Looking to have dialogue with a guide

[Hesed]

How did you choose? Explain the process.

I am not aware of there being a process, or anything before the thought arising "I'll pick up that one" and the decision was made, in that I just knew that was the one I was going to pick up.

[Xain]

I am not aware of there being a process, or anything before the thought arising "I'll pick up that one" and the decision was made,

Where did that thought/decision come from?

Xain ♥

[Hesed]

Where did that thought/decision come from?

Hi Xain,

Maybe I wasn't paying enough attention to experience but I don't know where it came from. It just arose.

[Xain]

Where did that thought/decision come from?

Maybe I wasn't paying enough attention to experience but I don't know where it came from. It just arose.

It just appeared? Are you certain about that?
If it just arose, who or what created it?

Xain ♥

[Hesed]

Where did that thought/decision come from?

Trying to think about this I feel as though I'm not quite certain about how anything arise.

[Xain]

Where did that thought/decision come from?

Trying to think about this I feel as though I'm not quite certain about how anything arise.

Don't think. Examine your own direct experience with honesty. Find out what is happening without analysis.

Maybe I wasn't paying enough attention to experience but I don't know where it came from. It just arose.

The selection/thought 'just arose'? - So what made that decision? Where did it come from? Or did the selection just appear without an obvious source? Really LOOK!

Xain ♥

[Hesed]

The selection/thought 'just arose'? - So what made that decision? Where did it come from? Or did the selection just appear without an obvious source? Really LOOK!

The impulse to pick up one particular object rather than the other seems to happen without an obvious source.

[Xain]

The impulse to pick up one particular object rather than the other seems to happen without an obvious source.

No obvious source? Then there was no 'I', no person making that choice?
Xain ♥

[Hesed]

No obvious source? Then there was no 'I', no person making that choice?

Hi Xain,

Sorry about taking a while to get back. I have a sense that that is right and that there was no one behind the event making it happen, though I am not totally sure of that.

[Xain]

I am not totally sure of that.

That's an honest reply.

The impulse to pick up one particular object rather than the other seems to happen without an obvious source.

Not obvious? Perhaps it is hiding. SEEK IT - FIND IT! Examine your direct experience.
Is there a source 'controller' or isn't there?

Xain ♥

[Hesed]

Not obvious? Perhaps it is hiding. SEEK IT - FIND IT! Examine your direct experience.

Still hiding, unless it is in disguise ;-) Just sitting and waiting to see if anything shows itself, the question, is there someone who is doing this? Keeps occuring. Still I sense that there isn't. I still couldn't give a definite answer though there is some feeling of easing off, of not taking myself quite seriously at the moment and that feels like a relief, less thinking...

[Hesed]

More accurately, there feels more space to think and thinking is less insistent, subtler lighter...

[Xain]

More accurately, there feels more space to think and thinking is less insistent, subtler lighter...

Keep in this zone! :-)

Still hiding, unless it is in disguise ;-) Just sitting and waiting to see if anything shows itself, the question, is there someone who is doing this? Keeps occuring. Still I sense that there isn't. I still couldn't give a definite answer though there is some feeling of easing off, of not taking myself quite seriously at the moment and that feels like a relief, less thinking...

REALLY LOOK! Is there a controller of the body? Is there something or someone doing this?
Or does it function without an obvious controller that can be found?
Try a really simple answer if it assists you - Yes, No or I don't know?

Xain ♥

P.S. Are you investigating this? Or is investigation happening all by itself?

[Hesed]

REALLY LOOK! Is there a controller of the body? Is there something or someone doing this?
Or does it function without an obvious controller that can be found?
Try a really simple answer if it assists you - Yes, No or I don't know?

I would answer I don't know if there wasn't this subtle sense that that there is no controller

Are you investigating this? Or is investigation happening all by itself?

I have the idea of investigating but it is as though the process carries on without me, a bit like breathing.

[Xain]

I would answer I don't know if there wasn't this subtle sense that that there is no controller

Perhaps a little explanation of the workings of the mind might assist here.
As we carry on our day-to-day lives, the majority of the time the mind is at rest (unless someone is deeply troubled by something).
When the we are questioned about this 'I', this 'me' we think we are - A person - Then the mind pops up and claims the action or event for itself.
For example, say you go to the cinema to watch a film. I don't know if you've ever considered it, but we become so ethralled and interested in the film that during this process, all there is is experience. The experience of watching and listening. No 'I' doing it. We become so absorbed in the 'now' that the mind stops, and there is no 'I'. No person watching a film - Just the pure direct experience of it.
When a friend questions you later, 'where have you been', the mind pops up and claims the activity for itself 'I have been to the cinema to watch a film'. The 'I' being the body/mind. A person.
Note that the only time 'I' exists is when we think about it. When it is questioned. When we consider future or past activities, or present continuous activities. Without a thought, there is no 'I'!

Perhaps see if this process is true or not in your own experience as we continue our investigation together.

Pick up an object - Any object. Look!
Examine your own direct experience and tell me what picked it up?
What controlled the movements of the hand and arm in the process?

Xain ♥