Ready to Die

[Thorzen]

There seems to be no proof that I exist

[Garsius Tyla]

There is no answer.. no silence, no peace, no bliss, no stillness.. There's just nothing, I have to say, I don't know

What doubt's are there about that question/answer: "Do you exist Thorzen?"

Or just not met expectations you got as ideas from somewhere? Can you see those as a forms? Look.

[Thorzen]

When you answer, I closed my eyes and looked to see if I existed. A few thoughts came, but they were just thoughts, they are not me, feelings are not there either, there seems to be nothing. I guess I don't exist. I am alive, that much I know, but I don't seem to be anyone. There is nobody found when I look inside, only this body, and the mind, and the feelings, but they just seem to be here of their own. I can't find any proof that I exist, other than that I am here, something is here, looking out of my eyes, but I do not seem to be anywhere to be found inside.

[Garsius Tyla]

there seems to be nothing

I guess I don't exist

This is not a right to place a building on those "guess", "seems". Only 100% sure.

I am alive

Here. What that "I" here stands for?

I can't find any proof that I exist, other than that I am here, something is here, looking out of my eyes, but I do not seem to be anywhere to be found inside.

Looking is. Does it need any entity who look?

but I do not seem to be anywhere to be found inside.

How about "outside"? Look for that "I". Can you find it anywhere "outside"?

Look. Investigate.

[Thorzen]

Looking needs no entity, it is without any name or guide. It is something, but there is no I in it. It just is there.

What do you mean looking for I outside? Do you mean the body? Or outside it? In the world?

[Garsius Tyla]

What do you mean looking for I outside? Do you mean the body? Or outside it? In the world?

You told, that you cannot find I inside. That is why I asked to look for that "I" somewhere "outside". Let it be outside the body.

And Ill repeat a question ( it is kind of important to investigate, how that false belief in a self arose) I asked above:


Thorzen wrote:
I am alive


Here. What that "I" here stands for?

[Thorzen]

There is a feeling of being alive, and the I is the one that knows the feeling. Without the I to know the feeling, the feeling would be there but there would be no-one to know it. The I is the looking.

[Garsius Tyla]

There is a feeling of being alive, and the I is the one that knows the feeling. Without the I to know the feeling, the feeling would be there but there would be no-one to know it. The I is the looking.

Ohh, sweet habit to be identified with something...

It was body. "Im body".
It was thought. "Im mind".
Today we saw nothingness. "Im nothingness"
Now it is looking. "Im looking"

Old game of identification. See that?

Investigate looking. You are aware of it so that is not you. Right?

Look at process, how thought cling "I" to everything.

[Thorzen]

True, I am aware of looking so I can't be looking.. but then what am I?

[Garsius Tyla]

Look for yourself. Can you find any?

Or it is just belief, that you "must be"?

[Thorzen]

But this body is alive, and this mind is alive, and there is feeling, and there is awareness of it all. So if I am not any of it, who does things? Why does this lifeform exist? Why do I think I am if I am not?

If there is no I, then what to do here with the body and the mind? What is the point? What should be done with the body? What has meaning?

[Garsius Tyla]

Those are interesting thought, that arose there. My answer will be short and I WOULD LIKE TO CUT IT HERE. After you can tell me yourself, how you see that all.

It is Life, living itself. No I is needed for life to be. And that is Freedom itself.

Let's keep sharp focus on the Gate: seeing through illusion of self.

Any doubts left?

You exist, or you don't?

[Thorzen]

Life exists, I do not

[Garsius Tyla]

How do you feel at moment, what is there?

[Thorzen]

There is a soft pulsing in teh legs, other than that, nothing.