The Gate

Look at something of nature. You could take a walk and look at nature. Gently notice the experience that is seen, heard and felt. Where is the "I" in any of this?

As sensations and thoughts arise - look there. Can the "I" the "self" be found?

I keep thinking my thoughts are in the way of this seeing and not something that's being seen like other phenomena.
I had a brief moment before I went to sleep yesterday where I suddenly swirled out of a dark thought circle and saw them differently somehow, like they were a part of me in the same way as my body is. I guess I just didn't identify with them like I do most of the time. But I still believe I'm a seperate entity based somewhere in my head...

Hi Hanna,

I keep thinking my thoughts are in the way of this seeing and not something that's being seen like other phenomena.

Quite right. Notice the "I" keep thinking and "my" thoughts. The seeing is just the same as any other seeing, like you do with your eyes. It's not some mystical thing. It's seeing before "I" or "my" claims the experience as its own.

I had a brief moment before I went to sleep yesterday where I suddenly swirled out of a dark thought circle and saw them differently somehow, like they were a part of me in the same way as my body is. I guess I just didn't identify with them like I do most of the time. But I still believe I'm a seperate entity based somewhere in my head...

It's great that you saw this. Notice how thoughts appear and disappear like clouds in the sky. Can you see that thoughts are experienced and the body is experienced. Look. Is this so?
You say you still believe in a separate entity in your head. Can you see this entity? Look for it the same way that you look for any thing. Is it really there?

I will be away from tomorrow until Sunday night. Please look back over the last few posts and answer any questions that you have not yet responded to. Also look at this description of Direct Experience it should help to focus your looking, http://www.liberationunleashed.com/Arti ... ience.html

While I'm away you could also look at Ilona's blogspot, this is a good starting point http://markedeternal.blogspot.co.uk/201 ... s.html?m=1


Keep up the good work,

Love and blessings,
Ray

Please try to post each day with what is going on.
This will help to keep focused.

Ray

Hi Ray!

I’m still with you, thanks for checking in!

I did as you said and read the previous posts and I needed to be reminded about relaxing in this process. The curious excitement has been somewhat exchanged with stress and tension. It’s the notion of failing to see this, the strong fear of keeping on living the story instead of life…but at this moment I’m trusting this process and that’s relieving.

Bye for now!

Hi Ray!

I’ve just read previous posts and thought I’d share some questions/thoughts that appear:

Have I lost some determination or am I just relaxing, somewhat grasping that I can’t force this with the means of my mind? Grasping how?

The unlabelling game didn’t quite work for me, but how do I expect it to ”work for me”…think I need to look more at the essence of labelling/labels, see that they are just thoughts about actual experience, look at the difference between these two.

How could progress be made/have been made if the believed ”I” is still here? Still I feel a distance to what’s being expressed in previous posts I’ve made.

Thinking with no one doing the thinking….aaa I’m having myself wrapped round that one now…can’t quite see that, even if we’ve talked about thoughts just appearing and not being able to control them. So the sens of thinking being done by me is just a stream of thoughts with an attached ”I” too them…?

How do we actually work in this process, how does the communication between me and you work if those are just titles…?

Just seeing without labels, to get a clear knowing of that labels are just that, and not the original experience of things. But the labels just appear, can’t be stopped…notice that which doesn't appear and disappear then?

Here’s where I’m at right now and I feel more joy and less strain in this! If that's of relevance...?

Hanna

Hi Hanna,

Thanks for reviewing the recent posts. I can sense the effort and some confusion about how to achieve the result that is aimed for. You are correct that I cannot communicate this to you. What I can do is point to it, and then you do the looking. It is like the signpost for Stockholm and the experience of arriving at Stockhom. (The difference is that what is being looked for is already here!)
It's great that you are feling more joy and les strain. When THIS is seen it happens with simplicity and without strain or effort.

The unlabelling game didn’t quite work for me, but how do I expect it to ”work for me”…think I need to look more at the essence of labelling/labels, see that they are just thoughts about actual experience, look at the difference between these two.

Analyzing and thinking about it will NOT get you there nor will anything done with the intellect. What is needed is the raw direct experience. Really try to get a handle on what is meant by this! D.E. is central to this investigation.
An example: I spent the weekend in Paris (It was lovely). Yesterday at breakfast I spoke with someone named Ian, (he lives in Goteborg). He had just cycled with some friends from London to Paris in 2 days! Now imagine the difference between thoughts during that extreme bicycle ride "I'm really tired, this is painfull, I need water, etc" and the direct experience of it - the sensations of being physically exhausted, perspiring, thirst, effort, legs working. All expressed in this moment before words and labels. (Some say that a reason for doing any extreme or thrilling activity is to bring you vividly into the now.)
I'm not suggesting you do such a venture, but I invite you to examine your immediate experience. Allow for a minute the notion that there is no-one having experience and just feel what is happening. Thoughts will come in, but let them be and return attention to immediate experience.

Ray.

Hanna,

There has been a pause. This is what is happening for you right now.

To see is not to focus on anything in particular, but to witness, to notice everything that comes up.

When you stop seeking what do you see?

I'm here if you are going to continue.

Love and blessings.
Ray

I'm definately going to continue it's just that I don't know what to write anymore...
I can't answer what I see when I stop seeking.
I have nothing to say. Sorry.

Hi Ray!

I hope you don't loose patience with me now.
I just don't know how to proceed. I'm watching feelings and thoughts with less identification. I zoom out of intense me-ness but still feel there's an "I" doing that, so nothing's won. It's like I have a notion of what you want me to see, but I can't do it.

I don't seem to be willing to agree on not being in charge. Even if everything points to that.
I hear myself going in circles...and I'm laughing now!

But I can't agree, accept, believe, admit or learn this right? I can't do anything. Relaxing of effort you say...
yes the effort made is often evident, especially whenever I sit down Writing to you. And seen to be just inside the illusion...but I feel like un-true talking about this. Cause I don't really know what I'm talking about right?

Have you not pointed already many times to how/where/on what I should be looking?

A big thanks for your time a patience Ray!

Hi Hanna,
I'll reply in full later. We'll try a different angle.

Getting close .

Ray

Hi Hanna,

I just don't know how to proceed. I'm watching feelings and thoughts with less identification. I zoom out of intense me-ness but still feel there's an "I" doing that, so nothing's won. It's like I have a notion of what you want me to see, but I can't do it.

This is progressing. Me-ness or self-ing will not be permanently irradicated! Just need to see that they are only thought based, with no entity, nothing real, behind them. This should all get clearer.

I don't seem to be willing to agree on not being in charge. Even if everything points to that.
I hear myself going in circles...and I'm laughing now!

Well, is there any one to agree to not be in charge? If "I" is only a thought can it decide anything? Seeing that everything points to that is an important step. Seeing that it IS so cliches the deal. Laughter is an appropriate response :)

Looking at direct Experience. Can you find the "I" that experiences experience?

In listening is there a separate sound, listener and experience of listening? Describe the experience. Where is the "I" in this?

Kind regards,
Ray

Hi ray, glad for your respons! Typing from a friend's iphone. Away singing again this week-end so won't be able to write properly until sunday but will check the thread during these days and look at listening the way you described. I'm not loosing determination. Bye for now!

Hi Hanna,

When you get back let me know how you got on with noticing listening. Can you find a boundary where there is a listener here and the sound there? How would you describe it in experience?

I hope the singing went well. What sort of singing do you do?
Any changes in how you feel in front of an audience? That can be somewhere where your sense of self really shows up. When there is a definite sense of self that is a great time to look! It may be accompanied by a feeling of contraction, of tightness. Welcome the self, look at it, look into it in direct experience. Can you see what it is protecting?

Hear from you soon,
Ray.

Hi Ray!

It’s like the sounds are occuring in me and located to be coming from somewhere else at the same time. That’s all I can say right now but there’s so much going on and I’m having a hard time concentrating…

I’ve constantly been around people this last week and I often notice the self tightening around people. I don’t now how to maintain our process of looking when I'm around people, that’s it. I want to analyse this some more now but it's just pointless analysing right...that felt relieving to say. Some pressure left in the body.

I'm gonna go for another walk. Bye for now!