some news from last night, I was awake from 3am with the following:
Seeing is impersonal. There can be an object or no object that is seen….but this does not change the obvious evidence: it is just and only seeing. (this is obvious and cannot be denied)
Good, just seeing whitout the seer.
Meaning of direct experience: there is love and hate…pain and joy- not about or because of….these are just stories (because he…and then….because she and so….)but it isn’t true. Truth is just experiencing Love/Hate…Pain/Joy directly. Just the is-ness of whatever phenomenon. (this has been experienced now many times)
Very good, the storys is just a storys. Just see whats real and whats not real, this helps to let go of the unreal and you can let the storys come and go as they may, because now there is a knowing that its just a story that is not actually happening in actuality only in imagination/thought.
Nothing is personal – everything just happens. Yes there is cause and effect but it does not happen to you or against you. It just is. There is no belonging and nothing can belong to anyone – everything just is. That is the deeper meaning of letting go. (this morning it is still true, but also I feel it has to sink in)
Beautiful Sundew, but can there be any cause and effect if there is no doer? Cause implies that there is someone causing an action and effect implies that there is a causer that the effect happens at, right? So cause and effect needs someone to do the action and someone to the effect of the cause can happen to.
So if there is no I, can there be anything causing anything? Doesnt cause and effect mean that there is duality? Look at this and let me know what you see : )
But besides the realization, it is the miracle of “being up to it” – every moment can be and is, new and absolute magic. I also see that it is both easy and not.
Easy because it is just a matter of allowing, and therefore aligning to “is-ness” – but also difficult (at least for me) because I find it so deeply emotional that I can only describe it as shattering- almost as if every time I have to be not only ready but truly willing to die. My knees give in, and I’m too weak for anything.
You are not allowing because the you cannot allow, its not real. The you cannot do a damn thing. How can something that is unreal do anything to the real? Something that doesnt exist, how can that impact whats real.
Its like you being asleep and having enormous headache in real life while you are asleep,dreaming and you start to eat youre headache pills in the dream. This doesnt make youre headache better in real life. No matter what you do in the dream, it doesnt change youre headache in real life because the doer is not real, just a dream : )
So we could say that there is allowing naturally when it is seen that there is no I here. Then there is just life happening. This is not easy or difficult, this is just life happening. Life manifest itself in many forms. There is no one whatching life, to say that sometimes its easy and sometime difficult. This is also life happening. You are not there. Everything is life, there is only life and you are that wich embraces even life, you are that wich allows even life to be.
Is there anything that you control Sundew?
I really don’t know. On one side everything happens on it’s own. It appears (from where?)- and it goes (where??)- but in the middle there is the possibility of either surrendering or resisting – this allowing thing, just happened (to my utter joy and surprise), but in a very subtle way it seems as if every time it requires a yes?? Is it so? Or maybe this is also just happening with no volition??…. Yes here I either need help or time to settle into immensity. I have a feeling your answer will probably be something like…”who or what needs to settle in”....
Very good, and you are right about that my answer would be something like who or what needs to settle in : ))
Look and see clearly if there is anyone that needs to settle in...
So you are saying that there is the possibility to either surrender or resist. Who are going to surrender or resist? The unreal character? Can the you really surrender or resist? Look and see if the you can do anything whatsoever?
Just do a little experiment and do whatever you want to do and see how the doing is happening by itself. Walking, seeing, eating, going to the toilet, talking literally everything is happening by itself. I is just an after thought that comes and claims the happening no matter what you do. It assumes that there is an I here that does everything but the I is just a story. See if you can see the story of being the doer of all the actions only as a story and clearly stay with the actual happening and see how it happens by itself and the I is just a thought that comes and goes, just like a cloud. See if the story about the I, the thoughts about the I, if these storys/thoughts is doing the action, the doing?
Let me now how this went?
For there to be surrender or resisting there must be an I to do these things. They both depend on the I. If you remove the I from the picture then you only have thoughts about surrendering and resisting happening but arent both of them equally already allowed in what you are. If they were not allowed then you would not be seeing/knowing them. So if they are seen then they are already allowed. I need to surrender or I am resisting are after thoughts, after the fact that they have already been allowed so to speak.
This requires no yes, this is the seeing/knowing that the yes is already the case all the time everything else is an appearance in it so to speak. Surrender, resistance, thoughts, feelings etc are apperances in what you are. The nothing that you are, the no thingness that you are.
