Introduction

[Noro]

Hello Wisiwig,

My preference would be to continue to challenge myself. The fatigue will fade as my cognitive structure adjusts to the new framework. So let's keep charging on!

We will keep going for sure, but let's look at this. When I read the first sentence I feel a lot of energetic pressure. You have just done the exercise saying words including "I am....." and without that label.
I would like you to look into this preference to continue to challenge yourself.

What or who benefits or takes ownership of something called challenging?
What is the narrative going on behind this desire to challenge yourself?
How does this intensity (for want of a better word) feel in the body?
Is 'challenging yourself' a familiar pattern?

Fill in the gaps, first thought best thought:
If I don't challenge myself then I ..........(A) ................
And if (A) happens that will mean ...........(B).......
And if that, (B) happens then ...................(C)..................
And that will mean ....................(D) ..................

Please fill in the gaps (A, B, C, D) and send the inquiry with your next post.

4. Did you notice any differences in the body between the two ways?

Using ‘I am’ consumed energy, it created a clenching sensation. Not using ‘I am’ did not produce the clenching sensation.

Yes, exactly, anything that 'triggers' the "me system" consumes energy and diverts from the openness and flow that is already present.

My thoughts about this: The more this is seen and experienced in everyday life, and the "me energy" of contraction is invited along as part of the flow rather than diverting into narrative the more the energetic charge of pressure that has been held in the body can be released.

I am laying on a sofa; sensation
I am hearing a washing machine; hearing

Oh, I am really glad you have found that meditation, and that you have found it helpful, it was actually coming up next!! These two 'meditations' are really powerful in helping to re-center when thought takes over. Here it is:

DIRECT EXPERIENCE OF DAILY ACTIVITIES

Here's an exercise that I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities as simply color/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought.

So for example, when having breakfast, becoming aware of the experiencing of a cup of coffee:

Seeing a cup; simply= color
Smelling coffee; simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup; simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee; simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee; simply = sound
Thinking about drinking the coffee; simply = thought

Please explore any simple daily activities that can be broken down into these categories of Direct Experience and report back with lists exactly like the one above.

The point here is to understand the difference between what is actually being experienced (Direct Experience or DE) and not what is interpretation (Conventional experience or CE).

You can make this a meditation as you go about your daily tasks whenever it comes to mind. And write a few down for your next reply.

Using the most simple labels resulted in ease and openness and actively reminded me of what I have learned in the past week.

I would love it if you could say more about this learning? Is this an intellectual learning, or is it more that there is learning a new way of seeing (through direct experience and direct inquiry). Conventionally speaking when someone says, or even if I say, "I am learning......" it seems as if there is some kind of gain involved for the "me structure". Is this the case with you?

If learning = gaining, who or what is gaining
And now look:
Who or what stands to gain when it is seen that there is no independent separate self and never has been?



Warm regards,
Rowena

[Wisiwig]

What or who benefits or takes ownership of something called challenging?

In retrospect it would seem that the ‘separate self’ would benefit from ownership and a challenge.

What is the narrative going on behind this desire to challenge yourself?

It consists of a belief that there is an actor who is responsible and a belief that applying ones self (hard work, long hours, discipline) will improve the probability and desirability of the outcome.

How does this intensity (for want of a better word) feel in the body?

It feels like a contraction.

Is 'challenging yourself' a familiar pattern?

Yes, this belief was taught to me as a young boy and has been a mainstay of professional and personal ambitions/desires, however, after being exposed to the idea that I have no control, I have experienced some relief. But the belief obviously remains. Perhaps the best thing I can do is to become aware of those thoughts that prompt me to challenge/discipline my separate self. There should be no need for this if I am accepting the now. But simply noticing when the thought of challenging myself arises will enable me to apply it constructively.
I suggest applying it constructively because I recently read a book by Angelo Dilullo wherein he describes the ‘one pointed approach’ to awakening. He describes it as devoting one’s attention to the awakening, which seems to be a softening of the challenge approach. This aligns well with what I have been doing.

Fill in the gaps, first thought best thought:

If I don't challenge myself then I will not change / I will fail.
And if (A) happens that will mean the desired outcomes will not manifest.
And if that, (B) happens then I will not have realized my true nature.
And that will mean I will die in ignorance.

You can make this a meditation as you go about your daily tasks whenever it comes to mind. And write a few down for your next reply.

Ever since I read this exercise in the Gate archives I have used it to anchor myself to direct experience.
Sitting in chair; sensation
wearing headphones: sensation
Listening to headphones: sound
Imagining drinking cacao while water heats: thought, taste, smell
Drinking hot cacao: smell, taste
Looking at computer screen: color
Reading text message: color, thought

Using the most simple labels resulted in ease and openness and actively reminded me of what I have learned in the past week.
I would love it if you could say more about this learning? Is this an intellectual learning, or is it more that there is learning a new way of seeing (through direct experience and direct inquiry). Conventionally speaking when someone says, or even if I say, "I am learning......" it seems as if there is some kind of gain involved for the "me structure". Is this the case with you?

If learning = gaining, who or what is gaining
And now look:
Who or what stands to gain when it is seen that there is no independent separate self and never has been?

When I wrote ‘I am learning’ it meant that I am surrendering the assumptions that shaped how I perceived sensations, senses, and thoughts. Also, I have learned to trust the subtle perceptions that reveal/enliven direct experience. The ‘learning’ is as much a ‘leaving behind’ as it is a ‘recognizing’.
Direct experience/inquiry has connected me with a more simple interaction/understanding (both intellectual and experiential). It is nothing new, it was always happening, but I am now aware of beliefs/assumptions that interfered, as well a greater awareness of the subtle shifts that support direct experience.

[Noro]

Good going Wisiwig,

In retrospect it would seem that the ‘separate self’ would benefit from ownership and a challenge.

That's funny isn't it, since there is no separate self. But, there is still a selfing mechanism that seems to be running, like a huge oil tanker at sea can still keep forward movement even when the motor has been turned off.

How does this intensity (for want of a better word) feel in the body?
It feels like a contraction.

This is where the focus needs to be placed. All that effort that is working so hard, and it is working hard in order to defend against some deep seated fear: If I don't challenge myself then I will not change / I will fail.
And if (A) happens that will mean the desired outcomes will not manifest.
And if that, (B) happens then I will not have realized my true nature.
And that will mean I will die in ignorance.
So now continue: And if I die in ignorance then ........................
And that will mean ....................................
And then ......................................
And that will mean ..........................................

See if you can keep emotionally connected to the beliefs that are surfacing, it is not an intellectual exercise, it is a way to get to deeper hidden fears that keep the belief in place. Does this make sense to you?

Perhaps the best thing I can do is to become aware of those thoughts that prompt me to challenge/discipline my separate self. There should be no need for this if I am accepting the now. But simply noticing when the thought of challenging myself arises will enable me to apply it constructively.

Yes, my suggestion is that when thoughts of challenging arise look at the felt sensations going on in the body, for that is where the intensity lies. Go in and FEEL the intensity, FEEL what it is protecting, see if you can make the contractions become even stronger, and stay with them. For you now, felt sensation is the way forward, not intellectual /rational questioning.

..........If you would walk the highest Way,
do not reject the sense domain.

For as it is, whole and complete,
this sense world is Enlightenment.

The wise do not strive after goals;
the foolish put themselves in bonds..........

I suggest applying it constructively because I recently read a book by Angelo Dilullo wherein he describes the ‘one pointed approach’ to awakening. He describes it as devoting one’s attention to the awakening, which seems to be a softening of the challenge approach. This aligns well with what I have been doing.

This is a great book, and I think Angelo's guidance is very sound. I think that there is a time an place for all the many different approaches. It is definitely not a one-size fits all.

When I wrote ‘I am learning’ it meant that I am surrendering the assumptions that shaped how I perceived sensations, senses, and thoughts. Also, I have learned to trust the subtle perceptions that reveal/enliven direct experience. The ‘learning’ is as much a ‘leaving behind’ as it is a ‘recognizing’.
Direct experience/inquiry has connected me with a more simple interaction/understanding (both intellectual and experiential). It is nothing new, it was always happening, but I am now aware of beliefs/assumptions that interfered, as well a greater awareness of the subtle shifts that support direct experience.

This is good to read.
There's nothing in this for 'you', for the 'you' you have been taught you are will never awaken, will never become enlightened, for it simply doesn't exist.


HOW TO DISTINGUISH WHAT FEELS FREE AND ALIVE (TRUE) FROM WHAT FEELS CONTRACTED (FALSE/UNTRUE/LIE)

We often 'lie' every day & don't realize it.

For example, the grocery clerk asks, "How are you?" You reply, "I'm fine." While, yes, there is a sense in which we are always fine, even in the middle of suffering, at that moment, you might have been grieving the death of your dog, you had a slight sore throat & you had a headache, but you didn't feel like sharing all of that with the grocery clerk, so you 'lied', "I'm fine."

In conventional or consensus reality we are not going to be airing everything that is going on in our lives, but it is important that we become aware of our inner state of body sensations. While the body sensations are true, meaning that our direct experience of them is real, the way we interpret them can be misleading.

Lies can be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious, even so automatic that we ourselves are fooled, and this last point is the most important.

The story of a separate "self" is a lie. This is the lie you came here to see through. Therefore, it is important to notice the body sensation of lying as one of the tools for finding the truth of no self.

You want to be in touch with body sensations & able to clearly describe them in words. This will help.
Lies can be felt in the upper body, often in the heart, solar plexus or arms, as a contraction that we may label as tight, heavy or tense.

In contrast, truth is usually expansive. We may call it loose, light or relaxed. It feels like relief, like some heavy load has dropped away. You felt that when you did the exercise dropping the words "I am", do you remember?


First, can you remember a time when you lied to someone you loved?

Here we count anything, lies we think of as "big" or "small" that "matter" or don't "matter."

How are you? I'm fine. No, your knee hurts, but you don't feel like discussing it with the grocery clerk.

It's a lie. A seemingly "bigger" one will work better for this exercise.

Find the lie. You don't need the whole story, just a few key words to refer to it.

Then scan your body for any Sensation (DE or Direct Experience), particularly in the gut or maybe the heart. Check very closely.

What is found?

If you think the memory you used wasn't clear enough, find another one or lie to yourself right now, make something up.

1 + 1 = 14 is a lie.

I love eating worms is (probably) a lie.

Or call up a video of a lying politician & notice what body sensations arise as you listen.

Or, even looking at what happens in your body when you have a thought "I should have done ..............." or, "This should / should not have happened................."

Please report back with what body sensations (not interpretations) you felt. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.

Warm regards,
Rowena

[Wisiwig]

This is where the focus needs to be placed. All that effort that is working so hard, and it is working hard in order to defend against some deep seated fear: If I don't challenge myself then I will not change / I will fail.
And if (A) happens that will mean the desired outcomes will not manifest.
And if that, (B) happens then I will not have realized my true nature.
And that will mean I will die in ignorance.
So now continue: And if I die in ignorance then ........................
And that will mean ....................................
And then ......................................
And that will mean .......................................…
See if you can keep emotionally connected to the beliefs that are surfacing, it is not an intellectual exercise, it is a way to get to deeper hidden fears that keep the belief in place. Does this make sense to you?

As I read the above, my mind opened up to the power of this exercise. In the first go-around, I didn’t give it much time. But now that I see the significance and power of this exercise, I devoted an hour to exploring and experiencing the results. I prefer not to post the outcome on the internet.

HOW TO DISTINGUISH WHAT FEELS FREE AND ALIVE (TRUE) FROM WHAT FEELS CONTRACTED (FALSE/UNTRUE/LIE)
Please report back with what body sensations (not interpretations) you felt. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.

There is a sensation of energy being drained out of the body, a sensation of lightheadedness. There is a dullness, a dead spot in the chest, an ache in the chest. There is a sensation of being compressed. I saw

[Noro]

Hello Wisiwig,

As I read the above, my mind opened up to the power of this exercise. In the first go-around, I didn’t give it much time. But now that I see the significance and power of this exercise, I devoted an hour to exploring and experiencing the results. I prefer not to post the outcome on the internet.

Wonderful, I am so happy that you got it..... and it can be used in any inquiry where there is resistance, so easily.

There is a sensation of energy being drained out of the body, a sensation of lightheadedness. There is a dullness, a dead spot in the chest, an ache in the chest. There is a sensation of being compressed. I saw

Okay, good, first of all, does this refer to what feels false/untrue/a lie?

And you can go further into the descriptions:
Ask: Where is the sensation that feels like energy is drained out of the body?
What is lightheadedness: It has more sensation to it than you think. Where is that sensation located?
Head/Chest/Solar Plexus?

Let me know,

Warmly regards,
Rowena

[Wisiwig]

There is a sensation of energy being drained out of the body, a sensation of lightheadedness. There is a dullness, a dead spot in the chest, an ache in the chest. There is a sensation of being compressed.
Okay, good, first of all, does this refer to what feels false/untrue/a lie?

This is how I felt when reviewing an actual lie. I took my time and used this as an opportunity to process that emotional content.
And you can go further into the descriptions:

Ask: Where is the sensation that feels like energy is drained out of the body?
The sensation that energy had been drained out of the body could be described as a general fatigue after exertion.
What is lightheadedness: It has more sensation to it than you think. Where is that sensation located?

Lightheadedness seemed to be a disturbance in an energy body, as if energy was swirling around the head. I can’t reconnect with it now, but it was disorienting and affected my sense of balance.

[Noro]

Lightheadedness seemed to be a disturbance in an energy body, as if energy was swirling around the head. I can’t reconnect with it now, but it was disorienting and affected my sense of balance.

Yes, it surely was a disturbance in an energy body. The reason I would like you to be attentive is that this might happen again, and I have found that there can be places in the head where there might be some sensation or even numbness which when allowed to be present will soften and the sensation of lightheadedness can disburse more easily. Also, bringing your attention down to the Hara for grounding will of course help. You are really on the right track with this now. :)

Here is a lovely meditation. Nothing to grasp intellectually, only to bask in the total aliveness that is your direct experience.


NATURE APPRECIATION

Go outside into nature (or simply outside where you live) and spend some time watching the movement of the whole. See how clouds move, trees swing, leaves wiggle, grass moves, insects, birds, cars, people - all move all the time.

Then move your attention to sensations and see how they too are in constant motion, thoughts come and go, sounds, colours, sensations come and go.

Notice that everything is part of one movement, always. Only thoughts can seem to distract from this one movement, and actually, they too are part of that one movement.

Now close your eyes and see if there is a line between you and out there, between you and life itself. If yes, where is the boundary?

Now open your eyes

Where does over there appear?

Is there an inside and an outside of Life?

Is there something which is not included in the movement of the whole?

Does it seem as if there a witness that is watching life happening from a distance?

Is witnessing part of the one movement, too?

Can an actual witness be found?

Are there any body sensations involved?

Is there anything missing?

Is there anything that is apart from the whole?

No need to reply to the questions, but tell me how you experienced this meditation.


Warm regards,
Rowena

[Wisiwig]

NATURE APPRECIATION

‘Over there’ appears ‘in here’, it has always been ‘in here’, there is no where else for ‘over there’ to appear. There is only a witness if I think about the possibility of there being a witness. A witness must be created using thought. Observation is taking place, but the notion of a witness involves a separate self, which is not there. The visual field simply is, there is no subject viewing the field. I realized that the impression that ‘reality is over there’ is constructed by providing many inputs at the same time; sensation of wind on the skin, visual perception of many colors and movement, sounds that are associated to shapes/movement in the visual field. ‘Over there’ is imputed out of those inputs. Life only occurs inside. I did not connect with this question: 'Is there anything that is apart from the whole?'. If it means is there a witness or otherness, then no, the experience is intimate and immediate with no other characters.

This exercise leaves me with a sense of isolation, not connection to the whole. A sense that there is observation, which is this experience, and the observation is from a solitary point of view. Alone, watching a movie.

[Noro]

‘Over there’ appears ‘in here’, it has always been ‘in here’, there is no where else for ‘over there’ to appear.

Where does 'over there' end and 'in here' begin?
Where is the exact location of 'in here' in your DIRECT EXPERIENCE?
What is there in your direct experience that allows for an "in here" to appear separate from the whole?
What is left when you drop the concept /thought "in here"?

Seeing is happening,
Hearing is happening
Body sensations are happening
Smells are happening
Tastes are happening
Thoughts are happening

All together one arising, one flow, immediacy, aliveness.

There is only a witness if I think about the possibility of there being a witness. A witness must be created using thought.

Yes, exactly, the same as "in here"!!

Observation is taking place, but the notion of a witness involves a separate self, which is not there. The visual field simply is, there is no subject viewing the field. I realized that the impression that ‘reality is over there’ is constructed by providing many inputs at the same time; sensation of wind on the skin, visual perception of many colors and movement, sounds that are associated to shapes/movement in the visual field. ‘Over there’ is imputed out of those inputs.

OK fine but that is conceptual and we are looking directly here.

Life only occurs inside.

That is an uninvestigated statement. That is not your direct experience.
Insider of where?
Where is inside located?
Does inside have a boundary?
Where is that boundary located?

I did not connect with this question: 'Is there anything that is apart from the whole?'. If it means is there a witness or otherness, then no, the experience is intimate and immediate with no other characters.

Lovely, and is there anything that can be found to be separate from the whole?
Can an "in here" be found?
Can an "out there" be found? Except as an overlay of conceptual /conventional thinking.

This exercise leaves me with a sense of isolation, not connection to the whole. A sense that there is observation, which is this experience, and the observation is from a solitary point of view. Alone, watching a movie.

This statement is in direct contradiction to your direct experience above. So thought has stepped in as it wants to return to the old paradigm. This is actually a hidden treasure to investigate!

What is your direct experience of "a sense of isolation, not connection to the whole"?
Is that not an un-investigated belief?
"I feel isolated, not connected" ...... OK where is that thought pointing? LOOK INSIDE
What is the felt sense of a sense of isolation, not connection to the whole.
What emotion is there? Sadness, Fear, Resentment perhaps? Stay with the feelings. Be curious, they probably go way back and might feel very young.

As if you were very gently questioning a young child, see if you can go deeper than that first protective layer of a sense of isolation, of not connection to the whole. Concentrate on the feelings, if a narrative or a memory arises, use that as a pointer to return to the feelings.

And another question:
What is this sense that there is observation? DIRECT EXPERIENCE PLEASE
Look for tension behind the eyes, in the head.

Please be self-regulated, calm, relaxed and grounded as you explore, and watch how thoughts jump in and whisk your attention away from THIS IMMEDIACY.

Warm regards,
Rowena

[Wisiwig]

Where does 'over there' end and 'in here' begin?
Where is the exact location of 'in here' in your DIRECT EXPERIENCE?
What is there in your direct experience that allows for an "in here" to appear separate from the whole?
What is left when you drop the concept /thought "in here"?
Insider of where?
Where is inside located?
Does inside have a boundary?
Where is that boundary located?

There clearly is not an ‘outside’, there is no boundary. The direct experience does not happen ‘out there.’ The experience simply is.
Is there an ‘inside’? There is no boundary for an inside. Since ‘inside’ is a concept (thought), there is no inside. The experience simply is.

What is your direct experience of "a sense of isolation, not connection to the whole"?
Is that not an un-investigated belief?

This is an ongoing question of “What am I?” If I am not a separate self and there is no observer, perceiver, seer, etc, what is it? Yes, still working on this...

And another question:
What is this sense that there is observation? DIRECT EXPERIENCE PLEASE

There is observation (seeing), but no observer
There are colors, but no seer
There is sensation, but no sensor
There is sound, but no hearer
There is thought, but no thinker
There is smell, but no smeller
There is taste, but no taster

[Noro]

Hello Wisiwig,

There clearly is not an ‘outside’, there is no boundary. The direct experience does not happen ‘out there.’ The experience simply is.
Is there an ‘inside’? There is no boundary for an inside. Since ‘inside’ is a concept (thought), there is no inside. The experience simply is.

Yes, it simply is <3 :) <3

Can you relax into this immediacy? Let thoughts do their thing. Let sensations do their thing. Let birds or clouds flying by do their thing. Let everything do its thing, including what SEEMS to be a personal thing doing its thing.

This is an ongoing question of “What am I?” If I am not a separate self and there is no observer, perceiver, seer, etc, what is it? Yes, still working on this...

Keep looking gently, are "you" not included in "The experience simply is"?
Is there anywhere else you could be? Is the question "who" or "what" even answerable?
Wouldn't an answer just open up more questions? Deeper mystery?

Think about looking at any organic material, alive or not, under a microscope. Under the strongest microscope doesn't everything turn out to be 99% space? At least that is what quantum physics tells us. If what feels like "you" keeps looking in order to get a solid answer, or glimpse of certainty that will NEVER happen.

The mechanism identified as "you" is a seeking mechanism. There is seeking for happiness, a seeking for understanding, a seeking for meaning, a seeking for purpose... Always on the go, so "The experience simply is" is missed in favor of some imagined better version.


Please look again at the Nature Meditation, this time, please take the time to feel calm and relaxed and answer all the questions from your direct experience, without conceptual overlay.

NATURE MEDITATION

Go outside into nature (or simply outside where you live) and spend some time watching the movement of the whole. See how clouds move, trees swing, leaves wiggle, grass moves, insects, birds, cars, people - all move all the time.

Then move your attention to sensations and see how they too are in constant motion, thoughts come and go, sounds, colours, sensations come and go.

Notice that everything is part of one movement, always. Only thoughts can seem to distract from this one movement, and actually, they too are part of that one movement.

Now close your eyes and see if there is a line between you and out there, between you and life itself. If yes, where is the boundary?

Now open your eyes

Where does over there appear?

Is there an inside and an outside of Life?

Is there something which is not included in the movement of the whole?

Does it seem as if there a witness that is watching life happening from a distance?

Is witnessing part of the one movement, too?

Can an actual witness be found?

Are there any body sensations involved?

Is there anything missing?

Is there anything to achieve?

Is there anything to know?

Is there anything to understand?


Keep me posted!

Warm regards,
Rowena

[Wisiwig]

Keep looking gently, are "you" not included in "The experience simply is"?
Is there anywhere else you could be? Is the question "who" or "what" even answerable?
Wouldn't an answer just open up more questions? Deeper mystery?

The experience ‘I simply am’ holds the connection to the experience. There is no ‘I’ character. This is a new impression, but that’s the way I sense it.

NATURE MEDITATION

Go outside into nature (or simply outside where you live) and spend some time watching the movement of the whole. See how clouds move, trees swing, leaves wiggle, grass moves, insects, birds, cars, people - all move all the time.

Then move your attention to sensations and see how they too are in constant motion, thoughts come and go, sounds, colours, sensations come and go.

Notice that everything is part of one movement, always. Only thoughts can seem to distract from this one movement, and actually, they too are part of that one movement.

Now close your eyes and see if there is a line between you and out there, between you and life itself. If yes, where is the boundary?

There is no boundary.

Now open your eyes

Where does over there appear?

There is no ‘over there’, there is only an immediate experience of color/sound.

Is there an inside and an outside of Life?

No, there are no boundaries, no distance.

Is there something which is not included in the movement of the whole?

There was a sense that the movement was in balance/complete, nothing, even the sudden sound of a child crying after falling onto the pavement, was out of balance.

Does it seem as if there a witness that is watching life happening from a distance?

An experience exists and that experience is witnessed, but there is no witness.

Is witnessing part of the one movement, too?

Yes, witnessing, seeing, and hearing are all part of the scene.

Can an actual witness be found?

There is no actual witness.

Are there any body sensations involved?

Body sensations are part of the movement of sensory input

Is there anything missing?

The experience was complete, nothing was missing.

Is there anything to achieve?

There is nothing to achieve, no where to go, nothing needing to be done.

Is there anything to know?

There was a balance of continuity and spontaneity, no urge to think or collect intellectual knowledge, if that is how ‘know’ is being defined. However, there was the experience of ‘knowing’ that the experience was complete without thinking about it.

Is there anything to understand?

No, understanding would infer thinking. There was a ‘knowing’ that there was balance/order within the movement. No thinking was required to sense the balance of the movement.

[Noro]

Hello Wisiwig,

It was lovely to read your experience of the Nature Meditation this time.


STREAM MEDITATION - PERSONAL DOERSHIP
Imagine for a moment a scene, one of a little mountain stream which is tumbling down a hillside gully, not far from its source. It has been raining and so the level is quite high.

Consider in your mind's eye, if you can, how it flows to the right over a little rock (where, had the level been lower, it would probably have gone around the rock), then the flow goes to the left over a tree bow, and then slows a little in a broader place, before splashing over a small cascade into a pool, and so on down the mountain side.

Does it choose any of its directions? Is a stream ever really a separate entity, different from other water deposited in it, the rocks, the depressions in the ground etc? Is it ever the exact same entity moment by moment, or more the product of weather conditions, ground conditions and water, like an ever-changing pattern?

1. Using this metaphor, can you find anywhere where "you" autonomously intervene into life, choosing something that is not the product of all the elements; that is not a part of the overall flow?

2. Now please consider a regular decision made eg; what to wear in the morning, or what to eat for lunch, and describe to me what happens.

Consider that there are environmental factors, consider any preferences like color, shape and texture.
Consider where did those preferences come from?

Was any autonomous intervention needed or actually involved?
In other words, was a separate, independent entity required to make a choice?

Consider any practical issues (such as what is available).
Consider the time factor, i.e. for preparation.
Consider the purpose (eg; need to fill up for the day, or to look hip and cool for that person!) etc.

Where in all of the above is an autonomous entity intervening in the flow of life?

Can you find a someone somewhere, anywhere?
(Not just thoughts, and thoughts about the thoughts (thought bundles), none of which are solid even if they seem to have some solidity for an instant.)

Do you control attention?
Do you control feelings?
Do you control choices?
Do you control thoughts?
Do you control anything?

3. Now consider, can anything be found for which a 'you' is responsible – if so responsible to what and for what?
This does not mean that a thought/concept called 'responsibility' does not automatically arise where needed.

4. Take your time with this exercise and occasionally stop for a few moments throughout your day and take a look. When you find your attention caught up in thinking.... stop, take a look....

Was there a "you" that suddenly stopped the trail of thought and said "Oh, I'm lost in thought!" ?
Do you control being "lost in thought?"

Please let me know how all this is landing with you now.
How is the general baseline mood that you find yourself in as you go about your day?
If there is a preference regarding a 'mood" how does that preference make itself known?


Warm regards,
Rowena

[Wisiwig]

STREAM MEDITATION - PERSONAL DOERSHIP
Imagine for a moment a scene, one of a little mountain stream which is tumbling down a hillside gully, not far from its source. It has been raining and so the level is quite high.

Consider in your mind's eye, if you can, how it flows to the right over a little rock (where, had the level been lower, it would probably have gone around the rock), then the flow goes to the left over a tree bow, and then slows a little in a broader place, before splashing over a small cascade into a pool, and so on down the mountain side.

Does it choose any of its directions? Is a stream ever really a separate entity, different from other water deposited in it, the rocks, the depressions in the ground etc? Is it ever the exact same entity moment by moment, or more the product of weather conditions, ground conditions and water, like an ever-changing pattern?

1. Using this metaphor, can you find anywhere where "you" autonomously intervene into life, choosing something that is not the product of all the elements; that is not a part of the overall flow?

Yes, often driven by fear of missing out or desire to appeal to others.
It is impossible for the human robot to do something that is not the product of the overall flow. Decisions align with the information available to the ‘mind’ which is influenced by mood, active memory, imagination, and sensory input. It seems that there is an interactive process between presenting thoughts and anticipated outcomes.

2. Now please consider a regular decision made eg; what to wear in the morning, or what to eat for lunch, and describe to me what happens.

DecisionWhat to eat for lunch. A thought pops up “What to eat for lunch?” which prompted a quick scan of the food stash and a thought ‘walk to the fruit/veggie store to buy veggies for lunch’. Variations of preparation were considered by the appeal of various imagined taste, odor, and satisfaction sensations.

Consider that there are environmental factors, consider any preferences like color, shape and texture.
Consider where did those preferences come from?

The preferences simply were, the preferences presented with no initiation.

Was any autonomous intervention needed or actually involved?
In other words, was a separate, independent entity required to make a choice?

The process was automatic, no intervention was required.
There was no entity, just seeking alignment with satisfactory sensations.

Consider any practical issues (such as what is available).
Consider the time factor, i.e. for preparation.
Consider the purpose (eg; need to fill up for the day, or to look hip and cool for that person!) etc.

Considerations included what was available at home, what was available at the produce stand. The temperature was cooler today so baking the food was an option (opted for baked potatoes)

Where in all of the above is an autonomous entity intervening in the flow of life?

There was no autonomous entity controlling the process, it simply flowed from scanning for food, imagining the possibilities, and cooking the food.

Can you find a someone somewhere, anywhere?
(Not just thoughts, and thoughts about the thoughts (thought bundles), none of which are solid even if they seem to have some solidity for an instant.)

I cannot find a someone anywhere.

Do you control attention?

No, I do not control attention. Any ‘self-directed’ instruction to control attention simply arises from something other than a separate self.

Do you control feelings?

No, feelings simply arise spontaneously.

Do you control choices?

No, I don’t control choices.

Do you control thoughts?

No, thoughts spontaneously appear.

Do you control anything?

Apparently not, since I have found that everything is not being controlled by a separate self.

3. Now consider, can anything be found for which a 'you' is responsible – if so responsible to what and for what?
This does not mean that a thought/concept called 'responsibility' does not automatically arise where needed.

This is the biggest cosmic joke on mankind, the root of grief and shame, and the main stay of manipulators and propagandists. There is no ‘you’ so there is no ‘you’ that is responsible.

4. Take your time with this exercise and occasionally stop for a few moments throughout your day and take a look. When you find your attention caught up in thinking.... stop, take a look....

Was there a "you" that suddenly stopped the trail of thought and said "Oh, I'm lost in thought!" ?
Do you control being "lost in thought?"

I’ve been holding out that I have the ability to set intentions, but everything else is out of my control. This is the mind bender. Do I choose to set intentions, if no, there is absolutely no autonomy. My experience is that there is an ability to apply attention to a question and that it is volitional. If this capacity exists, it cannot arise out of a separate self. It may arise out of the ‘impersonal I’ described by Ramana Maharshi.

Please let me know how all this is landing with you now.
How is the general baseline mood that you find yourself in as you go about your day?
If there is a preference regarding a 'mood" how does that preference make itself known?

The work is prompting deep inquiry. It is exciting, frustrating, and confounding. My mood is positive and I note that I am less influenced by mood/emotion sensations and thoughts. I am more accepting and compassionate toward others, seeing that their views, considerations, and plights are out of their control. My life experiences are viewed through a more forgiving/accepting lens. There is no mood ‘preference’, it simply is what it is, but the normal mood is characterized by stability, openness, detachment from world events. It used to be the case that I spent 1-2 hours a day on awakening-related activities. Lately, that is closer to 6 to 10 hours a day (responding to these exercises, watching/listening to youtube videos, reading, and meditating). I am fortunate that I can work and listen/watch video/audio material and take breaks as needed.

[Noro]

Hi Wisiwig,

The last exploration seems very clear, but there are a couple of things to look at.

When we revert to conventional language we need to be very clear that we are not getting carried away by conventional concepts which for the most part are very broad:

Assumptions / Expectations / Interpretations / Imaginations / Conclusions etc.

FEAR as an acronym gives: False Evidence Appearing Real - So some imagined ideas that are conclusions about the future, based on hand-me-down cautions, or past memories that create an appearance of sensations and thoughts.... all a part of the overall flow.

1. Using this metaphor, can you find anywhere where "you" autonomously intervene into life, choosing something that is not the product of all the elements; that is not a part of the overall flow?

Yes, often driven by fear of missing out or desire to appeal to others.
It is impossible for the human robot to do something that is not the product of the overall flow. Decisions align with the information available to the ‘mind’ which is influenced by mood, active memory, imagination, and sensory input. It seems that there is an interactive process between presenting thoughts and anticipated outcomes.

You wrote yes for this answer, perhaps the question was not totally clear:
So does that mean that when there is a FEAR of missing out, or desire to appeal to others that this is not a part of the overall flow?
Describe fear of missing out in simple terms based on the above.
Describe desire to appeal to others based on the above.

3. Now consider, can anything be found for which a 'you' is responsible – if so responsible to what and for what?
This does not mean that a thought/concept called 'responsibility' does not automatically arise where needed.

This is the biggest cosmic joke on mankind, the root of grief and shame, and the main stay of manipulators and propagandists. There is no ‘you’ so there is no ‘you’ that is responsible.

I am laughing with you! :)

I’ve been holding out that I have the ability to set intentions, but everything else is out of my control. This is the mind bender. Do I choose to set intentions, if no, there is absolutely no autonomy. My experience is that there is an ability to apply attention to a question and that it is volitional. If this capacity exists, it cannot arise out of a separate self. It may arise out of the ‘impersonal I’ described by Ramana Maharshi.

Are 'you' holding out on this, or is it not simply thinking is happening regarding this question?
Who could have or not have control of anything?
Above you stated" "I don't control choices" so is there a choice whether an intention is set or not? How often have you laid in bed and told yourself "I must get up now" and ignored that thought (intention) ?

It may arise out of the ‘impersonal I’ described by Ramana Maharshi.

That is as good a conclusion as any, but that's all that is. Some bit of information offered to appease minds hungry to 'know'.

The work is prompting deep inquiry. It is exciting, frustrating, and confounding. My mood is positive and I note that I am less influenced by mood/emotion sensations and thoughts. I am more accepting and compassionate toward others, seeing that their views, considerations, and plights are out of their control. My life experiences are viewed through a more forgiving/accepting lens. There is no mood ‘preference’, it simply is what it is, but the normal mood is characterized by stability, openness, detachment from world events. It used to be the case that I spent 1-2 hours a day on awakening-related activities. Lately, that is closer to 6 to 10 hours a day (responding to these exercises, watching/listening to youtube videos, reading, and meditating). I am fortunate that I can work and listen/watch video/audio material and take breaks as needed.

That is really great to read.



EXPLORATION OF THE OPEN FIELDS OF SENSATION

Get comfortable, calm and relaxed, take a few breaths, and then:
Tune in to the VISUAL field and ask "What's here NOW?"
Bring full attention to the visual field with a wide, open viewing, as if the whole body was involved in the viewing, not just eyes. You have this open viewing and you are gently scanning the visual field, looking for nothing, as if it were a tapestry of colors one leading to another. Let go even of finding shapes or forms. It is not about what is seen, it is the relaxed open SEEING that is being experienced. FEEL the SEEING.

Atfer you do that for a short while, open attention up to the whole field of SOUND, as if you are opening up your whole body to the sound field, you are FEELING into the sound field, not individual sounds, as if it were one crazy moment of pure free-flow jazz. It might seem a little 'forced' in the beginning, start opening attention towards the field of body sensation, feet on floor, sitting on chair, feeling of 'forced', don't try to do anything with the body sensations, just include all as they are in this whole wide field of sensation.

And if thoughts arise, any thought, even a thought about an "I" seeing or not seeing, they too are simply an arising and falling back in to the field of thought, (consciousness) and back into the whole field of open sensation.

Practice this for short moments (or longer moments of relaxed meditation) throughout your day.

Let me know in a day or so how you get on with this.

Warm regards,
Rowena