˚ from the objects out there to you the Subject, to the place you are looking out of. Do you see your face? Do you see anything at all there - any colour or shape, any movement?

Looking in to the place where others see my face, I find no colour or shape here. I find boundless capacity or awareness this side of my pointing finger. This capacity is empty, clear, transparent. It is self-evidently awake, aware.

my finger, my view of the scene beyond, sounds, feelings…

What do you find? Are you also looking out of this wide-open, crystal clear, awareness?

[jake711]

I find nothingness.
There's nothing there.
At the same time a sense of aliveness, of being.

[jake711]

There's no one there.

[jake711]

There's no one in there.

[smudge]

Take this further and with more description, I know words can never completely get at the experience but it is helpful to use worlds to point at experience never the less, do this:
Point with one index finger outwards at the world, and with your other index finger point inwards towards where you used to think your face was. Describe as fully as you can what the experience is like.

Lets make sure this has time to integrate deeply, do this periodically over the next day in different situations.

Best wishes

Smudge

[jake711]

okay.
thank you for your guidance!

[jake711]

Sitting on a couch, feeling the weight of my upper arms on my chest, while the right hand points outward, “into the world” and the other hand points inward. A thought appears, saying :” the other hand points to where your face is, where your ‘center’ is.”
There is a dynamic of ignoring the thought not taking it serious and to just look innocently.
Looking.

Pointing to a coffee cup, pens, a wallet on the table. I notice that it is first pointed to, then labeled with a thought. Very subtle. It just happens.
I see my two hands, pointing in different directions. There is a shift of focus from the objects that appear more far away to something closer to the lenses, so to speak. The labeling process is the same.

Now I look inward and try to describe what it is the tip of my left index finger is pointing to.

“What is it pointing to?”


I experience tremendous difficulty describing what is seen/experienced.
Is there anything seen or experienced at all?

There is no center.
No “knowing.”

I just closed my eyes, to see what is still here and what remains untouched.

A sense of being.
Or is this just a thought?

Will keep looking.

[jake711]

I kept doing the pointing exercise throughout the day, in different situations with the same result:
There is a vastness and nothingness.
Thoughts and emotions appear in this space.
And I cannot find any doer or author anywhere.
Still, there is a persistence belief (?) of “not getting it”, not having full clarity in seeing that there is no Self.
In the beginning we talked about expectations and that it’s best to drop them.
There is still a waiting here.
A waiting for an event to happen.
Not expecting “bells & whistles” but at least an “AHA” sort of moment.
“I” focus to stay on what’s true and not buy into it, yet these subtle expectations appear very rigid and strong.

[smudge]

Nice, you are seeing the that thought which include expectations, do not go away, but are part of the display, a bit different perhaps to the story of what awakening might be like hey?

There is a vastness and nothingness.
Thoughts and emotions appear in this space.

Beautiful!...you have seen the emptiness and the absence of self, keep looking at what IS present, yes thoughts and emotions arising and passing away, what else, report back, keep doing the 2 way pointing, yes there is nothing, which is capacity for everything! whats there, describe it ALL?? Its FULL and empty.


Warmest wishes
Smudge