requesting a guide

[Paulo]

Hi Robyn,

So is there any 'I' at all in direct experience?

Paulo.

[robyn lee]

Hi Paulo,
No there isn't.
Robyn

[Paulo]

Hi Robyn, a very confident response indeed,

Have you seen through the illusion of a separate self?

Take some time to consider - look in the here and now, look at direct experience. Sit with that question and let it settle. Really look at it before you respond, and if there are any lingering doubts feel free to share them.

Love, Paulo.

[robyn lee]

Hi Paulo,
I have let the question settle: Have you seen through the illusion of a separate self?
Through many moods and emotions and thoughts, absorbed and distracted, tired and uplifted, bored and excited, all I can find is experience. There is no separate self. There is only experience and this flow of changing conditions.
In one of the Buddha's teachings, he said: 'This is how you should train yourself. When for you there will be only the seen in reference to the seen, only the heard in reference to the heard, only the sensed in reference to the sensed, only the cognized in reference to the cognized, then there will be no you in connection with that. When there is no you in connection with that, there is no you there.'
I've been familiar with this teaching for over twenty years but only in the past few days has it been really understood.
Life doesn't seem much different. It's as if I'm standing in the same spot but through your help I've turned a few degrees and that has made all the difference. It feels freer and as if a burden has been lifted. This morning there was an immense sense of gratitude.
There aren't any lingering doubts; just a sense of responsibility to keep 'no separate selfness' alive.
With much gratitude,
Robyn

[Paulo]

Thank you Robyn,

I'm going to ask you a number of questions which I would ask you to answer in your own time and your own way, maybe one per day, or all at one ofyou feel so inspired. Answer only from your own experience, and from what's happeing for you in the moment. I will catch up with you once you have responded to all questions -

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion but is curious about it. 




5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

6) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

7) Anything to add?

[robyn lee]

Hi Paulo,
I'll probably take several days, maybe even a week with the questions.
Thanks,
Robyn

[robyn lee]

Dear Paulo,
I've missed corresponding with you! Here are my answers to your questions.

1 Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No, there isn’t and there never has been. The idea that there was no separate self was not new to me; through Buddhist practise I have been aware of this (intellectually) for twenty seven years. The dialogue with you has brought me to see this as direct experience.

2 Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
It seems that this illusion of a separate self starts very early in life. I can see it in my granddaughter who is only two years old. Growing up is confusing and can be traumatic and even tragic. Building a sense of self can be necessary to get through, a way of feeling that we have some control over the uncontrollable events in our lives. We build a vessel, a container and label it ‘self’ and we think because of it that we will be safe. Even though this is an illusion, there were points in my life where without this sense of self and of being in control, I don’t think I would have survived. And, of course, most societies and cultures reinforce this sense of a separate self.

3 How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
It feels very liberating to see this and there is a deep sense of peace. As I said in one report, it doesn’t feel that different and yet everything is different. Life feels much more alive and vivid and poignant. I feel more connected to all life.
A strong habit or tendency (in the past) has been wanting to get through experience, to move on from the moment, to get to the next experience. It was living life by avoiding direct experience. This is the most important thing I have noticed. I now know there is only the moment, whether I’m aware of it or not. It feels that life has slowed and that what is happening (whatever it is) is just what is happening.
During the week, a family situation arose and I could feel a strong sense of wanting to ‘control’ the situation and of wanting to ‘rescue’ a member of my family. I was able to see the stories I tell myself when situations like this arise. I was able to just BE with this and not to take it personally (i.e. it is up to ‘me’ to rescue this situation and to make it all right). The direct experience was seeing the complex fabric of our interconnected lives and that there is no ‘rescuer’, there is just one moment after another. This feels very different from before starting the dialogue,

4 How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion but is curious about it.
I would probably say some or all of the things that I have written here in answer to your questions.



5 What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
What really started the looking was when you asked me ‘what is perceiving the perceiver’. At that point I really began the investigation of ‘self’. I knew there was nothing behind the perceiver but I’d never made the next step, seeing how a sense of ‘self’ sets one up as an ‘originator’. It was then that the façade of a separate ‘me’ began to crumble. I saw that I have created this sense of self as a protection. Also, then I was able to face my past fear of ‘no self’ feeling like annihilation. Then I could see that ‘no personal self’ doesn’t mean no person. There was acceptance of presence and aliveness without a separate self.

6 Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.
The illusion of a separate self helps you to think that ‘you’ decide, choose and control events in your life. Once this illusion is seen, there is only the flow of events. Which is not passive; rather it is an acceptance of the complexity of life and of how everything is interconnected. ‘I’ don’t make things happen. Going back to the ‘rescue’ story in question 3, I could see that while ‘I’ was worrying and anxious and problem-solving in my head, the situation had already moved on. There is no control.

7 Anything to add?
I don’t know if I would have seen this without the process of a one-to-one dialogue. The intensity of the focus and the persistent questions were an important aspect of this. Also, I had the time (being retired) to not get distracted even if life was busy. I feel profoundly grateful to you and to Liberation Unleashed.

Love,
Robyn

[Paulo]

Hi Robyn, it's wonderful to hear from you once again, sounds lile you had an eventful week :-)

The next step is for me to share this thread with other guides to see if they have any further questions for you. This part of the process may take a little while, but I will keep you updated as we progress.

With love, Paulo.

[Paulo]

Hi Robyn, I have question for you from one of the other guides -

Following on from your response to Question 2 -

'Even though this is an illusion, there were points in my life where without this sense of self and of being in control, I don’t think I would have survived

So did this sense of self at the time have any function? Could it again?

Paulo ;-)

[robyn lee]

Dear Paulo,
You asked me: So did this sense of self at the time have any function? Could it again?

These are good questions. All I can think is that the function of self at the time was to create the illusion of something permanent, something solid and unchanging. This then gives one a sense of safety and permanence in an ever changing universe (even though this is an illusion). It's interesting that we seem to have to create a self before deconstructing it.
It couldn’t function again because the fear (see question 5) is no longer there. Once there was no ‘me’ to protect, the fear was gone.

I hope this is helpful!
Love,
Robyn

[Paulo]

Thanks Robyn for responding to promptly, I'll let the other guide know you've responded, and will keep you up to date if there are any further questions,

Love, Paulo.

[robyn lee]

Thanks, Paulo!

[Paulo]

Thanks for your patience Robyn, myself and the other guides have no further questions for you. Please check your private messages for more details.

Paulo.