requesting guidance

[Jack'n'theBox]

Hi Mark

‘Is there a self, a 'me' in any shape or form that is the originator and subject of experience?’
No. No originator – just layering of thoughts on top of experience, which sometimes claim to be the originator!
No cymbals, rainbows or hosts of angelic beings….but definitely no self behind the actions. Which is liberating, as this website suggests!
x

Hi Rosy -- great answer. I get the feeling that your perspective has definitely shifted during our time together. What I'm going to do now is ask you some final questions then invite some other guides to look over the answers and help us out with anything that might have been missed. So please look at the questions below -- take your time with them and answer them fully --- but please answer from what you SEE not what you THINK.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it
works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this
dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything
happen? Give examples from your experience.
6) Anything to add?

[rosy]

Hi Mark,

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

No

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it
works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

What I see is – there is a mechanism built in or kick-started in infancy/childhood whereby the mind feels its role is to ‘protect’. It seems to do this in a clumsy but well-intentioned way that often causes us much suffering.
I’ve tried Buddhism, Therapy alcohol and giving up to try and re-group my mind and make it do good stuff for me. It’s been a long, lonely and unsuccessful path!
And the solution is so fantastically, ridiculously simple and right here and now – completely obvious. No me here to sort out at all – no mind to re-group!
Thank you LU and you Mark x

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this
dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

I’d had glimpses of no-self but they were a bit baffling and fleeting. This was a wonderful intensification which brings clarity and understanding to the experience (is this possible?). Now, I feel sort of hollow right now but in a good way. I’m in the middle of packing up to move – there seems (on one level) to be a lot to do and to fret over but in fact it is all taking care of itself. I experience anxiety and tightening but just let it be and know that there is no one here to worry!

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

I was seeing…but a lot of doubt was in the way. You gave me confidence in what was being experienced. It felt gradual, like there was often a slight pulling back slipping away but yourself and the LU process really helped to overcome that.

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything
happen? Give examples from your experience.

No, this was a real revelation – because at present there are lots of decisions to make – I noticed they were making themselves quite naturally and without ‘me’ agonizing over them. I even had an ‘unintentional ‘haircut at one point! My mind is still making plans and getting a bit worked up about moving on Monday (packing, arrangements etc) but when I catch this, it all dissolves again. In the past this would have been an intense, emotional rollercoaster for me – lots of emotion to do with people and the past lodged in the very process of moving – in fact it has been pleasant and smooth and easy!

6) Anything to add?

Still feel a bit tentative, a bit of a fledgling! I want to see how it all goes over the next week or so – just absorbing the shift. I’d like to keep in touch if that’s ok…..not sure how the forum works at this point?
Also want to thank Ilona and Elena – what a fantastic thing….the most creative use of the internet ever! Just astonishing. And so generous . And thank you Mark for your time, commitment and kindness – how marvelous you are! xxx

[Jack'n'theBox]

Hi Rosy, thanks for your answers. I love the "unintentional haircut"! I will invite some of the other guides to look at the answers and let you know if they have any further questions or issues they would like us to explore.

Once our conversation on the main LU site is over there are some post-gate facebook forums where you can stay in touch and explore with others -- so if you don't have a facebook account it would be a good idea to start one -- it doesn't have to be in your real name.

much love,

Mark

[rosy]

ok, thanks Mark xx