Guide Available, Metta here.

[cosmiK]

Tara,

Thank you for sharing. Your expectations seem somewhat realistic, but they also seem fantastical at the same time. I can feel your energy in them. The first thing you need to realize on this journey to Awakening is that Expectations are attachments to an imagined future and self, and as such they will NOT serve you. When they arise, notice them, and gently drop them. If they arise again, notice them, and gently drop them. Expectations are stories, and as such thoughts, and Tara, let us get something straight here from the beginning that will define your whole journey, even after seeing no-self: THOUGHT ARE THOUGHTS. THOUGHTS ARE ONLY AND JUST THOUGHTS. THE CONTENT OF THOUGHTS IS NOT REAL. BECAUSE, THOUGHTS ARE JUST THOUGHTS. Is this clear to you? do you understand?

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Let us begin the first part of our investigation:

What comes up when you read and digest this statement?
What is your response?
&
What do you FEEL?

* There is no YOU. There is no Tara. There never was, and there never will be *

Share what comes up. Long winded analytical explanations from the 'mind' are not required. Share what you feel viscerally when you digest it, share what your concerns are, what ignites you.

[Tara]

Im using a mobile phone at the moment to reply, so please bear with the replies as the quote function doesnt seem to work like on a p.c...

Answer to questions to follow. :-)

[cosmiK]

Hi Tara. If you are on a mobile phone, do not worry about the quote function, just indicate what question you are responding to if there is more than one. Thanks.

[Tara]

Do i understand that thoughts are not real?... Yes.

There is no YOU. There is no Tara. There never has been and never will be. Whats my response? How do i feel?.... There's almost the feeling of anxiety in the stomach- a million and one thoughts to try prove the statement wrong (almost as if its another person sayin ''yes, but what about''). Saying the statement over and over kind of magnifies the self.

[cosmiK]

There's almost the feeling of anxiety in the stomach- a million and one thoughts to try prove the statement wrong (almost as if its another person sayin ''yes, but what about''). Saying the statement over and over kind of magnifies the self.

Tara, Good. Pay attention to Fear & Anxiety. They are protecting mechanisms. A major part of Awakening is understanding protective mechanisms, and having the courage to question them. LOOK (as in, be fully aware) of Fear and Anxiety. FEEL it fully, Completely. THANK it. It is only doing it's job. If you were in a jungle, and being chased by tigers, it is good to listen to this fear and run run run. Now, however, you must be courageous and ask Fear, Anxiety, what it is protecting? What is there to protect?

a million and one thoughts to try prove the statement wrong (almost as if its another person sayin ''yes, but what about''). Saying the statement over and over kind of magnifies the self.

Yes Tara, but... remember, THOUGHTS ARE JUST THOUGHTS. And... saying the statement over is just saying the statement over, there is no self to magnify! ... but hey... this is just a random dude on the internet telling you what to believe, who the fuck cares right? Well... you do, by your intentions and actions to be here and see the Truth.

So, are you ready to investigate reality with me? If you want to take more time to deal with Fear and Anxiety, no problem, I am here to help you, or if you want to allow it to be and look further, then I am here to help you :)

Let me know.

[Tara]

Ok.. Theres another sort of anxiety knot in the stomch, but it came with a giggle this time, more like butterflies before a massive roller coaster ride! Lets just jump in, i'l let you know if it feels like we should look at fear an anxiety again if thats cool? :-)

[cosmiK]

Ok.. Theres another sort of anxiety knot in the stomch, but it came with a giggle this time, more like butterflies before a massive roller coaster ride! Lets just jump in, i'l let you know if it feels like we should look at fear an anxiety again if thats cool? :-)

Okay, so there are some FEELINGS, and there some THOUGHTS.

We remember that THOUGHTS ARE JUST THOUGHTS (am I annoying you? good!).

We also remember that whatever feelings arise, we FEEL them FULLY. You can drop drop labels like 'sort of anxiety' and 'fear' and JUST FEEL IT FULLY. We remember that these may be protective mechanisms, so we always CHECK if there is anything behind it. We honor those feelings. We do not hide from them or push them away.

So... if you would like to work with these Feelings we can. Let me know.

Do you want me to start the investigation?

[Tara]

Are you annoying me yet?.... No, making one smile!

Lets investigate.

[cosmiK]

So Tara,

I'm going to propose a system for us to investigate our Experience. Since we both share 'human' experiences, we can agree on certain things: Grass is green, Honey is sweet, etc.This system will allow us to investigate together from direct Experience, and to confirm together. But first we have to Confirm.

So, let us cover the way in which we Experience the 'world' and 'ourselves':

seeing
feeling (tactile + kinesthetic)
hearing
tasting
smelling
&
thinking (thoughts, images)

basically, 6 sense streams, or 5senses + 1mind.
also called perception

We will call all of this, Experience.

So there is Experience, and thoughts about it, which is also Experience. There is only Experience.


So Tara... walk around, jump, kiss your pet, smell your room, feel objects, do whatever... but TEST IT OUT and CONFIRM to me please, that the way in which we Experience, is based on these 6 sense streams? As in, there is always just Experience, and thoughts about it, which is also Experience.

Test this, take as long as you want, BE SURE, and get back to me. It is extremely important that we confirm this, together, OK?

[Tara]

I confirm the 6 things.

[cosmiK]

Tara,

take care with saying they are "things". Thing implies substantiality and inherenecy and permenancy Upon closer inspection, and we can tackle this after you Awaken from "I", there is no-thing, and even the senses streams are empty of any inherennt existence. They are appearances. Appearances that you will conceptualize to help you explore Experience. Anyway :)

So Tara, a quick little nuance here. There is a lot of discussion going on in my neck of the would about STORIES. I would just like to introduce what a STORY is. Since you have already confirmed through your direct Experience there are 6 sense streams, or Experience, and Thoughts about it, which is also experience, I can introduce this concept to you.

A STORY = THOUGHTS which ties together other THOUGHTS + SENSATIONS.

So "there is a separate self" is a story.
"I am reading a sentence" is a story.
"I am on this site to Awaken" is a story
Just be mindful in your own experience how stories are created. This is not to say stories cannot be used, and they will and continue to do so, but they are understood and seen for what they are, a skillful and communicative use of THOUGHTS + SENSATIONS :)


-------


So NAME, now that we have established a method for us to both look at experience together. We both have these 6 sense streams operating constantly to create our Experience. Now that we can agree on this, we can investigate the illusion.

So Tara… LOOK right NOW, in your Direct Experience!

Where is Tara? Can you locate this Tara? Find this Tara for me please. Where is this "I"? Where i this "me"? Write out how you find this Tara.

feel free to just stand up, maybe walk around, sit, move around, and just LOOK, just SEE.

When I say LOOK, when I say SEE Tara, I mean just refer simply and plainly to your direct Experience, and report from our model.

Let's go!

[Tara]

Where is Tara?

Closey looking at this with the 6 sense streams, Tara exists mainly within the last one - thought. Ive sat with this thought and theres no noticable sensations like in the stomach for example, tho i am aware of the body, where the pressures are frm sitting, my breathing, blinking etc.

Looking into a mirror and seeing the reflection of a human being isn't Tara because that is jus a name that has been given to the body standing there.

If i speak, i'd automatically say or think 'this is my/tara's voice, but then the attention wants to jump straight back to the top paragraph.

Im stumped to write anymore. I am Tara is a story, story is thought and thoughts arn't real...

[cosmiK]

Tara exists mainly within the last one - thought.

Yeah :) "I, me, mine, Tara, cosmiK" are just thoughts. They may point to other thoughts, or they may point to sensations, or other 'objects' such as the 'body'.

Looking into a mirror and seeing the reflection of a human being isn't Tara because that is jus a name that has been given to the body standing there.

Yep.

If i speak, i'd automatically say or think 'this is my/tara's voice, but then the attention wants to jump straight back to the top paragraph.

yes, so there is speaking, and there is a thought. Nice. Very clear insight.

Im stumped to write anymore. I am Tara is a story, story is thought and thoughts arn't real...

I really wouldn't say you are stumped at all, just seeing that thoughts are just thoughts. What THIS is (whatever is Experienced) Just-Is, and it IS regardless of what thoughts and stories there are about it.

Good stuff... let's do a few more experiments and CHECK some more.

1) get up. walk slowly. are you walking?

2) can you choose to think a thought?

[Tara]

Ok, when walking, the thought of walking comes up. It wasn't chosen, it just happend when i got up to walk about.

To choose a thought... If i is a thought, a thought cant choose any other thought. But then to make a thought of lemon jelly or green grass, to then think of that... Is that chosen? Obviously not by an i thought, but then that just happens too i guess. They just randomly came up as did the walking thought. Not sure if im meant to 'pop' Q's in here, but tink i may have answered that in typing anyway..? :-)

[Tara]

In short - 1st answer Yes, 2nd answer No.