Life, living itself...

[Masauwu]

"I" is just like a "city". Is there anywhere city is? What is that "city" apart from buildings, roads, cars, people etc.?
Look if that is the same with an "I"?

Not sure i understand the comparison. My mind seems like a city, some of the cars passing by are "I" thoughts, but it still feels like "my" city.

"but still can`t say there is no me" - what else is that if not just another thought, which you wrote down here? What stand behind that?

A thought behind another thought... seems thinking is all i know.

[Masauwu]

I`ll be out of town for a bit most likely with no internet access, will report back sunday morning if that`s the case.

[Garsius Tyla]

"I" is just like a "city". Is there anywhere city is? What is that "city" apart from buildings, roads, cars, people etc.?
Look if that is the same with an "I"?

Not sure i understand the comparison. My mind seems like a city, some of the cars passing by are "I" thoughts, but it still feels like "my" city.

"City", same as "I", points to nothing. There is no individual entity, you could call "city". Same as "I". It is just a label you use, if you want to point to collection of things. Nothing more. No real "city", no real "I".

A thought behind another thought... seems thinking is all i know.

Yes and if there is no thought, there is nothing left. No you. That is not like you are that "nothing". That would be another identification. No no. There is no you at all.

[Masauwu]

Everything you say to me passes through a filter of thinking, all i do is thinking even when i think i`m not thinking. The mind reads what you say and projects it automatically. You are trying to point out something that is beyond this mind projectioning, but i don`t know how to look at it out of mind. Even now, writing this, i`m doing it... I don`t know how to let go of it.

[Garsius Tyla]

Everything you say to me passes through a filter of thinking, all i do is thinking even when i think i`m not thinking. The mind reads what you say and projects it automatically. You are trying to point out something that is beyond this mind projectioning, but i don`t know how to look at it out of mind. Even now, writing this, i`m doing it... I don`t know how to let go of it.

Don't worry about thoughts. Don't worry about letting it go. There can be thoughts going with speed of 10 per second and still truth is obvious and it is here. Always. No thoughts can prevent from getting it. This is much simpler than mind could ever imagine.

No entity of "I" is there. "I" is just a label which clings to every thing that appears in a body form: body, thoughts, feelings, moods, sense of self (believing that "I" exist) and awareness of that all. There is no you at all. Only believing about it.

Where you can find that "I", that you?

C'mon. Look. It is obvious.

[Masauwu]

No matter how many times i looked, i can`t find a solid "I". And then a moment later: wait a minute - "I" looked? There was an attachment right there. Then i try to see "who looked" and again i can`t see... Almost like chasing one`s shadow.

[Garsius Tyla]

Sit for a moment, close your eyes and look at your body vibrations for 30 seconds. Then, without opening your eyes, turn you awareness to that looking itself. Don't push too hard, look without any expectations, it is not practice, just simply looking.

What do you see behind that looking?

[Masauwu]

I couldn`t complete the "turn awareness to that looking part". Couldn`t find anything to be aware of in the looking. Looking at the looking... sounds doable in words but when i try it seems impossible.

[Garsius Tyla]

So what is there behind that looking? Any entity, who perform that looking?
Try that once more and answer.

[Masauwu]

I cannot see an entity but there lurks the assumption of an entity, the sensations in the body are always there but directed attention is needed to look at them and when attention wanders off someone or something must keep directing it back. There is a presence, without this presence how would i do the looking.

[Garsius Tyla]

assumption of an entity

So this is YOU? This assumption is you??

someone or something must keep directing it back

Do you see that "someone or something" anywhere? You cannot find any, because there is no one to find.

There is a presence, without this presence how would i do the looking.

Presence is. Awareness of that presence is. That one, who aware is NOT.

True?

[Masauwu]

So this is YOU? This assumption is you??

It`s not me, just a bad habbit, a very sticky one it seems.

Do you see that "someone or something" anywhere? You cannot find any, because there is no one to find.

I can`t but... this is the only way of functioning i know. I cannot realize this fact of things happening on their own like a car without a driver. I can picture the whole concept just fine if i have to, but that`s useless. I want to see it.

Presence is. Awareness of that presence is. That one, who aware is NOT.
True?

Not true for me, the "doer" is still there. Which makes me think that i have no clue what true awareness really is, only fooling myself.

[Garsius Tyla]

Presence is. Awareness of that presence is. That one, who aware is NOT.
True?

Not true for me, the "doer" is still there

If it is there, you would be able to "show" me, or at least see it for yourself. You cannot. There is nothing to show. There is nothing to find. Just belief hanging around.

You know that metaphor about Santa, do you? Santa is solid real for the kid only until the moment he became aware it is fairy tale. What happens to Santa, when kid knows that? Nothing, he just don't believe it anymore.

Same with "I", isn't it? "I" thought labels all, and somehow belief arises that there is actual "I" somewhere. All you can be aware of - exist. If you cannot find even a trace of that "I" - it don't exist at all.

Remember chain: perciever (doer, or "I") -> percieving ( awareness/attention/looking )-> percieved (all objects, including awareness/attention/looking)?

Perciever does not exist.

Look for that all until you have to say something new.

[Masauwu]

I worked on this friday night and saturday with nothing new to add. With the feeling i`m going in circles and getting nowhere i decided to stop here with this method. Thank you for the time and effort you put into it.

[Garsius Tyla]

I worked on this friday night and saturday with nothing new to add. With the feeling i`m going in circles and getting nowhere i decided to stop here with this method. Thank you for the time and effort you put into it.

No problem mate.
But. Even in this post there is a key for you liberation.
"with nothing new to add"- only thought, nothing stay behind it. Freely arose. And it will gonna do that again and again until you realise - that thought have nothing common with true you. Because there is no YOU.
"feeling I'm going in circles and getting nowhere" - same as above.
"decided to stop here with this method" - same as above.
Get that and you are free.